Hermione returned to the room with a bag full of things. Most notably, two coconuts, which immediately set her off muttering to herself that two would be overkill.
"Detention?!" Rikku gasped. "Hermione! You never get detention! Are you serious?! And yeah, she came to Aly's class on spying and she said awful things about how the class was inappropriate and she totally acted like she was gonna make her stop teaching and what the hell, isn't she a sub!? Isn't she just supposed to make sure nothing else blows up!??"
"Have you listened to her announcements? She doesn't think of herself as a substitute. She views herself as Principal Washburn's replacement," Hermione said. "I knew she was going to go for that class. She refused to let people do any spells in Defense Against the Dark Arts last year. In an O.W.L.S year! Harry sent me his text. It's rubbish. I haven't been able to get rid of it. If it's not strictly standard, it's not for her."
Rikku shook her head. "I just heard the one this morning, about co-ed rooms. Maybe she's worried people are gonna freak out? I, uh, I kinda missed ... has she been doing other stuff, while I was gone? And that's ridiculous, Principal Washburn will be back as soon as the baby's a little older, right?"
She blinked at Hermione, confused. "Wait a minute. Defense Against ... that's ... that's a protective kinda class, right? That's not ..."
"Yes, exactly. Harry started a sort of club to teach people what they needed to learn, because they weren't going to get it in school," Hermione said with an eyeroll. "Umbridge also tried to limit what people said over radio, and made a public announcement that I am a bit disturbed and should not be listened to. Luckily most people seem to know better and are offering help."
And jumped up angrily. "She called you names?! That ... that witch! That's so wrong! You're, like, the best student ever and she's gonna start a war with you then we are so gonna fight back! Is she trying to mess with you? Because I will hurt her!"
"No, don't actually try to hurt her," she said quickly. "She'll throw you in detention or hex you, and you really don't want either. I'm honesly not bothered by it. It just means she's afraid people will actually listen to what I have to say, and everyone's been fine towards me so far." She hadn't know what was up with Andrew, no.
She paused. "Hopefully she'll be going before she can affect any of my actual grades."
"Nobody's believing it, are they?" She made a frustrated noise. "You're Hermione. I mean, if someone said I was crazy, well, duh, I act it. But you're all stable and smart and you do extra credit and ... who in the world would believe that!?"
Rikku thought for a few minutes. "Well, I mean, workshops are just summer, right? Grades don't happen again until fall's over, and the baby will be, I mean, I didn't think she was gonna be gone that long, yeah?"
"I don't think Umbridge is planning on letting Principal Washburn come back," Hermione said, and added matter-of-factly, "So I'm trying to create a hostile environment that she can't fix so she'll want to leave."
"I'm in," Rikku nodded quickly. "I mean, if you want my help, and if you think I can help. But I'm totally world-class at being annoying. How do we do this?"
"This," she said, holding up one of the coconuts, "you haven't seen. She'll know it's me, no sense in anyone else getting into trouble for it. I've gotten some ideas, and I know quite a few people who are willing to help, and would you happen to know how to disable security equipment without damaging it?"
Rikku grinned eagerly. "Totally. I mean, at least, I'd need to see it first, to be sure? But I bet I could. And I've got lockpicks and smokebombs and other goodies for ... ooooh, do you want a few of those? Just to have in case you need to make a quick getaway?"
She scratched her head, thinking. "And, uh, what's gonna be annoying, like, day-to-day? Should I go to her office and play dumb?"
"They couldn't hurt," Hermione said. "A lot of things I can do by magic, but I'd also like to make it look as if it's not just me doing it. Fake a united front and all. She's not a fan of centaurs, Harry's name got a reaction out of her... Anything that goes against the rules will bother her. You might get punished, though."
Hermione was past caring about punishment on this front, but she felt it only fair to warn others.
"Yevon tried to execute me," Rikku said cheerfully. "I don't intimidate easily. And detention here's pretty fun, anyway."
"I don't think you're gonna have to fake a united front. I mean ... it's not just you. You know that, right?" She smiled encouragingly. "One for all, and all for getting detention and creeping out the scary pink lady."
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She wrinkled her nose. "I met that Um-whoever today, in class. She's just mean, isn't she?"
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She blinked at Hermione, confused. "Wait a minute. Defense Against ... that's ... that's a protective kinda class, right? That's not ..."
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And jumped up angrily. "She called you names?! That ... that witch! That's so wrong! You're, like, the best student ever and she's gonna start a war with you then we are so gonna fight back! Is she trying to mess with you? Because I will hurt her!"
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She paused. "Hopefully she'll be going before she can affect any of my actual grades."
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Rikku thought for a few minutes. "Well, I mean, workshops are just summer, right? Grades don't happen again until fall's over, and the baby will be, I mean, I didn't think she was gonna be gone that long, yeah?"
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Hence the coconuts.
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She scratched her head, thinking. "And, uh, what's gonna be annoying, like, day-to-day? Should I go to her office and play dumb?"
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Hermione was past caring about punishment on this front, but she felt it only fair to warn others.
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"I don't think you're gonna have to fake a united front. I mean ... it's not just you. You know that, right?" She smiled encouragingly. "One for all, and all for getting detention and creeping out the scary pink lady."
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