[Fic] Changing Baby aka Some things are easier in Health Class
Title: Changing Baby aka Some things are easier in Health Class
Rating: G
Pairing: Kurt/Puck (can be seen as slash or friendship)
Length: ~715 words
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Spoilers: Up to Sectionals to be safe
Summary: Puck realises that health class was unequipped to successfully teach him how to change a diaper.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters. If I did I'd be singing and dancing with them.
Notes: This little idea came into my head while I was babysitting today. I was changing the baby’s diaper and she wouldn’t sit still, she was squirming all over the place! Whilst I was grappling with the baby Puck’s voice just popped into my head saying, “This wasn’t this difficult in health class!” and voila a story is born. I hope you enjoy it!!
“This wasn’t this difficult in health class!” Puck exclaimed.
Kurt rolled his eyes, “Maybe because it was on a plastic doll, and not on a living, breathing, squirming baby.”
Puck stood at the end of the changing table armed with wipes and baby powder, armed for battle, as he stared down the smiling baby lying innocently on the changing table. Her feet in the air, totally oblivious to the worry and confusion in her father’s expression. Kurt was standing in the doorway; an amused smirk gracing his lips.
“There is no way in hell I will be able to do this.” Puck muttered to himself. He called out to Kurt, “A little help would be nice!”
“Oh no Noah, you are on your own. There is no way you are getting me to help you with this. Quinn is letting you be apart of the baby’s life, and part of that life is changing diapers.”
“But she won't sit still, Kurt!” Puck whined, “How am I supposed to change it when she is flailing her legs all over the place?”
“Noah, you grab the legs -- gently Noah -- and pull them upwards - No Noah!” Puck had managed to almost lift the baby upside down, slightly resembling the way a prized fisherman would hold up his latest catch, “ You don’t want to tip her over!”
Puck grappled with the infant, finally securing the giggling girls legs, and removed the soiled diaper. He taped it up and threw the now sealed diaper towards Kurt who squealed, “Noah, gross! What do you want me to do with it?”
“Could you throw it in the trash for me? I am kind busy at the moment.” Puck was currently trying to wipe the baby, but was having trouble securing both legs again. The baby’s free leg was currently swinging around as she tried to free herself from her father’s grip, promptly kicking him in the face as he leaned closer to inspect the baby’s obvious discomfort.
“OW! Geez, is it that hard to sit still?” Puck questioned his daughter. She squirmed in discomfort, “Darn it! She has a rash, what did Quinn say about that?”
“She said that there is lotion for it in her diaper bag,” Kurt replied.
“Could you go get it?”
“Okay,” Kurt was reluctant to leave a frustrated Noah alone with a squirming and obviously uncomfortable baby, but went to go get the lotion and dispose of the diaper in the next room. When he returned he had found that Noah had successfully secured both the baby’s legs and produced a fresh diaper for her to be changed into. He walked over to Puck and handed him the lotion, which Puck promptly applied. The baby’s mood had changed drastically once the soothing lotion was applied, and resumed the squirming and giggling.
“Now for the powder and we can seal this baby up!” Puck announced proudly.
“Finally,” Kurt echoed his sentiment. Puck had spent the better part of ten minutes changing this diaper, and was adamant about it being the best diaper change ever. He was going to be a master on all accounts. Little Anna Puckerman had other ideas.
Whilst the boys were conversing about their almost victory, she grabbed the baby powder and shook the bottle with all the strength in her little arms, giggling all the while, covering both the boys in a layer of the white powder. Puck promptly snatched the bottle away from the infant and applied it, while a less than impressed Kurt stood thinking how the hell he was going to get all of it out of his hair.
“Ta da!” a triumphant Puck held a now successfully changed Anna above his head, completely oblivious to the fact that he resembled a powdered donut, his chest puffed out with pride.
Kurt couldn’t help but smile at the scene, the pure joy on both father and daughter's faces was a total Kodak moment. As Kurt made to exit the room, fully intending to remove the results of their task, an unpleasant smell reached his nose. Kurt turned towards Puck, “Noah, do you smell that?”
“Smell what,” Puck sniffed and recoiled as the scent hit his nostrils. He looked up at his daughter, still raised in the air, and groaned.
