Changing perspectives; adjusting.
Loves,
And I wonder if anybody will notice me watching, come outside from their shells, and see.. how small everything is.
Actually, today has been a very good day, a day in which I have lost the ability (at least temporarily) to feel sadness or loss or pity. It has been wonderful, and I see that my life's problems are not so large and foreboding. So I didn't get into the summer program for my writing abilities, and thus failed my expectations of myself as a writer.
When it happened, I was devastated, but now.. I'm glad. I feel as though that was the sign I needed to show me that I have to improve myself, contantly. Simply staying as I am is not good enough for me!
And now I see that Maja and Nick are having their own angst-festivals for their own reasons... But really, I cannot bring myself to care about their situation. So yes, your heart was ripped out of you? You wish to die and curl into a little ball? You don't want to see anybody anymore?
... It seems so funny now, looking at it. I remember myself feeling like that, or something akin to those emotions, but truly, the reasons behind them have always been too small. I loved, I lost, I got over it and moved on. Of course it's going to hurt. But to wish to end one's life, simply because it has lost its purpose? To yearn for Death's cold fingertips merely because you feel regret and messed up..?
Feh. Have a little faith in your own abilities. Tough it out, and live, dammit. To feel sadness for so long.. is pointless. I've fallen down that hole. I've held that wretched blade as it dangled precariously over my "heart"... Yeah, I know it sucks. But you get over it, if you're strong.
And I ask of you- not just of Maja whom has had a change of hormonal feeling, of Nick whom has foolishly placed his faith in a relationship that hadn't the best of foundations, or of that despicable and uncontrolled part of me whom can prove the writing of this entry hypocritical (wonderful! it means I can see from many points of view!), but of any of you, all of you:
Are you strong?
^__^ Yeah!,
Lephise
And I wonder if anybody will notice me watching, come outside from their shells, and see.. how small everything is.
Actually, today has been a very good day, a day in which I have lost the ability (at least temporarily) to feel sadness or loss or pity. It has been wonderful, and I see that my life's problems are not so large and foreboding. So I didn't get into the summer program for my writing abilities, and thus failed my expectations of myself as a writer.
When it happened, I was devastated, but now.. I'm glad. I feel as though that was the sign I needed to show me that I have to improve myself, contantly. Simply staying as I am is not good enough for me!
And now I see that Maja and Nick are having their own angst-festivals for their own reasons... But really, I cannot bring myself to care about their situation. So yes, your heart was ripped out of you? You wish to die and curl into a little ball? You don't want to see anybody anymore?
... It seems so funny now, looking at it. I remember myself feeling like that, or something akin to those emotions, but truly, the reasons behind them have always been too small. I loved, I lost, I got over it and moved on. Of course it's going to hurt. But to wish to end one's life, simply because it has lost its purpose? To yearn for Death's cold fingertips merely because you feel regret and messed up..?
Feh. Have a little faith in your own abilities. Tough it out, and live, dammit. To feel sadness for so long.. is pointless. I've fallen down that hole. I've held that wretched blade as it dangled precariously over my "heart"... Yeah, I know it sucks. But you get over it, if you're strong.
And I ask of you- not just of Maja whom has had a change of hormonal feeling, of Nick whom has foolishly placed his faith in a relationship that hadn't the best of foundations, or of that despicable and uncontrolled part of me whom can prove the writing of this entry hypocritical (wonderful! it means I can see from many points of view!), but of any of you, all of you:
Are you strong?
^__^ Yeah!,
Lephise