Free
Well, I think my insane October has come to an end. Cholo's visit came and it was great to see him and I loved having him here, but it came at the end of such an insane month that I felt like I couldn't enjoy it. I wish I had had a chance to relax before he came and to recharge my introvert batteries because he is a lot. He has stamina to go out and drink and talk to people that I just don't. I'm good with going out until 1 or 2, but he was on it until 4am both Friday and Saturday night, drinking, talking to people, dancing, making out with two guys at once. Just, bro, I can't. Plus playing tour guide is in its own way exhausting. I dunno, I felt a little bad like I wasn't enjoying it as much as I should.
But we did have fun. I'm glad we went out to Vauxhall Friday night even though I reallllly didn't want to and only gave in because I felt bad because he was on vacation. I was dead and drained while we were there and even though I was chatting with a cute Northern Irish guy every part of my body wanted to be at home in bed, preferably alone, instead. And also on Halloween I'm glad he forced me to go out because we went to Exilio which was a fun gay Latin club, and also to XXL which was disgusting. It got me reflecting on why I found it disgusting (it was a bunch of bearded muscle guys, shirtless, dancing in an earnest sexy way to "Don't Ya Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me." I think even if I had the body to do it I would still just find it gross and laughable. None of it felt sexy. It felt very unfriendly (I was sitting on a couch and met eyes with the guy next to me and smiled and he responded by shaking his head no, which, ok, I also wasn't interested but we are humans). And like, earnest sexy dancing is embarrassing and not sexy and aren't you a grown man? It didn't seem fun is all I could say.
We also had fun going to see the house from Notes on a Scandal which was fun. And quoted RuPaul's Drag Race and ate yummy things like McDonalds and Dominos.
I got sick from the visit though. I don't know because I was already so exhausted, or maybe from being around his second-hand smoke or what, but I have a chest cold now and I'm coughing up green phlegm and have a congested nose. I stayed home from work (to work from home) today and it was nice just to sleep in and today it's nice to sit in my pajamas and be alone and do laundry. I do feel better. I haven't even showered yet. It's great.
Now that October is over I can't even believe I DID October. A month ago I was getting back from Peru, and September was already an insane month of discombobulation what with New York and Peru. I got back on Saturday to the news that my flatmates were kicking me out. On Sunday I was searchign for and found a new place. The following Saturday I had Anwita's bachelorette party all day and on Sunday I had an insane amount of freelance work to catch up on so I went to the office and stayed there till 8:30 every tnight that week. The next Saturday I moved houses, which was physically exhausting, and on Sunday I had Anwita's wedding. The weekend after that I went to Lithuania to visit Martijn (that was fun too), and then this last weekend I had Mario's visit. I had no weekend day to do life admin or just unwind. Throw into that a very hectic work schedule plus too much freelance work that I took on, and goddamn, I'm exhausted! When I planned all of this I pictured having free days to recover but my old garbage flatmates ruined that.
But it's over and now I can get back to my regular life of just normal busy work, some nights of being busy with friends and some nights of not being busy. Weekends where I might go out or I might stay in and watch a movie. I mean, at least for 6 weeks until I go to the US for Christmas, anyway.
My new flat is so far so good. I have a lot of privacy and don't see or hear the other flatmates much. When I do see them they are very pleasant. The landlords are nice and make sure everything is taken care of. My only real complaint is that I' just a *little* too far from the tube station but I'm even getting used to that. I think I might stay here a while but that has literally been my plan at every place I've moved and I either end up hating it or something else happens and I have to go, so.... for now I'll say that it's good.
And yes, Lithuania was very nice. I don't think it's a place I would have picked to go on my own, but it was good to visit Martijn. Vilnius is very pretty but tiny. You could walk around the whole city in 4 hours and not have missed anything I don't think. I saw it in a day and felt satisfied. Trakai Castle is pretty, but yes, 3 full days in Lithuania, if you're not visiting friends, is too many. We also had fun and went to Vilnius' only gay club and it was ridiculous and fun and they played Spice Girls and "When You're Good to Mama" from Chicago, and trashy Europop like "Shut up and sleep with me" the Pet Shop Boys "Go West" which was fun (btw those videos makes me sad I missed the opportunity to live in Europe in the 90s).
And now I'm having pre-US election panic attacks because I'm really afraid Donald Trump will win. These are similar to my pre-Brexit panic attacks and are mostly brought on by reading people's internet comments that seem totally ignorant but wilfully ignorant and not based in fact but emotion and deep-seated prejudice and it's terrifying. I don't get how anyone sees something in Donald Trump that they can identify with. Hillary isn't perfect, but Donald is a con man, thin-skinned, a racist, a rapist. Just, I can't understand how someone sees that as appeaing. But having done Brexit I think anything is possible and people will wilfully and ecstatically vote for that authoritarian. I'm starting to feel like he may win and I'm scared of the reaction I'll have to have to that. It'll just seem like nothing good is happening in the world.
