Room 308, Sunday evening, Post-Road Trip
The boy-shaped lump sitting next to the door of room 308 looked like it could have been a gargoyle, so still. Jude hadn't moved far in the last twenty-four hours. He didn't know when she was getting back, didn't want to chance going back to his room even to sleep. His eyes, hidden though they were, were bloodshot and baggy. He sat with his knees curled up to his chest and his forehead resting against them. She had to be getting back soon, right? Right?
Okay, so they had totally returned the car, right? Right! Most of it was back! Entire chunks of it were totally back. Besides, Deadpool loved her and wasn't going to dismember her and leave her body in the woods. Probably.
Totally Jamie Madrox who stole that car.
A slightly more tan and not very well rested Al Bhed girl was wandering down the third floor hallway, sans her usual bounce, when she noticed a ... oh.
Oh. A Jude-shaped lump next to her door.
She stopped, thinking, and then cleared her throat. "Hey there."
Jude's head snapped up immediately, his eyes fluttering open. "Hey." He didn't mean for it to come out as a hoarse croak, but somehow it did, and he quickly cleared it.
"Hi," she said softly, biting her lip. She readjusted the strap of the duffel bag on her arm. "I, uh, I'm back." She gestured a little vaguely.
'You look tired' was one possibility. 'You look beautiful' was definitely a front-runner here. 'I love you', probably should have gone out there. Intelligently, the only thing that came out was, "Where were you?"
Rikku drew herself up a little, taken aback. Was he angry? Scared? Hurt? Great. This was all her fault. And his. And Caitlin's. And did he even know about that?
What a mess.
"Florida. Mel and I ... she said let's go on a road trip and I kinda ..." She was still chewing on her lower lip. "I l-left you a message."
"I got it." He unfolded himself to his feet, his shoulders hunched. "I was really worried."
Rikku fussed with her hair, fidgeting. "Oh. I'm ... I'm fine. Think we totalled Deadpool's car, though."
Jude nodded, his eyes dropping to the floor. Still so many things to say and still he couldn't say any of them.
Rikku shifted the duffel bag again and wished she could read that expression of his. Or say something that meant something, anything, yell or scream or cry or skip all that and hug him, except she couldn't yet, not if he was ... was that why he looked so sad? So guilty?
Why was she questioning things when she thought she knew?
"H-how ..." She cleared her throat again. "How about you?"
"I was waiting for you to come back." Yes, that summed up his entire weekend. If he blurted 'I love you' now, she wouldn't believe him. If he waited, she'd be hurt. So he started a hundred sentences and let them all die in a stutter.
Rikku nodded quickly. "Y-yeah. That's. I, uh." Why wasn't he saying anything about ...
"I just wanted to be away for a little bit," she said, not looking up. "Get out of town and kinda think about some things."
"I talked to Caitlin," he blurted suddenly. "Y-yelled at her."
Rikku looked up suddenly. "Oh. Oh. Y-yeah. That's ... I ... s-sorry, I mean, I didn't m-mean to ..." She shrugged awkwardly, not entirely sure what she was apologizing for.
"I didn't . . . she shouldn't've done that."
"Yeah," Rikku said softly. "Yeah, she, uh." She shrugged awkwardly, not quite looking at him.
"Yeah," he agreed just as quietly. "I didn't . . . I didn't tell her to do that, or anything."
"Yeah." She reached up to adjust her ponytail, because that meant she could do something with her hands that wasn't obvious fidgeting. "I f-figured. I mean ... yeah."
Jude was quiet for another long moment, and then he couldn't hold it back any long. "I love you," he blurted. "You - you know that, right?"
"Y-yeah," she said quickly, and her tone wavered. She gave an awkward shrug, still not looking at him exactly. "O-of course I do."
She stepped past him, putting her hand on her doorknob. "I, uh ..."
"I was waiting for you to come back," he blurted, probably repeating himself. "So I could say that." He didn't stop her from going into her room. He just really hoped she wouldn't.
