life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride.
Thanksgiving wasn't all that i thought it would be. it was actually kind of depressing. i didn't even eat a lot at dinner, and my mom decides to bring down the whole "festive spirit" thing we had going and says,
"you guys realize that this will probably be our last thanksgiving together?"
which might be true, but damnit, she didn't have to say it. Ryan's moving to Iowa in the summer, AJ will be at State still, i'll be off to college, at Northwood most likely, and my mom and dad will be all alone here. my mom says,
"you guys will get girlfriends and a boyfriend and we'll never see you on Thanksgiving anymore."
oh my goshhhhhhhh. it wasn't necessary at all. just got me thinking more about the future. i think too much about the future. i can't do anything to stop fate, if i even believe in that shit.
i got to hang out with Kendell for the first time in a long time, just me and her. (i drove out to her house Friday night after trekking the mall with Samantha for a birthday gift for AJ.) we sat around mostly, but we talked and caught up and laughed and ate a lot, just like we used to. it felt really good and not even weird, so that was really cool.
and Saturday night. a bunch of the girls went out to Applebee's for April's birthday. i know not everyone in the class was invited, but i wasn't really doing the planning. so it was kind of disappointing that all my friends that i hang out with weren't there, but a majority of them were. so, there was the birthday girl -- April, Heather, Lynsay, Stephanie, Alecia, Katie Trep, Katie Swiercz, Missy, Bridget, Laura, Kristen, Jamie, Shannon, Kendell, Kymber, Kelsey, and myself. (and we also saw Mr. Durbin and his family, and Warren and some people, and even my cheating ex-boyfriend's mom and brother. AWKWARD!) but we all had dinner and went to the Janer's afterward and just sat around and watched football, and played Catchphrase, and talked about everything. it was really cool to have so many people bonding.
my love life has been a roller coaster ride this past year. i finally got a boyfriend at the beginning of 11th grade, and since then i had been getting into serious relationships and i kept ending them after so many months because i just got bored. my other motive was that i didn't want my heart to get broken. then this summer, it finally happened. i was the dumpee, and i was devastated. but i decided to give this boy a call after i broke up with Taylor. and well, we're on take two now. when we had broke up the first time, i really and truly never got over him. as soon as the break up happened, i was never sleeping. my mom had to buy me sleeping pills so i could fall asleep at night. and when i did sleep, i only dreamt about him. i always found myself comparing other guys to him and wondering what he was up to and why it ended. and it sounds ridciulous because i only knew him for three weeks, but when your heart is THAT sore for a person, that wanting, it must be love. i think it's finally happened, i really and truly think i love a person. and now we're together again, not officially, but it's been really great and he's honestly changed a lot. i can tell. and he makes me feel like a princess when i'm with him. but there's always that down part on a roller coaster ride, and those are the worst times. sometimes i just feel insignificant but it doesn't take me long to get over it. i'm usually pretty good with my optimism.
i really must be getting in touch with my feminine side, because i have been the most emotional girl ever since senior year started. i've cried more times this year than i have in my whole life. i'm also feeling things i never have before. maybe i've matured?
i hope so. because i like it.
"you guys realize that this will probably be our last thanksgiving together?"
which might be true, but damnit, she didn't have to say it. Ryan's moving to Iowa in the summer, AJ will be at State still, i'll be off to college, at Northwood most likely, and my mom and dad will be all alone here. my mom says,
"you guys will get girlfriends and a boyfriend and we'll never see you on Thanksgiving anymore."
oh my goshhhhhhhh. it wasn't necessary at all. just got me thinking more about the future. i think too much about the future. i can't do anything to stop fate, if i even believe in that shit.
i got to hang out with Kendell for the first time in a long time, just me and her. (i drove out to her house Friday night after trekking the mall with Samantha for a birthday gift for AJ.) we sat around mostly, but we talked and caught up and laughed and ate a lot, just like we used to. it felt really good and not even weird, so that was really cool.
and Saturday night. a bunch of the girls went out to Applebee's for April's birthday. i know not everyone in the class was invited, but i wasn't really doing the planning. so it was kind of disappointing that all my friends that i hang out with weren't there, but a majority of them were. so, there was the birthday girl -- April, Heather, Lynsay, Stephanie, Alecia, Katie Trep, Katie Swiercz, Missy, Bridget, Laura, Kristen, Jamie, Shannon, Kendell, Kymber, Kelsey, and myself. (and we also saw Mr. Durbin and his family, and Warren and some people, and even my cheating ex-boyfriend's mom and brother. AWKWARD!) but we all had dinner and went to the Janer's afterward and just sat around and watched football, and played Catchphrase, and talked about everything. it was really cool to have so many people bonding.
my love life has been a roller coaster ride this past year. i finally got a boyfriend at the beginning of 11th grade, and since then i had been getting into serious relationships and i kept ending them after so many months because i just got bored. my other motive was that i didn't want my heart to get broken. then this summer, it finally happened. i was the dumpee, and i was devastated. but i decided to give this boy a call after i broke up with Taylor. and well, we're on take two now. when we had broke up the first time, i really and truly never got over him. as soon as the break up happened, i was never sleeping. my mom had to buy me sleeping pills so i could fall asleep at night. and when i did sleep, i only dreamt about him. i always found myself comparing other guys to him and wondering what he was up to and why it ended. and it sounds ridciulous because i only knew him for three weeks, but when your heart is THAT sore for a person, that wanting, it must be love. i think it's finally happened, i really and truly think i love a person. and now we're together again, not officially, but it's been really great and he's honestly changed a lot. i can tell. and he makes me feel like a princess when i'm with him. but there's always that down part on a roller coaster ride, and those are the worst times. sometimes i just feel insignificant but it doesn't take me long to get over it. i'm usually pretty good with my optimism.
i really must be getting in touch with my feminine side, because i have been the most emotional girl ever since senior year started. i've cried more times this year than i have in my whole life. i'm also feeling things i never have before. maybe i've matured?
i hope so. because i like it.