Monday Afternoon, Room 317 - A Not-So-Cheerful Conversation With Luke
Okay, that was kinda weird, Luke not coming to class or anything. And it was a fun class, too. Was he being all avoidy on her, so she couldn't traumatize him with scary pajamas? Right, like that'd stop her.
Actually it was probably something else, like he was sick or moping. Whatever it was, it totally meant she should go and pester him. Maybe make him some soup.
Or, uh, maybe get somebody else to make him some soup, 'cause hers didn't really help with the whole sick-thing.
She knocked on his door, hoping everything was okay.
Luke
There was no sound at all from the other side for about thirty seconds.
Then there was an irritated "Ow! Dammit, Artoo!" and stomping towards the door. "Oh. Hi," Luke said, looking exhausted as he peered at Rikku.
Rikku
"Whoa," Rikku said. "Hey. Luke. You don't look so good."
Well, she was good at stating the obvious.
Luke
"Bad couple of days," he replied. "It turns out one of my father's superpowers is the ability to ruin birthdays, too."
He spat out "father" with enough force to splinter something.
Rikku
Rikku gasped. "It was your birthday?! I can't believe I missed it! You didn't tell me! We should totally have done something! I ... oh. Your father?"
She bit her lip. "Are, uh, are you guys fighting again?"
Luke
"Fighting would involve me ever talking to him again," Luke snarled, moving back to the bed and curling his arms around his legs.
Rikku
Rikku stared. After a moment, she followed him into the room, shutting the door behind her and taking a seat on the bed next to him.
"Okay, wow. That's ... kinda big, right there." She looked over at him hesitantly. "You, uh ... wanna tell me what's going on?"
Luke
"It turns out that my mother didn't die in childbirth," Luke told the floor in a small voice.
Rikku
"She didn't? You mean she ..." Her mouth fell open. "Luke. No way."
Luke
Luke curled in on himself more tightly.
Rikku
Rikku wrapped her arms around him, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. "Oh. Wow. That's ... oh, Luke."
She held onto him and wished she could find something to say.
Luke
"So yeah, bad couple of days. I screamed at Leia, too," Luke said dully. "Nice brother that I am."
Rikku
"My brother yells at me all the time," she said, not letting go. "Didn't she yell at you a couple months ago? Totally just what siblings do, yeah?"
Luke
"But I don't yell," Luke said.
Rikku
"Looks like maybe you kinda do," she said. "Just when you get super-mad. And I think this would totally count."
Luke
"She said she remembered our mother," Luke whispered. "Why would she lie about something like that?"
Rikku
Rikku considered for a moment, rubbing one hand lightly on Luke's back.
"Maybe she really wanted to believe it was true."
Luke
"Not that I really gave her a chance to explain," Luke said, leaning into Rikku. "I just yelled and disconnected."
Rikku
"Ouch," she said. "Okay, yeah, maybe that's not so good. She, uh. How do you know she wasn't ... what if she remembered somebody that took care of her, when she was little, and ... and she just thought that was your mom?"
Luke
"I don't know," Luke said. He ran a hand through his hair. "It turns out that there's a lot of things I don't know."
Rikku
"What do you know?" she said softly. "Start there."
Luke
"I know that my father..." Luke's voice broke.
"I know that he's not the man I thought he was."
Rikku
"Rikku nodded carefully. "You ... you knew at least that he did some really bad stuff. I mean. The whole ... everything you told me before."
She took a deep breath. "Luke? Did he ... did he kill your mom?"
Luke
Luke nodded.
Rikku
"Luke." Rikku squeezed, tight.
"Why ... why tell you? I mean, why now, what's the point of ..."
Luke
Luke snorted. "Oh, he didn't tell me. Rory did."
Rikku
"Rory?" Rikku thought for a minute. "They used to go out, right? When he was here before. Something about timeline stuff?"
Luke
"They were together again," Luke said, biting his lip. "Now, you know, not so much. Who would stay with someone who did that to the last woman?"
Rikku
Rikku shuddered. "That's ... that's awful. I can't imagine ..."
She bit her lip. "How ... how is she? I mean ..."
Luke
"A wreck," Luke said shortly. "She's completely shut down."
Rikku
"I don't blame her," she said softly. "But that's ... I mean, it's kinda worse for you, yeah? She's your mom."
