Outside the Radio Station, After Radio, Late Tuesday Night

[the_merriest]

Last night was bad. And then today was confusing. When Romeo said ... everything Romeo said. And he'd ... he'd sounded bad on radio. So.

So Rikku was going to wait here, near the radio station. Just to see if anybody walked by that she might want to talk to. If she had anything to say. She might. She wasn't sure yet.

(for reno)

Comments

[raspberryturk]

Reno had rum. And bubble wrap. Bubble wrapped rum. For as much as he sympathized with Alice for having to listen to Britney Spears all day, this rum was his, damn it, and he wasn't giving it up to anybody.

Even if he was mostly just popping the bubbles, and kind of ignoring the alcohol. Bubble wrap was distracting.

Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop.

Pause. Stare.

"Oh, hey."

...

Pop.

[the_merriest]

"Hi," she said.

Words. She had words around here somewhere. Find them. Use them. Make some up. Flurbeshmin. Syzyphous.

"Talked to Romeo."

Those would work.

[raspberryturk]

"Notes said that. Yeah."

They totally did. The squirrels weren't liars in the least, except when they were.

"Me too."

Pop. Just one more. For good measure. The pops were far more eloquent than he was.

[the_merriest]

"He mentioned." He had. Totally a true statement, right there. Check it out.

He had bubblewrap to fidget with and she didn't. Totally not fair.

"He thought we had ... two different conversations."

Apparently, Reno's version hadn't involved the bits about him having massive commitment issues but wanting sex anyway.

Imagine that.

[raspberryturk]

"Kinda thought maybe we did."

Pop. He'd offer to share his fidgety thing, but when he ran out of bubble wrap, he fully intended to empty the contents of the bottle that it was hiding away. "Didn't want to argue some things."

[the_merriest]

"Oh?" she said, cool once again. Folding her arms. "Like your job, zoto."

[raspberryturk]

Reno glanced up at her, frowned, and idly popped another bubble.

"Like how you deserve better. Can't really argue that one, either."

[the_merriest]

"I do," she said firmly. Wondering why she had come here at all. "I told him ... I said, I deserve better than this. Than just being that to anyone. I do."

Shaky breath. She'd said it to Romeo. She could say it to him. And then she could walk away. Right then.

"I don't want to be that girl. The one who ... who's good enough for your bed but you'd never marry her."

Why would he?

[raspberryturk]

That was a whole bunch of little pops, as Reno tightened his grip on the neck of the bottle. Fully unintentional bubble wrap noise, that time.

"You ain't that girl. I just... don't get it. This marriage thing. Don't make sense to me. Piece of paper. Kiss once with maybe an audience, and you're good to go. What's that all about, anyhow?"

He'd been to all of one wedding in his life. And that was the Skywalker/Gilmore wedding, with Rikku. And he didn't have a freaking clue what was going on, there.

[the_merriest]

"Right," she said bitterly. "I'm not that girl. You, you're huge on commitment. Can't get enough of it. You've stopped fainting when I say 'date' or 'girlfriend.' I mean, it only took us sleeping together and Deadpool beating you up for you to reconsider on the dating thing, right?"

She folded her arms. "I'm not an idiot. If you didn't know what the hell marriage is, you wouldn't know to freak out when the subject came up. Just like 'date' and 'girlfriend' and everything else that implies I might stick around and get clingy."

[raspberryturk]

Reno fumbled the bottle.

It was fortunate that it was safely bubble-wrapped when it hit the ground.

He let it sit there.

"... I really made you think I felt that way? Like I didn't want... you? I like datin' you. And havin' a girlfriend. And you wantin' to be close."

And that right there was why she deserved better. He fucked it up.

"I suck at this."

[the_merriest]

She winced, when the bottle hit the ground. Dammit. And closed her eyes. She wasn't going to shake.

"You blame your job," she said -- okay, her voice was a little shaky, so what? "And then you tell me you told them no. You can, any time you want, but they're what you want. Not me. You'll die young for a bunch of soulless bastards. And if I ask you, just once ... you know, if there was a chance at more than that, this being more than just right now? Us being more than right now? Would you even want that? And you said ... you looked at me like I was asking if you wanted to go swimming in broken glass."

She looked away. Damn him. Damn him. "H-he said you thought I wanted you to give up the Turks. Right. I know how it is. They're first. They're second. They're third. I'm just whatever you squeeze into the edges. So long as I don't ask for much, right? I ..."

Damn him.

[raspberryturk]

"They'd kill you," he practically hissed, looking up again, wide-eyed like the words were about to take form and shape and steal her away. "He would. I said no when Tseng was throwin' a snit. I showed some backbone. If Rufus gave the same order and I said no, they'd know why. I can't just choose differently."

He stared at her, and for a moment he seriously considered the merits of biting off his own tongue before he could make this worse.

And then he reached for the bottle again.

Pop.

"Yeah. I'm a Turk. And sometimes it's first, second, and third because that's what I am. And sometimes it's first, second, and third because that's what it's gotta be. That don't mean you just get squeezed in, zoto. That ain't it at all."

[the_merriest]

Oh, awesome. An entirely new mess. This was great.

"You said he wouldn't," she insisted. "You said. I asked. If they'd come after me. You said no, don't worry about it. Except you think they would. And you didn't tell me. And -- and they're first, second, third, twenty-fourth, any number they want, but if I said, I'll go there and kill Rufus, I'll end this, you'd say no. You want this. You want to be theirs and die doing their dirty work. I'm just how you pass time until that happens."

[raspberryturk]

"I said he didn't give a shit about what you did. I said they wouldn't come after you because of what happened on Spira. But if I said no--" Reno was now actively practicing self-control in that he was not throwing the damn bottle at a nearby tree. "You're not just some placeholder until they call me back! If I had forever to offer, damn it, I would! It just ain't mine to give!"

Which made him a selfish fucking bastard for dragging her through all of this and making her think that she was just a fuck and maybe that was why Tseng had tried to warn him off of dating. Because he was bound to ruin it anyhow and maybe Tseng had been just looking out for Rikku, then. Because Reno sure as hell didn't deserve it.

[the_merriest]

"That's not what you said," she said, and she was trying not to tear up and why was this so stupid and complicated, anyway? "I never asked for any of that. I never asked for promises or ... I never asked for anything. And now you're saying you wouldn't take it if it was right there. If you could have it, you still wouldn't want it. You're never gonna get married, right? Why would you?"