(no subject)
Brexit happened and I am just... well, today I am angry. I have gone through the stages of grief. Friday morning was shock. All weekend was denial. Today is anger.
I'm angry because I don't think people actually understood what they were voting for, and decided to "vote with their hearts" without thinking of the economic consequences. I'm angry at David Cameron for holding a referendum that asked a seemingly simple question (In or Out of the EU), but which in effect was between a certainty and a leap into the great unknown. No one knows what Brexit is supposed to look like. No one really knows what it is. And that just leads to months if not years of uncertainty. The Leave said promised things I realistically knew they could never deliver (the NHS pledge especially) but people BELIEVED that. And now that they're told that it's impossible, well, do you think they should have been told that before they voted? The political fallout has been tremendous. The pound has tanked. And yes it should never have been a referendum - but the warnings of what a Leave vote would mean were broadcast for months in advance. People wrote them off as "scare mongering." Corbyn said it they happened he would protect people.
I'm annoyed at now having to live with a recession. I hate uncertainty. I feel like I graduated college into a recession. I struggled to find a job in a weak job market after my Masters. And now... just as things were sort of looking good, and some stability had returned, I fucking get launched into a self-inflicted British recession. And because of what? Because fucking Dave and Tracey on the council estate wanted to get back at David Cameron? Because they were mad at people speaking Polish? Because some old people have a nostalgic dream of dignity of the empire that is based on racist assumptions of white superiority? Well, congrats, you voted out. The economy tanked. And now a more right wing government will come to power that will further cut your benefits and pensions. But you've brought down the rest of us with you.
I'm annoyed because it now feels like I bet my future on a sinking ship. I like(d) living here. I liked London. Things were comfortable. The job was good, I had great vacation time, good benefits. I could travel. All of that seems up in the air now. I know with leaving the EU there will be a recession and taxes will go up and benefits will be cut. Already I will have certainly lost getting a bonus.
And what's next? I feel like, now that the rug has been taken out from under me, I'll have to return to the US (and yes I know it's great to have that option, and I could be in much worse straits, like being from a poor country, or not having the legal right to go elsewhere, but this is my blog and I can feel sad about it). And, honestly, I don't even know where I go in the US if it's not NY. And I don't want to live in NY! Today I googled one bedroom apartments I could realistically afford and while I excited myself at the thought of new real estate (like I always do), I quickly got depressed when Google street viewing them (those depressing grey New York street views) and at the thought of not having a washer/dryer in the apartment.
So basically I feel like my future in this country has been ended and I have no good options.
Now, I know I've felt that way before, and in the end it's all sort of worked out one way or another. But, I'm just tired of bad news and of the wrong outcomes or of the wrong people winning. It has not been a good last two weeks with the news. I honestly fear for humanity. I fear for a President Trump. I fear that this is the 1930s, but that the next thing is the 1940s, and I can't deal with a major upset of the world order and violence and displacement and death, massive death. And I supposed I can see that happening all too easily right now. And so I'm filled with low-level anxiety. Angst.
I have lots of feelings about UK politics - good that Cameron resigned. Scared who will replace them. Hopes that Labour will stop masturbating to everything Jeremy Corbyn says and replace him for willingly sabotaging the Remain campaign. But I also just wish it had never come to this, and we could have just muddled on. Damnit everyone. You fucked it up as I was enjoying myself and made me feel stupid for betting on the future of this country.
I'm angry because I don't think people actually understood what they were voting for, and decided to "vote with their hearts" without thinking of the economic consequences. I'm angry at David Cameron for holding a referendum that asked a seemingly simple question (In or Out of the EU), but which in effect was between a certainty and a leap into the great unknown. No one knows what Brexit is supposed to look like. No one really knows what it is. And that just leads to months if not years of uncertainty. The Leave said promised things I realistically knew they could never deliver (the NHS pledge especially) but people BELIEVED that. And now that they're told that it's impossible, well, do you think they should have been told that before they voted? The political fallout has been tremendous. The pound has tanked. And yes it should never have been a referendum - but the warnings of what a Leave vote would mean were broadcast for months in advance. People wrote them off as "scare mongering." Corbyn said it they happened he would protect people.
I'm annoyed at now having to live with a recession. I hate uncertainty. I feel like I graduated college into a recession. I struggled to find a job in a weak job market after my Masters. And now... just as things were sort of looking good, and some stability had returned, I fucking get launched into a self-inflicted British recession. And because of what? Because fucking Dave and Tracey on the council estate wanted to get back at David Cameron? Because they were mad at people speaking Polish? Because some old people have a nostalgic dream of dignity of the empire that is based on racist assumptions of white superiority? Well, congrats, you voted out. The economy tanked. And now a more right wing government will come to power that will further cut your benefits and pensions. But you've brought down the rest of us with you.
I'm annoyed because it now feels like I bet my future on a sinking ship. I like(d) living here. I liked London. Things were comfortable. The job was good, I had great vacation time, good benefits. I could travel. All of that seems up in the air now. I know with leaving the EU there will be a recession and taxes will go up and benefits will be cut. Already I will have certainly lost getting a bonus.
And what's next? I feel like, now that the rug has been taken out from under me, I'll have to return to the US (and yes I know it's great to have that option, and I could be in much worse straits, like being from a poor country, or not having the legal right to go elsewhere, but this is my blog and I can feel sad about it). And, honestly, I don't even know where I go in the US if it's not NY. And I don't want to live in NY! Today I googled one bedroom apartments I could realistically afford and while I excited myself at the thought of new real estate (like I always do), I quickly got depressed when Google street viewing them (those depressing grey New York street views) and at the thought of not having a washer/dryer in the apartment.
So basically I feel like my future in this country has been ended and I have no good options.
Now, I know I've felt that way before, and in the end it's all sort of worked out one way or another. But, I'm just tired of bad news and of the wrong outcomes or of the wrong people winning. It has not been a good last two weeks with the news. I honestly fear for humanity. I fear for a President Trump. I fear that this is the 1930s, but that the next thing is the 1940s, and I can't deal with a major upset of the world order and violence and displacement and death, massive death. And I supposed I can see that happening all too easily right now. And so I'm filled with low-level anxiety. Angst.
I have lots of feelings about UK politics - good that Cameron resigned. Scared who will replace them. Hopes that Labour will stop masturbating to everything Jeremy Corbyn says and replace him for willingly sabotaging the Remain campaign. But I also just wish it had never come to this, and we could have just muddled on. Damnit everyone. You fucked it up as I was enjoying myself and made me feel stupid for betting on the future of this country.