Luke
"Yeah, maybe," Luke said. "I haven't really spent a lot of time thinking about it."
Lie. Huge lie.
Rikku
"Y-eah," Rikku said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "You seem great to me. Chipper as always."
Luke
Luke was back to staring at his knees. "I just thought that...you know...family was different for him. That he came back because I'd asked him to. Clearly that's not the case."
Rikku
"How do you know it isn't?" she asked softly.
Luke
"He killed my mother!" Luke practically shrieked. "He tortured my twin sister twice! I'm the exception to the rule and that makes no sense!"
Rikku
"Maybe you're not!" She raised her own voice insistently. "You said he didn't know it was your sister! And your mom, she was his wife, and that's different! It's still pretty messed up, yeah, but you're his son, okay?!"
Luke
"Like I really want to be his son right now!" Luke spat.
Rikku
"That's not what I meant, and you know it!" she snapped.
Luke
"What if I turn into that?" Luke wailed, finally getting to the heart of what had him so broken. "What if there wasn't anything huge and life-shattering that changed him? I thought it was because my mother died...and so he changed. But that's not how it happened! It might've been him waking up one morning and deciding to be evil! What if I become him?"
Rikku
Rikku stared for a moment. "Luke, stop it! You're not him! You're not gonna be him! Nobody just gets up in the morning and goes 'hey, wow, I'm sick of being a decent person, yay, evil!' And if that was how it happened, why would he even bother trying to be good again?!"
She bit her lip. "Besides, you're you. You ever woke up and decided you didn't care about people? Had the urge to kill 'em wholesale?"
Luke
Luke was quiet for a long moment before shaking his head. "No."
Rikku
"You really think you're gonna?" Rikku shook her head. "Look, you knew he was evil, like, crazy-evil-bad, before this. And you've never thought, gosh, that sounds like fun, right? And you're ... whoa, I don't actually know how old you are, but, uh, happy birthday! - but anyway you're that old and it's never occurred to you to wake up and go, I'm gonna shoot me some people for the hell of it. And now just 'cause you find out he's totally even worse than you thought, it's different?"
Luke
"Nineteen," Luke said absently, "and yes. I thought family was different. I thought him cutting off my hand was a mistake. Now...maybe turning back was a fluke. Maybe it had absolutely nothing to do with me."
Rikku
"Turning back isn't a fluke," she insisted. "And you were different. It doesn't matter if anyone else was. Maybe you're the only thing he loved enough not to kill. Doesn't that mean something!?"
Luke
"Nothing I want to dwell on," Luke decided, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I don't want to be what's keeping him on the side of the light. I don't want to worry that if something happens to me he's going to go on another rampage. He's the father. He gets to be the grown up this time."
Rikku
Rikku stared again, horrified by the idea that he was suggesting. "Oh, Luke. Whoa. I h-hadn't even ... I didn't ..."
If she squeezed any harder, she was going to crush some ribs.
"I'm so sorry," she said in a small voice.
Luke
"My family blows," Luke sniffled, hugging her hard.
Rikku
"It really does," she agreed, still squeezing. "It's j-just a huge mess, isn't it?"
Luke
"I don't even know how to wrap my head around it," he admitted.
Rikku
I ..." Rikku bit her lip. "I don't know that you can. I mean, not right away or as a ... wow. That's ..."
She was still holding on. "It doesn't change you, you know."
Luke
"Of course it does," Luke said. "I finally understand why the rest of the galaxy hates him. Now I hate him too."
Rikku
"... do you really mean that?" she asked softly.
Luke
He could hear Ben's words echoing in his head: don't give in to hate...
He took a deep breath, then sighed. "I don't know," he admitted.
Rikku
"It's okay," she assured him quickly. "I mean, he did something awful, and I know you're supposed to forgive and all? But ... but there are a couple people I can't, yet. I guess I'm not a very good person. If you ... if you did, I think it'd be ... understandable, yeah? I mean."
She settled her forehead against his shoulder again. "But I think you're kinda too good for that. Not that you have to be or not that you have to know right now even 'cause wow, you know? But ... but I think you are."
Luke
Luke clung harder. "Why do I always have to be the nice guy?" he whispered.
