Jay - To the gym, showers, and his room.
Jay walked briskly through the mall, angrily stripping off his torn shirt as he went and tossing it aside. He needed to work off all of the held back emotion, the anger, the embarrassment, and the shame. Sure he'd been able to hold back the emotion during a crisis situation, but now it was over and there was no more holding it back. Bursting through the doors of the gym, he let out an enraged yell as he flung himself at a punching bag, pummeling it with his fists. It didn't matter what he did for the rest of his life, how much good he did, how many people he saved, the blood of his past would always be on his hands, and it would never wash off. People would not ever let him live down his time as a Techno, never, and he could never make up for the pain, suffering, and the deaths that he contributed to.
All of his past pain, all of the suffering, all of his time as a Techno, and this latest incident with Ryan crashed down on him. These past few years, all of his losses, every struggle, came back to him and it was nearly more than he could bear. He beat the punching bag until his fists were bloody, and yet he didn't even feel the pain. When he noticed the blood on the punching bag he stopped and looked at his hands in wonder for a moment. Then he went over and spread out on a mat, and began doing sit-ups until he couldn't move any more. For a while he just lay on the mat staring at the ceiling, trying to decide what he should do. Maybe he could go somewhere, start life over as far from here as possible. But then he'd always be looking over his shoulder, waiting for the day when someone who knew his past would show up and ruin everything. Besides, he had Ebony to think about, and he didn't want to leave her behind. If he brought her along though and she did have a child she would have no real medical care, and no tribe to help in rearing the child, no family to share in the responsibility.
Earlier in the day he had felt so much a part of this tribe, now he didn't know any more. His brother was still here, and Ebony's sister was still here, and soon she would have a niece or nephew. The people of the mall had come to mean a lot to him, and he didn't want to give all that up over one incident. His stomach growled, reminding him that it had been quite a while since he had eaten. With a sigh he got up and went to his room to get his shower kit and a fresh shirt. A quick shower made more difficult by his battered knuckles, then a trip to the room to put his gear away, and he headed in to join the others for the celebration. Today was a day to celebrate a joining and he didn't want to spoil it any more than it already had been.
All of his past pain, all of the suffering, all of his time as a Techno, and this latest incident with Ryan crashed down on him. These past few years, all of his losses, every struggle, came back to him and it was nearly more than he could bear. He beat the punching bag until his fists were bloody, and yet he didn't even feel the pain. When he noticed the blood on the punching bag he stopped and looked at his hands in wonder for a moment. Then he went over and spread out on a mat, and began doing sit-ups until he couldn't move any more. For a while he just lay on the mat staring at the ceiling, trying to decide what he should do. Maybe he could go somewhere, start life over as far from here as possible. But then he'd always be looking over his shoulder, waiting for the day when someone who knew his past would show up and ruin everything. Besides, he had Ebony to think about, and he didn't want to leave her behind. If he brought her along though and she did have a child she would have no real medical care, and no tribe to help in rearing the child, no family to share in the responsibility.
Earlier in the day he had felt so much a part of this tribe, now he didn't know any more. His brother was still here, and Ebony's sister was still here, and soon she would have a niece or nephew. The people of the mall had come to mean a lot to him, and he didn't want to give all that up over one incident. His stomach growled, reminding him that it had been quite a while since he had eaten. With a sigh he got up and went to his room to get his shower kit and a fresh shirt. A quick shower made more difficult by his battered knuckles, then a trip to the room to put his gear away, and he headed in to join the others for the celebration. Today was a day to celebrate a joining and he didn't want to spoil it any more than it already had been.