Meh.
But we did have fun. I'm glad we went out to Vauxhall Friday night even though I reallllly didn't want to and only gave in because I felt bad because he was on vacation. I was dead and drained while we were there and even though I was chatting with a cute Northern Irish guy every part of my body wanted to be at home in bed, preferably alone, instead. And also on Halloween I'm glad he forced me to go out because we went to Exilio which was a fun gay Latin club, and also to XXL which was disgusting. It got me reflecting on why I found it disgusting (it was a bunch of bearded muscle guys, shirtless, dancing in an earnest sexy way to "Don't Ya Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me." I think even if I had the body to do it I would still just find it gross and laughable. None of it felt sexy. It felt very unfriendly (I was sitting on a couch and met eyes with the guy next to me and smiled and he responded by shaking his head no, which, ok, I also wasn't interested but we are humans). And like, earnest sexy dancing is embarrassing and not sexy and aren't you a grown man? It didn't seem fun is all I could say.
We also had fun going to see the house from Notes on a Scandal which was fun. And quoted RuPaul's Drag Race and ate yummy things like McDonalds and Dominos.
I got sick from the visit though. I don't know because I was already so exhausted, or maybe from being around his second-hand smoke or what, but I have a chest cold now and I'm coughing up green phlegm and have a congested nose. I stayed home from work (to work from home) today and it was nice just to sleep in and today it's nice to sit in my pajamas and be alone and do laundry. I do feel better. I haven't even showered yet. It's great.
Now that October is over I can't even believe I DID October. A month ago I was getting back from Peru, and September was already an insane month of discombobulation what with New York and Peru. I got back on Saturday to the news that my flatmates were kicking me out. On Sunday I was searchign for and found a new place. The following Saturday I had Anwita's bachelorette party all day and on Sunday I had an insane amount of freelance work to catch up on so I went to the office and stayed there till 8:30 every tnight that week. The next Saturday I moved houses, which was physically exhausting, and on Sunday I had Anwita's wedding. The weekend after that I went to Lithuania to visit Martijn (that was fun too), and then this last weekend I had Mario's visit. I had no weekend day to do life admin or just unwind. Throw into that a very hectic work schedule plus too much freelance work that I took on, and goddamn, I'm exhausted! When I planned all of this I pictured having free days to recover but my old garbage flatmates ruined that.
But it's over and now I can get back to my regular life of just normal busy work, some nights of being busy with friends and some nights of not being busy. Weekends where I might go out or I might stay in and watch a movie. I mean, at least for 6 weeks until I go to the US for Christmas, anyway.
My new flat is so far so good. I have a lot of privacy and don't see or hear the other flatmates much. When I do see them they are very pleasant. The landlords are nice and make sure everything is taken care of. My only real complaint is that I' just a *little* too far from the tube station but I'm even getting used to that. I think I might stay here a while but that has literally been my plan at every place I've moved and I either end up hating it or something else happens and I have to go, so.... for now I'll say that it's good.
And yes, Lithuania was very nice. I don't think it's a place I would have picked to go on my own, but it was good to visit Martijn. Vilnius is very pretty but tiny. You could walk around the whole city in 4 hours and not have missed anything I don't think. I saw it in a day and felt satisfied. Trakai Castle is pretty, but yes, 3 full days in Lithuania, if you're not visiting friends, is too many. We also had fun and went to Vilnius' only gay club and it was ridiculous and fun and they played Spice Girls and "When You're Good to Mama" from Chicago, and trashy Europop like "Shut up and sleep with me" the Pet Shop Boys "Go West" which was fun (btw those videos makes me sad I missed the opportunity to live in Europe in the 90s).
And now I'm having pre-US election panic attacks because I'm really afraid Donald Trump will win. These are similar to my pre-Brexit panic attacks and are mostly brought on by reading people's internet comments that seem totally ignorant but wilfully ignorant and not based in fact but emotion and deep-seated prejudice and it's terrifying. I don't get how anyone sees something in Donald Trump that they can identify with. Hillary isn't perfect, but Donald is a con man, thin-skinned, a racist, a rapist. Just, I can't understand how someone sees that as appeaing. But having done Brexit I think anything is possible and people will wilfully and ecstatically vote for that authoritarian. I'm starting to feel like he may win and I'm scared of the reaction I'll have to have to that. It'll just seem like nothing good is happening in the world.
Meh.