longest entry ever? i think so. SAWGRASS, here i come.
life... it's been so complicated lately.
my mom has to take my grandpa everyday to either chemo, radiation, or some doctor's appointment.. or he gets really sick at home and falls down or something, and has to be taken to the doctors or hospital. with my grandma blind, my mom also has to transport her which puts more stress on my mom.
it doesn't help when your parents are leaders of an organization at your church where you lead an annual christmas event... putting up a tree in the lobby and putting "ornaments" on the tree... saying "Ronny - Age 9 - Gift Ideas: Remote Control Car". yeah, it's nice that my parents help hundreds of poor children each year (or at least for the last few years) with getting them gifts, but it is different when you barely see your parents anymore. all my mom does now is complain and complain and complain. and she doesn't even realize she puts herself into the mess of helping these kids. i haven't had a real dinner for a couple weeks. before bekah and alli came home from college, i was eating fast food for dinner 5 nights in a row. i don't mind that my grandpa is sick and she has to help him, but this whole church thing. it controls my mom and dads life. people at my church buy gifts for the kids, but we have to unwrap them to make sure they're good enough... and then wrap them back up, or go out and use giftcards that were donated and buy those gifts.
my house. usually interior-decorated with festive christmas things. this year? only a christmas tree that i had to decorate with ornaments by myself. fire place? yeah only stockings... but where is the reef? the little statues? the green grassy/bush stuff on the mantle? my mom has gone nuts. all she does is yell at me. when i try to help, RAWR. and what do i do? cry. because i'm an emotional girl who can't stand that kind of stuff.
my sisters and i only get one gift this year. and then my parents are giving us money to go shopping down near miami at sawgrass mall. we leave christmas day. well my dad, bekah, and i leave. i don't know if alli wants to go. she doesn't want to leave christmas day and isaac, my brother, "can't stand seeing grandpa sick" so my mom has to stay home. that means... yet again, my mom won't see nanni.. who is like my dad's mom basically. it just sucks. it's supposed to be family time, but instead we have to help other people.. and this is breaking away my family. piece by piece. because my grandpa's sickness, my mom doesn't work anymore... i went over texting, so my mom screamed in my face today. i haven't even talked to her, like had a real conversation. maybe she should open up her eyes and see that us kids are helping her. we go out to walmart, target, sams club, where-ever to get these gifts, but we just get yelled at.
thank god i start drivers ed because once i get my license, i'll take my car out anytime i want to...
miami, sawgrass, deerfield beach, here i come. shopping... without mom which sucks. but at least i don't have to hear my parents bicker.
sorry for the long entry, but i have no one else or anything else to rant to.