Personal Journey Pt. 2
This week, I've been paying closer attention to myself. I've paid closer attention to my interactions between people--physical interactions, not this online stuff--and I've learned a few things. It's ironic that I see myself best in the people that I know the best. It's also ironic that I learn about myself the best when I don't share common interests with a person.
It's shame neither of these occured to me when I fell in love. I was putting a potential romance first, wanting to learn about him along the way. That was my mistake. We shared a few similarities, which ended up a catalyst that brought me nowhere faster. I started asking myself questions. How well do I actually know him? How well do I actually know myself? It wasn't until last weekend I realized that these questions were one and the same.
Should we continue to be friends, I want to know what sets us apart from each other. I should have taken the time to know him--his likes, dislikes, the person he was on the surface, the person he was beneath the surface--before looking for romance. Given the circumstances, I know romance is no longer possible. He doesn't see me that way. I no longer see him that way.
If anything, my desire to be his friend has grown stronger. I don't want to be anything else. It's been a slow process, but I've been crossing back over the line from romance to friendship. There's one thing I don't know. Does he want to stay friends or merely acquaintances? That's why I decided to take some time away from him. He needs it as much as I do.
"We need to get our acts together before anything can go anywhere" is what he told me. I know I'm getting mine together.
It's shame neither of these occured to me when I fell in love. I was putting a potential romance first, wanting to learn about him along the way. That was my mistake. We shared a few similarities, which ended up a catalyst that brought me nowhere faster. I started asking myself questions. How well do I actually know him? How well do I actually know myself? It wasn't until last weekend I realized that these questions were one and the same.
Should we continue to be friends, I want to know what sets us apart from each other. I should have taken the time to know him--his likes, dislikes, the person he was on the surface, the person he was beneath the surface--before looking for romance. Given the circumstances, I know romance is no longer possible. He doesn't see me that way. I no longer see him that way.
If anything, my desire to be his friend has grown stronger. I don't want to be anything else. It's been a slow process, but I've been crossing back over the line from romance to friendship. There's one thing I don't know. Does he want to stay friends or merely acquaintances? That's why I decided to take some time away from him. He needs it as much as I do.
"We need to get our acts together before anything can go anywhere" is what he told me. I know I'm getting mine together.