note to self

[the_mad_mantra]

I find this town to be inexorably constricting. I am physically and mentally inanimate to the point of exhaustive discomfort. Discomfort with where I am; discomfort with the ease with which I rationalize settling until some moment at which I am free of my obligations. I don't know what I expect to happen when I graduate, but the rapid pace at which it is approaching overwhelms me into stunned suspension of place and time; rigidly free floating in a frictionless void that I cannot contend with or struggle against. I find apathy repulsive, yet am refused the ability to change the sequence of events my mind dooms itself to mechanically follow without inspiration. I am becoming too lazy to read, too lazy to write, too lazy to think about things of importance, too lazy to capture that vile, fuzzy, winged, mothy abomination that is circling my head like a vulture.

So, as per any true moment of lucidity, I fire up my old livejournal. I will hold myself accountable and we will never speak of this again.