“This was definitely easier in health class.”
Rating: G
Pairing: Kurt/Puck (can be seen as slash or friendship)
Length: ~715 words
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Spoilers: Up to Sectionals to be safe
Summary: Puck realises that health class was unequipped to successfully teach him how to change a diaper.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters. If I did I'd be singing and dancing with them.
Notes: This little idea came into my head while I was babysitting today. I was changing the baby’s diaper and she wouldn’t sit still, she was squirming all over the place! Whilst I was grappling with the baby Puck’s voice just popped into my head saying, “This wasn’t this difficult in health class!” and voila a story is born. I hope you enjoy it!!
“This wasn’t this difficult in health class!” Puck exclaimed.
Kurt rolled his eyes, “Maybe because it was on a plastic doll, and not on a living, breathing, squirming baby.”
Puck stood at the end of the changing table armed with wipes and baby powder, armed for battle, as he stared down the smiling baby lying innocently on the changing table. Her feet in the air, totally oblivious to the worry and confusion in her father’s expression. Kurt was standing in the doorway; an amused smirk gracing his lips.
“There is no way in hell I will be able to do this.” Puck muttered to himself. He called out to Kurt, “A little help would be nice!”
“Oh no Noah, you are on your own. There is no way you are getting me to help you with this. Quinn is letting you be apart of the baby’s life, and part of that life is changing diapers.”
“But she won't sit still, Kurt!” Puck whined, “How am I supposed to change it when she is flailing her legs all over the place?”
“Noah, you grab the legs -- gently Noah -- and pull them upwards - No Noah!” Puck had managed to almost lift the baby upside down, slightly resembling the way a prized fisherman would hold up his latest catch, “ You don’t want to tip her over!”
Puck grappled with the infant, finally securing the giggling girls legs, and removed the soiled diaper. He taped it up and threw the now sealed diaper towards Kurt who squealed, “Noah, gross! What do you want me to do with it?”
“Could you throw it in the trash for me? I am kind busy at the moment.” Puck was currently trying to wipe the baby, but was having trouble securing both legs again. The baby’s free leg was currently swinging around as she tried to free herself from her father’s grip, promptly kicking him in the face as he leaned closer to inspect the baby’s obvious discomfort.
“OW! Geez, is it that hard to sit still?” Puck questioned his daughter. She squirmed in discomfort, “Darn it! She has a rash, what did Quinn say about that?”
“She said that there is lotion for it in her diaper bag,” Kurt replied.
“Could you go get it?”
“Okay,” Kurt was reluctant to leave a frustrated Noah alone with a squirming and obviously uncomfortable baby, but went to go get the lotion and dispose of the diaper in the next room. When he returned he had found that Noah had successfully secured both the baby’s legs and produced a fresh diaper for her to be changed into. He walked over to Puck and handed him the lotion, which Puck promptly applied. The baby’s mood had changed drastically once the soothing lotion was applied, and resumed the squirming and giggling.
“Now for the powder and we can seal this baby up!” Puck announced proudly.
“Finally,” Kurt echoed his sentiment. Puck had spent the better part of ten minutes changing this diaper, and was adamant about it being the best diaper change ever. He was going to be a master on all accounts. Little Anna Puckerman had other ideas.
Whilst the boys were conversing about their almost victory, she grabbed the baby powder and shook the bottle with all the strength in her little arms, giggling all the while, covering both the boys in a layer of the white powder. Puck promptly snatched the bottle away from the infant and applied it, while a less than impressed Kurt stood thinking how the hell he was going to get all of it out of his hair.
“Ta da!” a triumphant Puck held a now successfully changed Anna above his head, completely oblivious to the fact that he resembled a powdered donut, his chest puffed out with pride.
Kurt couldn’t help but smile at the scene, the pure joy on both father and daughter's faces was a total Kodak moment. As Kurt made to exit the room, fully intending to remove the results of their task, an unpleasant smell reached his nose. Kurt turned towards Puck, “Noah, do you smell that?”
“Smell what,” Puck sniffed and recoiled as the scent hit his nostrils. He looked up at his daughter, still raised in the air, and groaned.
“This was definitely easier in health class.”