Raising Baby aka Parenting according to Brittany and Kurt (4/7)
Title: Raising Baby aka Parenting according to Brittany and Kurt (4/7)
Author: the_marlinator
Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt, Brittany (some slight un-established/pre-slash Santana/Brittany and Puck/Kurt), Santana, Puck
Warning: Slight sexual references and some occasional swearing (one mention of the f-bomb).
Spoilers: Up to 1x13 to be safe
Disclaimer: Neither Glee or it's characters belong to me, they belong to some people more successful than I am.
Author Notes: This chapter we get to see the hot, but dysfunctional family dynamic of the Lopez/Puckerman household. Any and all feedback is appreciated and encouraged!! Un-beta-d so mistakes are mine, just let me know if you find any particular horrible ones and I'll fix 'em. Enjoy!!
Summary: Based on this prompt from theglee_fluff_meme . Brittany and Kurt are paired together for the dreaded "baby" project.
Word Count: ~1, 415
Chapter Four: Stepford Santana? I don't think so.
As the week began, the moment she was handed this plastic - thing, Santana knew she would be terrible at looking after it. She just looked at the doll disdainfully and let it drop by her side. It wasn’t a real baby anyway, and if it were she would be sure to leave a good five-foot radius between her and it. She was not one for the smells that babies produce.
Santana had no maternal instincts what so ever, and was not “wife and mother” material by a long shot, whoever said any different, was crazy. Brittany seemed to think that Santana could be more maternal. Brittany had the whole maternal thing down pat. Santana found this both endearing, and highly irritating. Brittany was now spending all her free time with her damn doll and had no time to “hang-out” anymore. This was making Santana unusually tense and irritable and she had decided to take it out on this high maintenance piece of plastic.
To be fair, it wasn’t making itself the easiest thing to look after. The pair had come up with a very fair and sophisticated way to decide who got the doll in the evenings.
They flipped a coin.
Santana unfortunately lost and was left with the job of looking after the doll at night. This was not something she enjoyed. Their doll decided it would be fun to cry at all hours of the night, and no matter how much Santana urged it, (yelled at it would probably be a more appropriate term) it refused to silence itself, making it hard for her to get her required mount of rest resulting in her being more bitchy (was that even possible) than usual.
Puck, on the other hand, was determined to nail this project. Ever since Monday when Kurt had ripped him a new one, he had done a complete one-eighty. Not only to prove to himself that he could be a good father, (even thought Quinn gave the baby up for adoption, it still hurt that she thought he would be a crappy dad) but maybe impress Kurt with his newfound paternal instincts. If he could show Kurt that he could be responsible, the other teen may adapt his narrow view of him and seem him as a new and improved Puck. One that Kurt could see himself dating.
Puck wasn’t too sure when he started liking Kurt, it was kind of sudden. When the baby drama happened Kurt didn’t treat him any differently, he continued to hold a high distain for Puck, and he liked that. Kurt seemed to be one of the more real people he knew, he didn’t apologise for being himself and that was something Puck respected and found extremely endearing and sexy, and if he could prove to Kurt that he was serious about his life - he was going to damn well do it!
Puck wasn’t sure about the whole ‘”looking after a kid thing”, he thought it would come naturally, after all he did help his mom a lot with his little sister when he was younger. However, it was slightly different now. Instead of having an encouraging mother helping him interact with a tiny human (even if it was a doll in this case) he had a prissy, pissy teenaged girl who wanted nothing more that to get rid of the damn thing and go out.
Puck had a sneaking suspicion that this attitude was brought on by Brittany being so maternal and having no time to “hang-out” with Santana. So now the bickering pair was stuck with a doll that was constantly crying due to negligence and pure confusion on both the teens part.
“Would it kill you be a little more caring, Santana?” Puck snapped. He was bouncing the baby around her living room, trying to mute the crying spell it had started when Santana unceremoniously dumped it onto the coffee table. “You just dumped it on the table! Couldn’t you have gently laid it on the couch or something?”
“Oh puh-lease,” Santana retorted as she rolled her eyes, “Don’t tell me you are going all ‘daddy Puck’ on me?” she emphasised the title with air quotes and then moved her arms to cross across her chest. “You are just as irresponsible as I am, you left the doll in your gym bag while you played football - when it was your turn to watch it!”
“Hey, at least it was warm and comfortable. It was sleeping anyway.”
“Fine - here - give me the damn doll,” Santana rolled her eyes again and marched over to Puck, snatching the doll from his arms. “I’ll look after it if it will get that self-righteous look off your face.”
“Self-righteous!?” Puck scoffed incredulously at Santana’s assessment.
“Yes, self-righteous,” Santana pointed an accusing finger at Puck. “You are acting all high and mighty because this damn doll doesn’t cry when you have to look after it. But whenever I am looking after it all it does is cry, cry - and what do you know cry some more!”
Puck looked taken aback by Santana’s tirade. She had a wide, wild look in her eyes, her hair was falling out of her always-tidy ponytail and she had her eyebrows raised so high on her head that he could climb up the wrinkles that were forming on her usually smooth forehead.