Rikku nodded quickly. A lot. And wasn't sure why her eyes were tearing up and and and
"I'm ... yeah, that's ... I m-mean ..." She looked over sort of in his direction and gestured vaguely. "It's ... I, uh, j-just, I think I'm ... t-tired? We blew up the car and j-just got in, and ..."
She pinched the top of her nose and took a deep shivery sort of breath. "W-w-we can ... t-talk and all that l-later, right? I'm ... just, you know. R-really ... tired, and I need to put my, uh, stuff ... away?"
"Okay," he said quietly, and it was the saddest kind of 'okay' that could be said.
"Y-yeah," she managed, voice almost breaking. She fumbled with the doorknob because if she didn't get into her room now she was going to start crying in the stupid hallway.
"I - I'll see you later?" His heart was in the question.
"Yeah," she said quickly, voice catching. "Y-y-you work tomorrow, right? M-maybe I'll stop in, s-say hi?"
Tomorrow. "O-okay." He turned away.
"Okay," she said.
It wasn't.
At least Rikku made it into her room before she had to put a hand over her eyes and shake.
Jude made it back to his room in a daze. He couldn't think of where else to turn, even though it was his fault this whole thing had happened. So Jude called Jonesy.
And then Jonesy, in a show of the supreme best-bud sacrifice, buried his own pride and called Rikku.
Rikku had managed to set her bag down and sit down on her bed and cry, because that was productive and hadn't she said she was going to ... dammit. Not the phone again ...
She answered it warily, sounding way more subdued than her usual. "H-hello?"
"Rikku?" It was the same voice, but it didn't have the sly, winking, uber-suave tone it usually did.
"... Jonesy?" Great.
Rikku blew out a breath and decided not to answer her phone any more.
"Yeah." There was a pause. "H-how are you?"
"I, uh," Rikku rubbed at her eyes. "I'm k-kinda ... I just got back from this trip k-kinda thing, so, uh ... I'm really tired. C-can this wait?"
"No, it can't. Jude's really broken up over this, you know."
Rikku's voice wavered. "Look, if you're gonna yell or whatever, then fine, can you just get it overwith so I can go, please? 'Cause I r-really can't ..."
"He already did enough yelling for all of us."
"Oh." She swallowed, hard. "I'm ... I'm sorry. I ... didn't mean to ... you know."
"Look. I don't know what Caitlin said to you, but you got it wrong. Jude called me, yeah, but he told me not to tell them. I don't know what you did to our Jude, but he's totally in love with you. He never wanted to hurt you."
"Oh." She sat for a minute with her eyes closed. "Y-yeah. I mean, I g-get that, I didn't ... I know he w-wouldn't, it's not ... I can't ..."
She took a deep breath. "Yeah. Okay."
"Are you guys going to be okay? I know it's none of our business, but . . . he's like our brother, you know? And whatever you two do . . . just don't hurt him? Please." His tone was kind of wry and kind, not accusing like Caitlin had been.
"I, uh, I d-don't ... I mean, I saw him, yeah? W-when I got back, he was ... oh, he p-probably told you that." She nodded quickly. "I ... I'm sure we, uh ..."
She was not going to cry on the phone to Jonesy. She was not.
"I can't just ... I'm ... I'm scared, okay?"
"Hey, bra, I know," he said gently. He said 'bra', but the tone was different than Jude's - it would always be Jude's phrase. "But don't go too hard on the guy, okay? He really loves you."
"He ... he does?" Rikku made a frustrated noise. "This is ... I know he does, I don't know why I'm ... except I do, 'cause that's why it's ... and ..."
She took another shaky breath. "Can I ... do you w-wanna know what's ... what's going on?"
"Of course I do! Man, I am so proud of Jude - but he won't tell me any of the really good stuff."
"Not like that!" Rikku considered throwing the phone again. "Ugh, never mind, that's exactly why I ... it isn't like that, don't you get it?!"
"I do," he said ruefully. "I'm just jealous."
"Why, because he totally scored some?" Rikku said bitterly. "Or you do get it, and you're ... because he ... because ... do you have any idea how terrifying it is to think that he's just been ..."