Rikku
Rikku bit her lip. "Well, there are kinda two options, yeah? Either you're the nice guy ... where it sucks for you ... or you're the bad guy ... and that makes you the bad guy. Who wants that?"
Luke
"I want another t-shirt for this," he said, finally pulling back a little and giving Rikku a watery smile.
Rikku
"Totally," Rikku said, smiling back wryly. "We can make you a special shirt, like, one the rest of us don't get to have. I might even let you be vice-president after all."
Luke
Luke leaned in and gave her a shy kiss on the cheek. "Thanks."
Rikku
"I don't know if I did much," Rikku said with a shrug. "But if I did, then I'm glad I did, yeah?"
She tilted her head at him. "You, uh, you need some ice cream? Slumber party? Wanna get hopped up on sugar and caffeine and freak people out again?"
Luke
"Maybe another time," Luke said with a tired smile. "I'm not quite up for people yet."
Rikku
Rikku nodded. "Free-floating offer," she said quickly. "Doesn't gotta be now or anything, I mean. I, uh, I'm just ... you know. We're here. Me and Dawn and everyone else. Yeah?"
Luke
"Yeah," Luke said. "And that means more than...it means a lot. To have people who kind of get this."
Rikku
"Yeah. I mean. It, uh, it sucks that other people do, 'cause it means more of us have ... you know ... but ... but it helps, too. That's the whole point of the club, right?" Rikku smiled wistfully. "I mean, besides the sweet t-shirts. But those are totally a red herring."
Luke
"What does fish have to do with anything?" Luke asked.
Rikku
Rikku blinked at him. "Red ... a red herring? You know, the whole, it's a fake clue and I'm being sneaky and psyching you out, thing? It's a fish 'cause ..."
Now she was staring off into the distance. "Huh. I got no clue on that one."
Luke
"Language is weird," Luke said. "There's a culture back home who curses using food. 'May all your dishes be spoiled and improperly spiced,' stuff like that."
Rikku
Rikku laughed. "I'm gonna have to remember that! Next time I'm really ticked at somebody and I don't have a good curse at hand. 'Oh, yeah? Well, I hope your next sandwich has moldy bread.'"
Luke
"It's very effective," Luke said. "And the 'huh?' expression on their face is priceless."
He gave Rikku a very small smile. "Thanks."
Rikku
"I'm so gonna try that," she grinned. "Or maybe start making them up. 'I hope you leave a red sock in with your whites and your laundry turns pink, you jerk.'"
She smiled back. "Yeah. Any time, you know?"
Luke
"I know," Luke said, giving her another hug. "I promise to come out of my room soon."
Rikku
"You don't have to," Rikku said softly, not letting go. "I, uh, w-when Hamlet ... I stayed in bed for two days. Just kinda wasn't up to facing the world, you know?"
She bit her lip. "I mean ... if ... if you need to sit in here for a bit, that's okay. I'll stop in and check on you, yeah? Unless that gets annoying and then you can totally tell me to get lost."
Luke
"I'm not going to tell you to get lost," Luke said softly. "Besides, I blow things up tomorrow in class. That's gotta be cathartic."
Rikku
"Explosives are always good," she said, nodding. "Remind me to tell you about the trip Mel and I took to Florida. Heck, if you ever want to go out into the Preserve and blow some things up, I mean, I have bombs."
She squeezed him again. "And you're totally free to tell me to get lost any time I get annoying. Promise."
Luke
"I definitely will," Luke promised, covering a yawn with his hand. "Now I think I'm going to catch a nap if you don't mind? I haven't exactly slept since Rory told me about this."
Rikku
Rikku bit her lip. "You haven't? Oh, wow. No. Sleep. I'll take off, and ... you need anything, come find me, yeah? You know where I am."
She stood up quickly, giving Artoo a nod. "You ... you're gonna watch out for him, yeah?"
Luke
Artoo let out a cheerful little burble and moved closer to the bed.
Luke gave him a fond smile. "I'll see you soon, Rikku. Thanks again."
Rikku
She stood in the doorway for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. Not a problem. Take care, okay?"
She shut the door and walked back to her room, hoping Luke would be able to get some sleep.