“I am no freaking Stepford wife Puck! I am a freaking teenager, and this is a stupid project and I am done doing all the heavy lifting! You can keep the damn doll tonight and then give me crap about looking after it once you have.”
Santana then promptly slapped the doll back into Puck’s arms and retreated upstairs to her bedroom. Puck stood there dumbfounded with a crying doll and was just able to hear Santana screech down the stairs, “You can show yourself out.”
“Do you want me to get you some tampon’s while I’m out? Cause you’re sure acting like you need some!” Puck called back up the stairs. Santana’s response was a shoe that had been pelted down the stairs at the boy and a classy, “Fuck you, Puck!”
Puck just grumbled, dismissing the angry girl with a wave of his hand. He then grabbed his bag and the one they were given with the doll and promptly left Santana’s house.
***
Mrs. Puckerman stood in her son’s doorway, bathrobe clutched tightly around her tired frame and her eyes drooping with fatigue.
“Noah, honey,” she began, stifling a yawn. “I am happy that you are taking some initiative with this project, but is there anyway you can make it stop crying? I have an early shift at work tomorrow and I need my rest.”
“I know Ma,” Puck sighed. “It’s just - I’ve tried everything! I’ve fed it, burped it, changed it - hell I even sang to it. It just won’t shut the goddamn hell up.”
Mrs. Puckerman frowned at her son’s choice of language, “Language, Noah.”
“Sorry, Ma.”
She sighed, “I’ll guess I will have to go find my ear plugs then. Goodnight, honey. Sleep tigh-oh never mind.” Mrs. Puckerman cut herself off as she caught her son’s glare. She then shut Puck’s door as he slumped backwards onto to his bed, doll still wailing.
“I bet Santana broke it, dropping it all over the place,” Puck grumbled as he dragged himself up from the comfort of his bed and began to walk around the room bouncing the doll to and fro. “Some mother she is, huh?”
***
Meanwhile, Santana was enjoying a relaxing evening where she was able to catch up and have a lengthy phone conversation with Quinn, followed by a hot bath and full night’s rest.
That doll had been driving her crazy for the past few nights and no matter how many times she fed, changed, sang and coddled the baby, it would continue to cry late into the night. Santana had gotten past the stage of caring. She had resigned herself to the fact that she was no good at parenting a pain in the ass doll and was happy to hand it over to Puck for the night; let him suffer.
From what she understood (from all of Puck numerous, desperate calls) he was suffering greatly. Served the self-righteous dick right, let him experience how hard the whole job is, then he can criticise her actions.
Santana fell asleep with a smile on her face, basking in the silence.
Author: the_marlinator
Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt, Brittany (some slight un-established/pre-slash Santana/Brittany and Puck/Kurt), Santana, Puck
Warning: Slight sexual references and some occasional swearing (one mention of the f-bomb).
Spoilers: Up to 1x13 to be safe
Disclaimer: Neither Glee or it's characters belong to me, they belong to some people more successful than I am.
Author Notes: This chapter we get to see the hot, but dysfunctional family dynamic of the Lopez/Puckerman household. Any and all feedback is appreciated and encouraged!! Un-beta-d so mistakes are mine, just let me know if you find any particular horrible ones and I'll fix 'em. Enjoy!!
Summary: Based on this prompt from theglee_fluff_meme . Brittany and Kurt are paired together for the dreaded "baby" project.
Word Count: ~1, 415
Chapter Four: Stepford Santana? I don't think so.
As the week began, the moment she was handed this plastic - thing, Santana knew she would be terrible at looking after it. She just looked at the doll disdainfully and let it drop by her side. It wasn’t a real baby anyway, and if it were she would be sure to leave a good five-foot radius between her and it. She was not one for the smells that babies produce.
Santana had no maternal instincts what so ever, and was not “wife and mother” material by a long shot, whoever said any different, was crazy. Brittany seemed to think that Santana could be more maternal. Brittany had the whole maternal thing down pat. Santana found this both endearing, and highly irritating. Brittany was now spending all her free time with her damn doll and had no time to “hang-out” anymore. This was making Santana unusually tense and irritable and she had decided to take it out on this high maintenance piece of plastic.
To be fair, it wasn’t making itself the easiest thing to look after. The pair had come up with a very fair and sophisticated way to decide who got the doll in the evenings.
They flipped a coin.
Santana unfortunately lost and was left with the job of looking after the doll at night. This was not something she enjoyed. Their doll decided it would be fun to cry at all hours of the night, and no matter how much Santana urged it, (yelled at it would probably be a more appropriate term) it refused to silence itself, making it hard for her to get her required mount of rest resulting in her being more bitchy (was that even possible) than usual.
Puck, on the other hand, was determined to nail this project. Ever since Monday when Kurt had ripped him a new one, he had done a complete one-eighty. Not only to prove to himself that he could be a good father, (even thought Quinn gave the baby up for adoption, it still hurt that she thought he would be a crappy dad) but maybe impress Kurt with his newfound paternal instincts. If he could show Kurt that he could be responsible, the other teen may adapt his narrow view of him and seem him as a new and improved Puck. One that Kurt could see himself dating.