She took a deep breath, twisting the phone cord around her fingers, and ... the hell with it. "Jonesy? A ... a friend of mine just died."
Jonesy was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry," he said finally, awkwardly.
"It's okay," she said quickly. "I didn't mean that as ... I'm all right. It's fine. Just, uh."
She bit her lip. "Jude sort of ... he ... he kept me in one piece, you know? Or maybe I wasn't in one piece, but it was okay that I wasn't. I didn't ... I didn't realize how m-much I ... what he meant to me. I mean, I knew it was a lot, I knew I l-loved him, just ..."
This was all coming out wrong.
"That's why I'm jealous," Jonesy said quietly. "I can pick up the girl, but he can keep his. I've never seen him like this. He really, really loves you."
"You ... I thought you and Nikki ..." Rikku bit her lip. "I-I'm sorry?"
She took a deep breath. "It's just that ... that's when things started getting more ... I don't know, i-intense? I mean, they would have anyway, it's just, everything seemed different, I mean, I thought it did, and if it was just a thing to him, like, hey, awesome, I totally -- you know!? And to have her call me and ... and act like I'm some kind of whore ..."
She nearly spit the last word out.
"Hey, I don't know what happened! Like I said, Jude wouldn't tell me anything - you know he's like, way too polite and respectful for that. Caitlin calling you is my fault, not Jude's."
"It's your fault that she's some insane bitch who can't keep her nose to herself? It's your fault that he ..." She made a frustrated noise. "Look, fine, guys brag, great, I get it. But he tells some girl that he knows is gonna freak out at me? He didn't even warn me, and oh, here, have her phone number, in case you wanna tell her what a tramp she is!"
"No! Look, it was just a joke. Jude was being all dorky so I changed his ringtone to 'Sex Machine' in, like, celebration. When he calle me, Caitlin overheard and wigged out, totally took it the wrong way, and then did some weird hacking into his cellphone thing to get your number. Jude never told her anything."
"'Sex Machine'?" Rikku asked. Having not discovered 70s funk yet, sadly. "Okay, first of all, then this Caitlin girl is crazy, because hello, who does she think she is? Is she some kind of ex that he forgot to tell me about? Why is it her business and why not talk to him instead of ..."
She took a deep breath. "Look, Caitlin's ... not even the point. Just that, you know, the whole time she's ranting about me using him or whatever, and hey, okay, you say he never told her what was going on. But the whole, 'I love her, she loves me, we have something special, la la la' ..." Her voice was smaller now. "I guess he never told her any of that, either."
"He did. Caitlin just wasn't listening." He sounded apologetic. "She thinks she lives in a soap opera sometimes."
"So ... you, you mean this is all just ..." Rikku closed her eyes, her tone dropping from hopeful back to bitter again. "Except you're his best friend, even if it was his fault, wouldn't you just ..."
"Say whatever I had to? Yeah, I probably would. But I'm not. Look, he doesn't know I'm calling. And you don't have to do anything. I just want you to know that it wasn't his fault."
Of course it wasn't his fault. She should have known that. Right? Because it was Jude, and she knew him, or thought she did, and why the hell was she questioning that over a stupid phone call, when he was ...
"He was sitting here," she said softly. "When I got in. N-next to my door. Like he'd been there a couple hours, just waiting, and I ..."
"He told me. He said he was there since he got off work, whenever that was."
Rikku shook her head. "He usually works Saturdays, not Sundays. I wonder if he had to take someone's shift."
"Don't think so." Jonesy was quiet for a moment. "So . . . what are you going to do?"
"You ..." Rikku gasped. "You ... you mean he ..."
Oh, Jude.
She jumped up, a knife twisting in her stomach, and nearly tripped over the phone. "I-I gotta go," she said quickly, untangling the cord from around her legs.
"He said something about going to some bar, Carrot-top or something," Jonesy said quickly. "Good luck, bra."
"Carrot-- OH." She nodded quickly. "Right! Okay. Yeah. Totally. Thanks."