[OOC: Preplayed with the awesome and afk tatooine_doofus, who also coded this, whee! That Rikku and Luke talked is up for broadcast, the topic, not so much. NFI, OOC comments are love, void where prohibited, etc., etc.]
Actually it was probably something else, like he was sick or moping. Whatever it was, it totally meant she should go and pester him. Maybe make him some soup.
Or, uh, maybe get somebody else to make him some soup, 'cause hers didn't really help with the whole sick-thing.
She knocked on his door, hoping everything was okay.
Luke
There was no sound at all from the other side for about thirty seconds.
Then there was an irritated "Ow! Dammit, Artoo!" and stomping towards the door. "Oh. Hi," Luke said, looking exhausted as he peered at Rikku.
Rikku
"Whoa," Rikku said. "Hey. Luke. You don't look so good."
Well, she was good at stating the obvious.
Luke
"Bad couple of days," he replied. "It turns out one of my father's superpowers is the ability to ruin birthdays, too."
He spat out "father" with enough force to splinter something.
Rikku
Rikku gasped. "It was your birthday?! I can't believe I missed it! You didn't tell me! We should totally have done something! I ... oh. Your father?"
She bit her lip. "Are, uh, are you guys fighting again?"
Luke
"Fighting would involve me ever talking to him again," Luke snarled, moving back to the bed and curling his arms around his legs.
Rikku
Rikku stared. After a moment, she followed him into the room, shutting the door behind her and taking a seat on the bed next to him.
"Okay, wow. That's ... kinda big, right there." She looked over at him hesitantly. "You, uh ... wanna tell me what's going on?"
Luke
"It turns out that my mother didn't die in childbirth," Luke told the floor in a small voice.
Rikku
"She didn't? You mean she ..." Her mouth fell open. "Luke. No way."
Luke
Luke curled in on himself more tightly.
Rikku
Rikku wrapped her arms around him, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. "Oh. Wow. That's ... oh, Luke."
She held onto him and wished she could find something to say.
Luke
"So yeah, bad couple of days. I screamed at Leia, too," Luke said dully. "Nice brother that I am."
Rikku
"My brother yells at me all the time," she said, not letting go. "Didn't she yell at you a couple months ago? Totally just what siblings do, yeah?"
Luke
"But I don't yell," Luke said.
Rikku
"Looks like maybe you kinda do," she said. "Just when you get super-mad. And I think this would totally count."
Luke
"She said she remembered our mother," Luke whispered. "Why would she lie about something like that?"
Rikku
Rikku considered for a moment, rubbing one hand lightly on Luke's back.
"Maybe she really wanted to believe it was true."
Luke
"Not that I really gave her a chance to explain," Luke said, leaning into Rikku. "I just yelled and disconnected."
Rikku
"Ouch," she said. "Okay, yeah, maybe that's not so good. She, uh. How do you know she wasn't ... what if she remembered somebody that took care of her, when she was little, and ... and she just thought that was your mom?"
Luke
"I don't know," Luke said. He ran a hand through his hair. "It turns out that there's a lot of things I don't know."
Rikku
"What do you know?" she said softly. "Start there."
Luke
"I know that my father..." Luke's voice broke.
"I know that he's not the man I thought he was."
Rikku
"Rikku nodded carefully. "You ... you knew at least that he did some really bad stuff. I mean. The whole ... everything you told me before."
She took a deep breath. "Luke? Did he ... did he kill your mom?"
Luke
Luke nodded.
Rikku
"Luke." Rikku squeezed, tight.
"Why ... why tell you? I mean, why now, what's the point of ..."
Luke
Luke snorted. "Oh, he didn't tell me. Rory did."
Rikku
"Rory?" Rikku thought for a minute. "They used to go out, right? When he was here before. Something about timeline stuff?"
Luke
"They were together again," Luke said, biting his lip. "Now, you know, not so much. Who would stay with someone who did that to the last woman?"
Rikku
Rikku shuddered. "That's ... that's awful. I can't imagine ..."
She bit her lip. "How ... how is she? I mean ..."
Luke
"A wreck," Luke said shortly. "She's completely shut down."
Rikku
"I don't blame her," she said softly. "But that's ... I mean, it's kinda worse for you, yeah? She's your mom."
Luke
"Yeah, maybe," Luke said. "I haven't really spent a lot of time thinking about it."
