On edge...even while sleeping.
For the past couple of weeks, I haven't been sleeping well. I've gotten almost no sleep this weekend in particular. Try as hard as I might to sleep, one of three things tends to happen each night:
1) I toss and turn all night long. Stress and lots of it. Something's always on my mind, pestering me. Five minutes of sleep here, ten minutes there from the time I crawl into bed to the time my alarm tells me it's time to roll out of bed.
2) I sleep silently, but I wake up exhausted and on edge. These nights, I can't remember my dreams, which is unusual for me.
3) I sleep, but can immediately recall my dreams. And, like the scenario above, I wake up exhausted and on edge...and fragments of those dreams haunt me over the course of the day.
Well, I've come here to share some of these dreams I've been having--and these are quoted from my dream journal:
1) I find myself walking the streets of some unknown city in what appears to be a post-apocalyptic world The buildings, streets, and everything else both physical and inanimate are some shade of grey. The sky is sunless and moonless, however it's a deep shade of crimson. I feel cold, frightened...apprehensive like someone's watching me. I can't see where they're hiding. I swear I can see somebody moving in the dark rooms beyond broken windows. I hear laughing...sometimes it's a soft laughter...sometimes it's hysteric. People noisily appear one by one from alleyways wearing uniforms from work, their faces blurred to the point I can't make out any distinguising features. They've got guns...handguns...rifles...hand held versions of gatling guns...and they're all pointed at me. An indistinguishable whipser travels through the air and they open fire. I can feel the bullets ripping into me, but when I look down, I'm not bleeding. There's no physical evidence I've been shot. I run and hide, dodging in and out of doorless buildings...but whenever I step out into the open, I find them already there waiting for me. The torment doesn't end until I wake up.
2) I find myself in ragged and torn clothes, sitting on a street corner. There's a single steel shackle around my ankle, solid, with no indication of any keyhole or opening mechanism. From that shackle extends a chain which disappears into a hole existing in the foundation of this windowless, concrete building. People walk by, throwing scraps of food, loose change, and other random objects at me. I talk to them, but they either respond in silence and have this disapproving look on their face or I'm told to shut up and kicked to the ground. Rain, snow, sunny...no matter the season or weather, all I can do is just sit there. I don't seem to age either. I don't recall too much else other than this last thing: the chain has quite a bit of slack to it. However, if I stray too far (which isn't far anyway), the chain automatically retracts, pulls my feet out from under me, and drags me back to the edge of the structure, my exposed skin scraping over pavement and whatever else but never breaking.
3) I have everything I could ever wish for and more. Quite literally, I'm king of my world. My posessions and wealth constantly building upon each other through my efforts and my efforts alone. I have no friends here...in fact I've deliberately sent away all forms of companionship. Somehow, I've managed to shoo off everybody in town. I'm living by myself and have everything I'd ever need readily at my side. However, the maintenace of my property starts to catch up to me. I find myself running all over the place repairing utility plants (water, elec, and so on), repairing my own house, etc. Essnetially I work myself to the point of exhaustion because I can't keep up with anything...and end up dying from that very exhaustion.
Ah, the overactive human mind. But seriously, too many more dreams like these and I'll be no good to anybody...the stress in my life needs to go away soon, that way I can return to some sort of normalcy...
1) I toss and turn all night long. Stress and lots of it. Something's always on my mind, pestering me. Five minutes of sleep here, ten minutes there from the time I crawl into bed to the time my alarm tells me it's time to roll out of bed.
2) I sleep silently, but I wake up exhausted and on edge. These nights, I can't remember my dreams, which is unusual for me.
3) I sleep, but can immediately recall my dreams. And, like the scenario above, I wake up exhausted and on edge...and fragments of those dreams haunt me over the course of the day.
Well, I've come here to share some of these dreams I've been having--and these are quoted from my dream journal:
1) I find myself walking the streets of some unknown city in what appears to be a post-apocalyptic world The buildings, streets, and everything else both physical and inanimate are some shade of grey. The sky is sunless and moonless, however it's a deep shade of crimson. I feel cold, frightened...apprehensive like someone's watching me. I can't see where they're hiding. I swear I can see somebody moving in the dark rooms beyond broken windows. I hear laughing...sometimes it's a soft laughter...sometimes it's hysteric. People noisily appear one by one from alleyways wearing uniforms from work, their faces blurred to the point I can't make out any distinguising features. They've got guns...handguns...rifles...hand held versions of gatling guns...and they're all pointed at me. An indistinguishable whipser travels through the air and they open fire. I can feel the bullets ripping into me, but when I look down, I'm not bleeding. There's no physical evidence I've been shot. I run and hide, dodging in and out of doorless buildings...but whenever I step out into the open, I find them already there waiting for me. The torment doesn't end until I wake up.
2) I find myself in ragged and torn clothes, sitting on a street corner. There's a single steel shackle around my ankle, solid, with no indication of any keyhole or opening mechanism. From that shackle extends a chain which disappears into a hole existing in the foundation of this windowless, concrete building. People walk by, throwing scraps of food, loose change, and other random objects at me. I talk to them, but they either respond in silence and have this disapproving look on their face or I'm told to shut up and kicked to the ground. Rain, snow, sunny...no matter the season or weather, all I can do is just sit there. I don't seem to age either. I don't recall too much else other than this last thing: the chain has quite a bit of slack to it. However, if I stray too far (which isn't far anyway), the chain automatically retracts, pulls my feet out from under me, and drags me back to the edge of the structure, my exposed skin scraping over pavement and whatever else but never breaking.
3) I have everything I could ever wish for and more. Quite literally, I'm king of my world. My posessions and wealth constantly building upon each other through my efforts and my efforts alone. I have no friends here...in fact I've deliberately sent away all forms of companionship. Somehow, I've managed to shoo off everybody in town. I'm living by myself and have everything I'd ever need readily at my side. However, the maintenace of my property starts to catch up to me. I find myself running all over the place repairing utility plants (water, elec, and so on), repairing my own house, etc. Essnetially I work myself to the point of exhaustion because I can't keep up with anything...and end up dying from that very exhaustion.
Ah, the overactive human mind. But seriously, too many more dreams like these and I'll be no good to anybody...the stress in my life needs to go away soon, that way I can return to some sort of normalcy...