She had already slammed the phone down when she realized that she hadn't thanked him for any of the rest of it, and she didn't know if she even knew his number, and -- oh, the hell with it.
Rikku tore out of 308 without a backwards glance.
(ooc: preplayed with dude_its_jude/establishy/nfi)
Okay, so they had totally returned the car, right? Right! Most of it was back! Entire chunks of it were totally back. Besides, Deadpool loved her and wasn't going to dismember her and leave her body in the woods. Probably.
Totally Jamie Madrox who stole that car.
A slightly more tan and not very well rested Al Bhed girl was wandering down the third floor hallway, sans her usual bounce, when she noticed a ... oh.
Oh. A Jude-shaped lump next to her door.
She stopped, thinking, and then cleared her throat. "Hey there."
Jude's head snapped up immediately, his eyes fluttering open. "Hey." He didn't mean for it to come out as a hoarse croak, but somehow it did, and he quickly cleared it.
"Hi," she said softly, biting her lip. She readjusted the strap of the duffel bag on her arm. "I, uh, I'm back." She gestured a little vaguely.
'You look tired' was one possibility. 'You look beautiful' was definitely a front-runner here. 'I love you', probably should have gone out there. Intelligently, the only thing that came out was, "Where were you?"
Rikku drew herself up a little, taken aback. Was he angry? Scared? Hurt? Great. This was all her fault. And his. And Caitlin's. And did he even know about that?
What a mess.
"Florida. Mel and I ... she said let's go on a road trip and I kinda ..." She was still chewing on her lower lip. "I l-left you a message."
"I got it." He unfolded himself to his feet, his shoulders hunched. "I was really worried."
Rikku fussed with her hair, fidgeting. "Oh. I'm ... I'm fine. Think we totalled Deadpool's car, though."
Jude nodded, his eyes dropping to the floor. Still so many things to say and still he couldn't say any of them.
Rikku shifted the duffel bag again and wished she could read that expression of his. Or say something that meant something, anything, yell or scream or cry or skip all that and hug him, except she couldn't yet, not if he was ... was that why he looked so sad? So guilty?
Why was she questioning things when she thought she knew?
"H-how ..." She cleared her throat again. "How about you?"
"I was waiting for you to come back." Yes, that summed up his entire weekend. If he blurted 'I love you' now, she wouldn't believe him. If he waited, she'd be hurt. So he started a hundred sentences and let them all die in a stutter.
Rikku nodded quickly. "Y-yeah. That's. I, uh." Why wasn't he saying anything about ...
"I just wanted to be away for a little bit," she said, not looking up. "Get out of town and kinda think about some things."
"I talked to Caitlin," he blurted suddenly. "Y-yelled at her."
Rikku looked up suddenly. "Oh. Oh. Y-yeah. That's ... I ... s-sorry, I mean, I didn't m-mean to ..." She shrugged awkwardly, not entirely sure what she was apologizing for.
"I didn't . . . she shouldn't've done that."
"Yeah," Rikku said softly. "Yeah, she, uh." She shrugged awkwardly, not quite looking at him.
"Yeah," he agreed just as quietly. "I didn't . . . I didn't tell her to do that, or anything."
"Yeah." She reached up to adjust her ponytail, because that meant she could do something with her hands that wasn't obvious fidgeting. "I f-figured. I mean ... yeah."
Jude was quiet for another long moment, and then he couldn't hold it back any long. "I love you," he blurted. "You - you know that, right?"
"Y-yeah," she said quickly, and her tone wavered. She gave an awkward shrug, still not looking at him exactly. "O-of course I do."
She stepped past him, putting her hand on her doorknob. "I, uh ..."
"I was waiting for you to come back," he blurted, probably repeating himself. "So I could say that." He didn't stop her from going into her room. He just really hoped she wouldn't.
Rikku nodded quickly. A lot. And wasn't sure why her eyes were tearing up and and and
"I'm ... yeah, that's ... I m-mean ..." She looked over sort of in his direction and gestured vaguely. "It's ... I, uh, j-just, I think I'm ... t-tired? We blew up the car and j-just got in, and ..."