Lie. Huge lie.
Rikku
"Y-eah," Rikku said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "You seem great to me. Chipper as always."
Luke
Luke was back to staring at his knees. "I just thought that...you know...family was different for him. That he came back because I'd asked him to. Clearly that's not the case."
Rikku
"How do you know it isn't?" she asked softly.
Luke
"He killed my mother!" Luke practically shrieked. "He tortured my twin sister twice! I'm the exception to the rule and that makes no sense!"
Rikku
"Maybe you're not!" She raised her own voice insistently. "You said he didn't know it was your sister! And your mom, she was his wife, and that's different! It's still pretty messed up, yeah, but you're his son, okay?!"
Luke
"Like I really want to be his son right now!" Luke spat.
Rikku
"That's not what I meant, and you know it!" she snapped.
Luke
"What if I turn into that?" Luke wailed, finally getting to the heart of what had him so broken. "What if there wasn't anything huge and life-shattering that changed him? I thought it was because my mother died...and so he changed. But that's not how it happened! It might've been him waking up one morning and deciding to be evil! What if I become him?"
Rikku
Rikku stared for a moment. "Luke, stop it! You're not him! You're not gonna be him! Nobody just gets up in the morning and goes 'hey, wow, I'm sick of being a decent person, yay, evil!' And if that was how it happened, why would he even bother trying to be good again?!"
She bit her lip. "Besides, you're you. You ever woke up and decided you didn't care about people? Had the urge to kill 'em wholesale?"
Luke
Luke was quiet for a long moment before shaking his head. "No."
Rikku
"You really think you're gonna?" Rikku shook her head. "Look, you knew he was evil, like, crazy-evil-bad, before this. And you've never thought, gosh, that sounds like fun, right? And you're ... whoa, I don't actually know how old you are, but, uh, happy birthday! - but anyway you're that old and it's never occurred to you to wake up and go, I'm gonna shoot me some people for the hell of it. And now just 'cause you find out he's totally even worse than you thought, it's different?"
Luke
"Nineteen," Luke said absently, "and yes. I thought family was different. I thought him cutting off my hand was a mistake. Now...maybe turning back was a fluke. Maybe it had absolutely nothing to do with me."
Rikku
"Turning back isn't a fluke," she insisted. "And you were different. It doesn't matter if anyone else was. Maybe you're the only thing he loved enough not to kill. Doesn't that mean something!?"
Luke
"Nothing I want to dwell on," Luke decided, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I don't want to be what's keeping him on the side of the light. I don't want to worry that if something happens to me he's going to go on another rampage. He's the father. He gets to be the grown up this time."
Rikku
Rikku stared again, horrified by the idea that he was suggesting. "Oh, Luke. Whoa. I h-hadn't even ... I didn't ..."
If she squeezed any harder, she was going to crush some ribs.
"I'm so sorry," she said in a small voice.
Luke
"My family blows," Luke sniffled, hugging her hard.
Rikku
"It really does," she agreed, still squeezing. "It's j-just a huge mess, isn't it?"
Luke
"I don't even know how to wrap my head around it," he admitted.
Rikku
I ..." Rikku bit her lip. "I don't know that you can. I mean, not right away or as a ... wow. That's ..."
She was still holding on. "It doesn't change you, you know."
Luke
"Of course it does," Luke said. "I finally understand why the rest of the galaxy hates him. Now I hate him too."
Rikku
"... do you really mean that?" she asked softly.
Luke
He could hear Ben's words echoing in his head: don't give in to hate...
He took a deep breath, then sighed. "I don't know," he admitted.
Rikku
"It's okay," she assured him quickly. "I mean, he did something awful, and I know you're supposed to forgive and all? But ... but there are a couple people I can't, yet. I guess I'm not a very good person. If you ... if you did, I think it'd be ... understandable, yeah? I mean."
She settled her forehead against his shoulder again. "But I think you're kinda too good for that. Not that you have to be or not that you have to know right now even 'cause wow, you know? But ... but I think you are."
Luke
Luke clung harder. "Why do I always have to be the nice guy?" he whispered.
Rikku
Rikku bit her lip. "Well, there are kinda two options, yeah? Either you're the nice guy ... where it sucks for you ... or you're the bad guy ... and that makes you the bad guy. Who wants that?"