Puck wasn’t too sure when he started liking Kurt, it was kind of sudden. When the baby drama happened Kurt didn’t treat him any differently, he continued to hold a high distain for Puck, and he liked that. Kurt seemed to be one of the more real people he knew, he didn’t apologise for being himself and that was something Puck respected and found extremely endearing and sexy, and if he could prove to Kurt that he was serious about his life - he was going to damn well do it!
Puck wasn’t sure about the whole ‘”looking after a kid thing”, he thought it would come naturally, after all he did help his mom a lot with his little sister when he was younger. However, it was slightly different now. Instead of having an encouraging mother helping him interact with a tiny human (even if it was a doll in this case) he had a prissy, pissy teenaged girl who wanted nothing more that to get rid of the damn thing and go out.
Puck had a sneaking suspicion that this attitude was brought on by Brittany being so maternal and having no time to “hang-out” with Santana. So now the bickering pair was stuck with a doll that was constantly crying due to negligence and pure confusion on both the teens part.
“Would it kill you be a little more caring, Santana?” Puck snapped. He was bouncing the baby around her living room, trying to mute the crying spell it had started when Santana unceremoniously dumped it onto the coffee table. “You just dumped it on the table! Couldn’t you have gently laid it on the couch or something?”
“Oh puh-lease,” Santana retorted as she rolled her eyes, “Don’t tell me you are going all ‘daddy Puck’ on me?” she emphasised the title with air quotes and then moved her arms to cross across her chest. “You are just as irresponsible as I am, you left the doll in your gym bag while you played football - when it was your turn to watch it!”
“Hey, at least it was warm and comfortable. It was sleeping anyway.”
“Fine - here - give me the damn doll,” Santana rolled her eyes again and marched over to Puck, snatching the doll from his arms. “I’ll look after it if it will get that self-righteous look off your face.”
“Self-righteous!?” Puck scoffed incredulously at Santana’s assessment.
“Yes, self-righteous,” Santana pointed an accusing finger at Puck. “You are acting all high and mighty because this damn doll doesn’t cry when you have to look after it. But whenever I am looking after it all it does is cry, cry - and what do you know cry some more!”
Puck looked taken aback by Santana’s tirade. She had a wide, wild look in her eyes, her hair was falling out of her always-tidy ponytail and she had her eyebrows raised so high on her head that he could climb up the wrinkles that were forming on her usually smooth forehead.
“I am no freaking Stepford wife Puck! I am a freaking teenager, and this is a stupid project and I am done doing all the heavy lifting! You can keep the damn doll tonight and then give me crap about looking after it once you have.”
Santana then promptly slapped the doll back into Puck’s arms and retreated upstairs to her bedroom. Puck stood there dumbfounded with a crying doll and was just able to hear Santana screech down the stairs, “You can show yourself out.”
“Do you want me to get you some tampon’s while I’m out? Cause you’re sure acting like you need some!” Puck called back up the stairs. Santana’s response was a shoe that had been pelted down the stairs at the boy and a classy, “Fuck you, Puck!”
Puck just grumbled, dismissing the angry girl with a wave of his hand. He then grabbed his bag and the one they were given with the doll and promptly left Santana’s house.
***
Mrs. Puckerman stood in her son’s doorway, bathrobe clutched tightly around her tired frame and her eyes drooping with fatigue.
“Noah, honey,” she began, stifling a yawn. “I am happy that you are taking some initiative with this project, but is there anyway you can make it stop crying? I have an early shift at work tomorrow and I need my rest.”
“I know Ma,” Puck sighed. “It’s just - I’ve tried everything! I’ve fed it, burped it, changed it - hell I even sang to it. It just won’t shut the goddamn hell up.”
Mrs. Puckerman frowned at her son’s choice of language, “Language, Noah.”
“Sorry, Ma.”
She sighed, “I’ll guess I will have to go find my ear plugs then. Goodnight, honey. Sleep tigh-oh never mind.” Mrs. Puckerman cut herself off as she caught her son’s glare. She then shut Puck’s door as he slumped backwards onto to his bed, doll still wailing.
“I bet Santana broke it, dropping it all over the place,” Puck grumbled as he dragged himself up from the comfort of his bed and began to walk around the room bouncing the doll to and fro. “Some mother she is, huh?”
***
Meanwhile, Santana was enjoying a relaxing evening where she was able to catch up and have a lengthy phone conversation with Quinn, followed by a hot bath and full night’s rest.
That doll had been driving her crazy for the past few nights and no matter how many times she fed, changed, sang and coddled the baby, it would continue to cry late into the night. Santana had gotten past the stage of caring. She had resigned herself to the fact that she was no good at parenting a pain in the ass doll and was happy to hand it over to Puck for the night; let him suffer.
From what she understood (from all of Puck numerous, desperate calls) he was suffering greatly. Served the self-righteous dick right, let him experience how hard the whole job is, then he can criticise her actions.
Santana fell asleep with a smile on her face, basking in the silence.