She pinched the top of her nose and took a deep shivery sort of breath. "W-w-we can ... t-talk and all that l-later, right? I'm ... just, you know. R-really ... tired, and I need to put my, uh, stuff ... away?"
"Okay," he said quietly, and it was the saddest kind of 'okay' that could be said.
"Y-yeah," she managed, voice almost breaking. She fumbled with the doorknob because if she didn't get into her room now she was going to start crying in the stupid hallway.
"I - I'll see you later?" His heart was in the question.
"Yeah," she said quickly, voice catching. "Y-y-you work tomorrow, right? M-maybe I'll stop in, s-say hi?"
Tomorrow. "O-okay." He turned away.
"Okay," she said.
It wasn't.
At least Rikku made it into her room before she had to put a hand over her eyes and shake.
Jude made it back to his room in a daze. He couldn't think of where else to turn, even though it was his fault this whole thing had happened. So Jude called Jonesy.
And then Jonesy, in a show of the supreme best-bud sacrifice, buried his own pride and called Rikku.
Rikku had managed to set her bag down and sit down on her bed and cry, because that was productive and hadn't she said she was going to ... dammit. Not the phone again ...
She answered it warily, sounding way more subdued than her usual. "H-hello?"
"Rikku?" It was the same voice, but it didn't have the sly, winking, uber-suave tone it usually did.
"... Jonesy?" Great.
Rikku blew out a breath and decided not to answer her phone any more.
"Yeah." There was a pause. "H-how are you?"
"I, uh," Rikku rubbed at her eyes. "I'm k-kinda ... I just got back from this trip k-kinda thing, so, uh ... I'm really tired. C-can this wait?"
"No, it can't. Jude's really broken up over this, you know."
Rikku's voice wavered. "Look, if you're gonna yell or whatever, then fine, can you just get it overwith so I can go, please? 'Cause I r-really can't ..."
"He already did enough yelling for all of us."
"Oh." She swallowed, hard. "I'm ... I'm sorry. I ... didn't mean to ... you know."
"Look. I don't know what Caitlin said to you, but you got it wrong. Jude called me, yeah, but he told me not to tell them. I don't know what you did to our Jude, but he's totally in love with you. He never wanted to hurt you."
"Oh." She sat for a minute with her eyes closed. "Y-yeah. I mean, I g-get that, I didn't ... I know he w-wouldn't, it's not ... I can't ..."
She took a deep breath. "Yeah. Okay."
"Are you guys going to be okay? I know it's none of our business, but . . . he's like our brother, you know? And whatever you two do . . . just don't hurt him? Please." His tone was kind of wry and kind, not accusing like Caitlin had been.
"I, uh, I d-don't ... I mean, I saw him, yeah? W-when I got back, he was ... oh, he p-probably told you that." She nodded quickly. "I ... I'm sure we, uh ..."
She was not going to cry on the phone to Jonesy. She was not.
"I can't just ... I'm ... I'm scared, okay?"
"Hey, bra, I know," he said gently. He said 'bra', but the tone was different than Jude's - it would always be Jude's phrase. "But don't go too hard on the guy, okay? He really loves you."
"He ... he does?" Rikku made a frustrated noise. "This is ... I know he does, I don't know why I'm ... except I do, 'cause that's why it's ... and ..."
She took another shaky breath. "Can I ... do you w-wanna know what's ... what's going on?"
"Of course I do! Man, I am so proud of Jude - but he won't tell me any of the really good stuff."
"Not like that!" Rikku considered throwing the phone again. "Ugh, never mind, that's exactly why I ... it isn't like that, don't you get it?!"
"I do," he said ruefully. "I'm just jealous."
"Why, because he totally scored some?" Rikku said bitterly. "Or you do get it, and you're ... because he ... because ... do you have any idea how terrifying it is to think that he's just been ..."
She took a deep breath, twisting the phone cord around her fingers, and ... the hell with it. "Jonesy? A ... a friend of mine just died."
Jonesy was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry," he said finally, awkwardly.