Luke
"I want another t-shirt for this," he said, finally pulling back a little and giving Rikku a watery smile.
Rikku
"Totally," Rikku said, smiling back wryly. "We can make you a special shirt, like, one the rest of us don't get to have. I might even let you be vice-president after all."
Luke
Luke leaned in and gave her a shy kiss on the cheek. "Thanks."
Rikku
"I don't know if I did much," Rikku said with a shrug. "But if I did, then I'm glad I did, yeah?"
She tilted her head at him. "You, uh, you need some ice cream? Slumber party? Wanna get hopped up on sugar and caffeine and freak people out again?"
Luke
"Maybe another time," Luke said with a tired smile. "I'm not quite up for people yet."
Rikku
Rikku nodded. "Free-floating offer," she said quickly. "Doesn't gotta be now or anything, I mean. I, uh, I'm just ... you know. We're here. Me and Dawn and everyone else. Yeah?"
Luke
"Yeah," Luke said. "And that means more than...it means a lot. To have people who kind of get this."
Rikku
"Yeah. I mean. It, uh, it sucks that other people do, 'cause it means more of us have ... you know ... but ... but it helps, too. That's the whole point of the club, right?" Rikku smiled wistfully. "I mean, besides the sweet t-shirts. But those are totally a red herring."
Luke
"What does fish have to do with anything?" Luke asked.
Rikku
Rikku blinked at him. "Red ... a red herring? You know, the whole, it's a fake clue and I'm being sneaky and psyching you out, thing? It's a fish 'cause ..."
Now she was staring off into the distance. "Huh. I got no clue on that one."
Luke
"Language is weird," Luke said. "There's a culture back home who curses using food. 'May all your dishes be spoiled and improperly spiced,' stuff like that."
Rikku
Rikku laughed. "I'm gonna have to remember that! Next time I'm really ticked at somebody and I don't have a good curse at hand. 'Oh, yeah? Well, I hope your next sandwich has moldy bread.'"
Luke
"It's very effective," Luke said. "And the 'huh?' expression on their face is priceless."
He gave Rikku a very small smile. "Thanks."
Rikku
"I'm so gonna try that," she grinned. "Or maybe start making them up. 'I hope you leave a red sock in with your whites and your laundry turns pink, you jerk.'"
She smiled back. "Yeah. Any time, you know?"
Luke
"I know," Luke said, giving her another hug. "I promise to come out of my room soon."
Rikku
"You don't have to," Rikku said softly, not letting go. "I, uh, w-when Hamlet ... I stayed in bed for two days. Just kinda wasn't up to facing the world, you know?"
She bit her lip. "I mean ... if ... if you need to sit in here for a bit, that's okay. I'll stop in and check on you, yeah? Unless that gets annoying and then you can totally tell me to get lost."
Luke
"I'm not going to tell you to get lost," Luke said softly. "Besides, I blow things up tomorrow in class. That's gotta be cathartic."
Rikku
"Explosives are always good," she said, nodding. "Remind me to tell you about the trip Mel and I took to Florida. Heck, if you ever want to go out into the Preserve and blow some things up, I mean, I have bombs."
She squeezed him again. "And you're totally free to tell me to get lost any time I get annoying. Promise."
Luke
"I definitely will," Luke promised, covering a yawn with his hand. "Now I think I'm going to catch a nap if you don't mind? I haven't exactly slept since Rory told me about this."
Rikku
Rikku bit her lip. "You haven't? Oh, wow. No. Sleep. I'll take off, and ... you need anything, come find me, yeah? You know where I am."
She stood up quickly, giving Artoo a nod. "You ... you're gonna watch out for him, yeah?"
Luke
Artoo let out a cheerful little burble and moved closer to the bed.
Luke gave him a fond smile. "I'll see you soon, Rikku. Thanks again."
Rikku
She stood in the doorway for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. Not a problem. Take care, okay?"
She shut the door and walked back to her room, hoping Luke would be able to get some sleep.
[OOC: Preplayed with the awesome and afk tatooine_doofus, who also coded this, whee! That Rikku and Luke talked is up for broadcast, the topic, not so much. NFI, OOC comments are love, void where prohibited, etc., etc.]