Saturday Night
Rikku sat in her room, a dim-but-adorable kitten chewing on her toes, and tried to stop feeling like she wanted to scream.
It had just been a long month. That was all. She'd gone to Homecoming missing her Jude-dude and then boom, Hamlet showed up. As a ghost. Only to leave again. Of course. And then when Jude did get back, it was to tell her he was turning around to take off for good. They'd had one last fancy date, and decided to more-or-less split up. And then they'd ... yeah. That.
And then that repeatedly for the next several days until he stood on the Causeway and walked out of her life, and she was doing okay, not really, but she had Dawn and Luke and the best mentor ever with an ice-cream pony and then two days later she was in the clinic with her skull cracked open.
But it was okay, because Yunie came and they'd talked a had a good, long cry, and then she'd found Petey and and and things were getting better, right? Sort of. More or less. It would be okay, sooner or later.
And then some crazy lady pulled a gun on her and threatened Turtle and tried to kill Aly and that sort of had to go in the "crappy" pile, didn't it? And for some reason, that was it. Something in her had just ... snapped.
Maybe she couldn't fight, not really. Maybe they'd only taken her on as a Guardian since they couldn't get rid of her. Maybe she'd been a hindrance and a tagalong and not a real Guardian the whole time. Maybe a real fighter could have taken Harth, or stayed conscious for it. Maybe a real fighter could have done more yesterday than just hide behind the counter watching for openings. Maybe a real fighter ...
... great, feeling sorry for herself. She was alive, which was more than so many could say. Like Hamlet. Like Auron. Like Keyakku. She still had one of her parents, which was more than most people from Spira. Like Wakka. Like Yuna. Like Lulu. She was learning about machina and hadn't been called a filthy grease-monkey or a heathen in months, which was more than most Al Bhed, if not all of the rest of them, could hope for. Not that there were too many left, after Mi'ihen and after Home burned down and ...
... dammit.
Petey mrowlred at her curiously and he was the only thing stopping her from picking up something, anything, nearby and smashing it into the wall. She couldn't do this. Okay? Other people had it worse, and great, they were stronger than she was. Because she was weak and stupid and he'd convinced her to let her feel things instead of keeping her chin up and plowing forward, and that was really great of him to do, since he turned around and skipped town.
Rikku rubbed her eyes. She was sick and tired of everything and most of all feeling like this, and she could call her friends and - what, cry all over them some more? Of course. Just what they were sitting around waiting for, she was sure of it. Some friend she was.
"Fuck it," she said softly, scooping Petey up out of her lap and ignoring his mrrr of protest. She was going ... somewhere. Caritas. Sure. The bar. And she was going to drink until she stopped thinking about this. They had plenty of liquor, didn't they?
Rikku grabbed a coat and shut the door behind her.
(nfi, establishy. broadcast and ooc both okay.)
It had just been a long month. That was all. She'd gone to Homecoming missing her Jude-dude and then boom, Hamlet showed up. As a ghost. Only to leave again. Of course. And then when Jude did get back, it was to tell her he was turning around to take off for good. They'd had one last fancy date, and decided to more-or-less split up. And then they'd ... yeah. That.
And then that repeatedly for the next several days until he stood on the Causeway and walked out of her life, and she was doing okay, not really, but she had Dawn and Luke and the best mentor ever with an ice-cream pony and then two days later she was in the clinic with her skull cracked open.
But it was okay, because Yunie came and they'd talked a had a good, long cry, and then she'd found Petey and and and things were getting better, right? Sort of. More or less. It would be okay, sooner or later.
And then some crazy lady pulled a gun on her and threatened Turtle and tried to kill Aly and that sort of had to go in the "crappy" pile, didn't it? And for some reason, that was it. Something in her had just ... snapped.
Maybe she couldn't fight, not really. Maybe they'd only taken her on as a Guardian since they couldn't get rid of her. Maybe she'd been a hindrance and a tagalong and not a real Guardian the whole time. Maybe a real fighter could have taken Harth, or stayed conscious for it. Maybe a real fighter could have done more yesterday than just hide behind the counter watching for openings. Maybe a real fighter ...
... great, feeling sorry for herself. She was alive, which was more than so many could say. Like Hamlet. Like Auron. Like Keyakku. She still had one of her parents, which was more than most people from Spira. Like Wakka. Like Yuna. Like Lulu. She was learning about machina and hadn't been called a filthy grease-monkey or a heathen in months, which was more than most Al Bhed, if not all of the rest of them, could hope for. Not that there were too many left, after Mi'ihen and after Home burned down and ...
... dammit.
Petey mrowlred at her curiously and he was the only thing stopping her from picking up something, anything, nearby and smashing it into the wall. She couldn't do this. Okay? Other people had it worse, and great, they were stronger than she was. Because she was weak and stupid and he'd convinced her to let her feel things instead of keeping her chin up and plowing forward, and that was really great of him to do, since he turned around and skipped town.
Rikku rubbed her eyes. She was sick and tired of everything and most of all feeling like this, and she could call her friends and - what, cry all over them some more? Of course. Just what they were sitting around waiting for, she was sure of it. Some friend she was.
"Fuck it," she said softly, scooping Petey up out of her lap and ignoring his mrrr of protest. She was going ... somewhere. Caritas. Sure. The bar. And she was going to drink until she stopped thinking about this. They had plenty of liquor, didn't they?
Rikku grabbed a coat and shut the door behind her.
(nfi, establishy. broadcast and ooc both okay.)