(no subject)
I AM STILL ALIVE.
I've been through a lot of shit recently. A few months ago, my girlfriend of two years left me for my best friend. I made good friends with some people, and now due to very little fault of my own they all hate me. They treat me like shit, and think I'm beyond pathetic, and want to do everything in their power to ruin me. I found out that a girl I've liked for years liked me back, but I got ahead of myself (again) and threw myself on my ass.
This is a lot of shit for one person to deal with, especially because I honestly don't have that many trustworthy friends right now. In fact, I feel like it was such a fucking mistake to trust these people that I'm ready to just say fuck it and never trust anyone with anything.
But I'm still here. I'm standing ON TOP of a mountain of ashes. Burn me all you want, assholes, you can't stop me.
I AM FUCKING INVINCIBLE.
Many people I know, having been through what I'm going through, would not be standing. I know many people who would kill themselves, cut themselves, drink themselves into oblivion, severely break the law, or even all of the above.
But I'm not one of those people. I'm stronger than that.
I am still here. I've made it this far, I can make it to the end. I CAN SURVIVE ANYTHING.
I am transparent. Sure, my closet has skeletons. Whose doesn't? But why bother with secrets? If there's something about me that's true, then FUCK YOU if you have a problem with it. I'm not going to hide from my own truths. Anyone who's bothered by my past or my nightmares isn't worth my time.
That's it, right there. These friends I just lost are bothered by the way I think, and what I've done. I'm happy with myself. I'm not failing all my classes, I have a job, I still have some decent friends left. They can call me pathetic all they want, I'm better than them. I'm happy with myself, they can fuck right off if they're not happy with me.
And you know what? Shit's not even that bad. Sure, I'm an emotional wreck. But really, all my problems have been with relationships, be it friendships or romantically. I still have a few good friends. I still have my best friend. I still have my job. I'm still attending my classes. My art might be in decline, but I still have my creativity. I still have parents who love me, and love each other. I still have my family.
And, most importantly, I still have myself.
I've been through a lot of shit recently. A few months ago, my girlfriend of two years left me for my best friend. I made good friends with some people, and now due to very little fault of my own they all hate me. They treat me like shit, and think I'm beyond pathetic, and want to do everything in their power to ruin me. I found out that a girl I've liked for years liked me back, but I got ahead of myself (again) and threw myself on my ass.
This is a lot of shit for one person to deal with, especially because I honestly don't have that many trustworthy friends right now. In fact, I feel like it was such a fucking mistake to trust these people that I'm ready to just say fuck it and never trust anyone with anything.
But I'm still here. I'm standing ON TOP of a mountain of ashes. Burn me all you want, assholes, you can't stop me.
I AM FUCKING INVINCIBLE.
Many people I know, having been through what I'm going through, would not be standing. I know many people who would kill themselves, cut themselves, drink themselves into oblivion, severely break the law, or even all of the above.
But I'm not one of those people. I'm stronger than that.
I am still here. I've made it this far, I can make it to the end. I CAN SURVIVE ANYTHING.
I am transparent. Sure, my closet has skeletons. Whose doesn't? But why bother with secrets? If there's something about me that's true, then FUCK YOU if you have a problem with it. I'm not going to hide from my own truths. Anyone who's bothered by my past or my nightmares isn't worth my time.
That's it, right there. These friends I just lost are bothered by the way I think, and what I've done. I'm happy with myself. I'm not failing all my classes, I have a job, I still have some decent friends left. They can call me pathetic all they want, I'm better than them. I'm happy with myself, they can fuck right off if they're not happy with me.
And you know what? Shit's not even that bad. Sure, I'm an emotional wreck. But really, all my problems have been with relationships, be it friendships or romantically. I still have a few good friends. I still have my best friend. I still have my job. I'm still attending my classes. My art might be in decline, but I still have my creativity. I still have parents who love me, and love each other. I still have my family.
And, most importantly, I still have myself.