43.3 Make Your Own
Thirteen (Semi-)Rational Reasons for an (Ir-)Rational Hatred of Tinkerbell
1. Designer, one-piece, leaf dress.
2. The shoes. Pearls that big compared too a body that small that has to get airborne would be like lugging around boulders on your feet.
3. The wings. I know faeries with insect wings. Few humans don't find something disturbing about the places on their bodies where mammalian flesh turns to chitin. Glamour is the only thing that keeps the prey part of the average human who sees them from running in terror. It's part of why the larger fae with such wings keep them hidden. They may be beautiful, but they aren't 'cute'.
4. If the twit were an actual faerie, she'd be the worst kind of Seelie.
5. She's an idiot. Most pixies aren't the brightest things with wings, but she takes the cake.
6. The woman is a pedophile or just waiting for her chance. She's an adult woman who is fixated and possesive of a young boy. She spends her every moment with him and is painfully jealous of his crush on someone age appropriate. Put it together, people.
7. Catch one of my pixies from the air without a thick leather gloves or something they're afraid of, you will be suffering from many, many, wounds and possibly missing fingers.
8. If one of my pixies sprinkles you with a powder and you find yourself flying on happy thoughts, you've either been drugged or poisoned and it won't be the lost boys that raided your valuables.
9. The play was bad enough when it became popular, btu the movie is just grossly and blatantly speciest. I swear I should have cursed Disney for it when he was still alive.
10. All the painful spin offs and merchandise that are completely forbidden in my house.
11. Do you have any idea how many people I've had to kill or managle to let them know that no, I'm not that kind of faerie?
12. 'Tink' has become a slurr in Tir na n'Og on par with your human one of choice. 'Tinkerbelle' is slang for a faeire hooker who only works with humans.
13. Despite not being a few inches tall, blond, or possesing dragonfly wings I have been asked more times than I can count if I was 'like Tinkerbell'.
[You have no idea how much the mun wishes this little rant resided in the land of meta, or that this was the extent of the list....]
1. Designer, one-piece, leaf dress.
2. The shoes. Pearls that big compared too a body that small that has to get airborne would be like lugging around boulders on your feet.
3. The wings. I know faeries with insect wings. Few humans don't find something disturbing about the places on their bodies where mammalian flesh turns to chitin. Glamour is the only thing that keeps the prey part of the average human who sees them from running in terror. It's part of why the larger fae with such wings keep them hidden. They may be beautiful, but they aren't 'cute'.
4. If the twit were an actual faerie, she'd be the worst kind of Seelie.
5. She's an idiot. Most pixies aren't the brightest things with wings, but she takes the cake.
6. The woman is a pedophile or just waiting for her chance. She's an adult woman who is fixated and possesive of a young boy. She spends her every moment with him and is painfully jealous of his crush on someone age appropriate. Put it together, people.
7. Catch one of my pixies from the air without a thick leather gloves or something they're afraid of, you will be suffering from many, many, wounds and possibly missing fingers.
8. If one of my pixies sprinkles you with a powder and you find yourself flying on happy thoughts, you've either been drugged or poisoned and it won't be the lost boys that raided your valuables.
9. The play was bad enough when it became popular, btu the movie is just grossly and blatantly speciest. I swear I should have cursed Disney for it when he was still alive.
10. All the painful spin offs and merchandise that are completely forbidden in my house.
11. Do you have any idea how many people I've had to kill or managle to let them know that no, I'm not that kind of faerie?
12. 'Tink' has become a slurr in Tir na n'Og on par with your human one of choice. 'Tinkerbelle' is slang for a faeire hooker who only works with humans.
13. Despite not being a few inches tall, blond, or possesing dragonfly wings I have been asked more times than I can count if I was 'like Tinkerbell'.
[You have no idea how much the mun wishes this little rant resided in the land of meta, or that this was the extent of the list....]