"It's okay," she said quickly. "I didn't mean that as ... I'm all right. It's fine. Just, uh."
She bit her lip. "Jude sort of ... he ... he kept me in one piece, you know? Or maybe I wasn't in one piece, but it was okay that I wasn't. I didn't ... I didn't realize how m-much I ... what he meant to me. I mean, I knew it was a lot, I knew I l-loved him, just ..."
This was all coming out wrong.
"That's why I'm jealous," Jonesy said quietly. "I can pick up the girl, but he can keep his. I've never seen him like this. He really, really loves you."
"You ... I thought you and Nikki ..." Rikku bit her lip. "I-I'm sorry?"
She took a deep breath. "It's just that ... that's when things started getting more ... I don't know, i-intense? I mean, they would have anyway, it's just, everything seemed different, I mean, I thought it did, and if it was just a thing to him, like, hey, awesome, I totally -- you know!? And to have her call me and ... and act like I'm some kind of whore ..."
She nearly spit the last word out.
"Hey, I don't know what happened! Like I said, Jude wouldn't tell me anything - you know he's like, way too polite and respectful for that. Caitlin calling you is my fault, not Jude's."
"It's your fault that she's some insane bitch who can't keep her nose to herself? It's your fault that he ..." She made a frustrated noise. "Look, fine, guys brag, great, I get it. But he tells some girl that he knows is gonna freak out at me? He didn't even warn me, and oh, here, have her phone number, in case you wanna tell her what a tramp she is!"
"No! Look, it was just a joke. Jude was being all dorky so I changed his ringtone to 'Sex Machine' in, like, celebration. When he calle me, Caitlin overheard and wigged out, totally took it the wrong way, and then did some weird hacking into his cellphone thing to get your number. Jude never told her anything."
"'Sex Machine'?" Rikku asked. Having not discovered 70s funk yet, sadly. "Okay, first of all, then this Caitlin girl is crazy, because hello, who does she think she is? Is she some kind of ex that he forgot to tell me about? Why is it her business and why not talk to him instead of ..."
She took a deep breath. "Look, Caitlin's ... not even the point. Just that, you know, the whole time she's ranting about me using him or whatever, and hey, okay, you say he never told her what was going on. But the whole, 'I love her, she loves me, we have something special, la la la' ..." Her voice was smaller now. "I guess he never told her any of that, either."
"He did. Caitlin just wasn't listening." He sounded apologetic. "She thinks she lives in a soap opera sometimes."
"So ... you, you mean this is all just ..." Rikku closed her eyes, her tone dropping from hopeful back to bitter again. "Except you're his best friend, even if it was his fault, wouldn't you just ..."
"Say whatever I had to? Yeah, I probably would. But I'm not. Look, he doesn't know I'm calling. And you don't have to do anything. I just want you to know that it wasn't his fault."
Of course it wasn't his fault. She should have known that. Right? Because it was Jude, and she knew him, or thought she did, and why the hell was she questioning that over a stupid phone call, when he was ...
"He was sitting here," she said softly. "When I got in. N-next to my door. Like he'd been there a couple hours, just waiting, and I ..."
"He told me. He said he was there since he got off work, whenever that was."
Rikku shook her head. "He usually works Saturdays, not Sundays. I wonder if he had to take someone's shift."
"Don't think so." Jonesy was quiet for a moment. "So . . . what are you going to do?"
"You ..." Rikku gasped. "You ... you mean he ..."
Oh, Jude.
She jumped up, a knife twisting in her stomach, and nearly tripped over the phone. "I-I gotta go," she said quickly, untangling the cord from around her legs.
"He said something about going to some bar, Carrot-top or something," Jonesy said quickly. "Good luck, bra."
"Carrot-- OH." She nodded quickly. "Right! Okay. Yeah. Totally. Thanks."
She had already slammed the phone down when she realized that she hadn't thanked him for any of the rest of it, and she didn't know if she even knew his number, and -- oh, the hell with it.
Rikku tore out of 308 without a backwards glance.
(ooc: preplayed with dude_its_jude/establishy/nfi)