It was difficult to be a single mother. Especially when that mother had to have a full-time job. That was what Akiko felt having to raise her son by herself after his father had simply up and left them. Shido handled it admirably. He was a good student, obedient, and did his chores without complaint
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Her son. Had a crush. On her. Akiko had to take deep breaths to stop herself from freaking out and doing something stupid like yelling at him after she had said she wouldn't be mad. If anything, she should be proud he told the truth. That wasn't an easy secret to deal with.
Although it wasn't something completely unheard of among young men. After all, their mother was their first love, and they grew up not knowing the difference between that and other types of love in their younger years. It shouldn't be too surprising that that might carry over into their teenage years.
After a long moment, she poured herself another cup of sake, then realized she should probably say something.
"Shido...I...well, that's a big shock to me, I hope you understand that," she said, lifting her eyes finally to his bright red face and that expression nearly broke her heart. "I'm not angry. I'm worried. I know why you didn't talk to me sooner about it, but, it's good to know now. It makes sense, in some ways. You've had to be your own father and the man of the house. And maybe I haven't done my duty as a mother properly. Maybe I've been too overbearing?"
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When she began to doubt herself, he quickly shook his head.
"N-no, you're a great mom! You haven't done anything wrong!"
But how could he admit this all happened because he looked at a porno, and the woman featured in it reminded him a bit too much of his doting mother? And when he'd come home from school, fresh off being rejected or scorned by girls his age, only to be hugged and smiled at by his beautiful mother?
"I'm just... w-weird. I... c-c-can't stop looking at you, you're so beautiful, and it's making me think weird things and not know how to talk to you without... worrying I'd make an ass out of myself." He admitted, barely above a whisper as he did his best to keep his eyes meeting her own, his cheeks on fire not only from his shame, but from the sake still working its way through his system.
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"You're not weird, Shido," she said, and she actually believed it too. "Maybe it's just because you really haven't had a chance to be with girls your age?"
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"I g-guess after awhile, I just told myself since you're already so nice to me and so gorgeous, I didn't need to bother with all the immature girls at school..." He admitted, picking through his mind for the whys of it.
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"Shido..." she started, then paused, frowning when he looked away. She lifted her hand to touch his shoulder trying to get him to look back at her. "What do you think we should do about this? What will help?"
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"I... I don't know. I know it's dumb, it's wrong, it can't work out...."
There was a 'but' there but he didn't vocalize it, biting his lower lip as he looked at her - her beautiful face. God she was so gorgeous it took his breath away sometimes. Just as it did now, his breathing stopping a brief moment, as did his beating heart.
Like admitting a crush to a girl he liked, except with a lot more at stake than normal.
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But she couldn't do that. Still, she had to do something to help her son. She couldn't stand to see him in such agony. Especially when that was agony caused by her.
"It wouldn't work out," she murmured, brow furrowing thoughtfully. A solution came up, but every since social moral she had been raised with screamed in protest. "It is wrong. But. Maybe if you had one night with...with me, you'd realize I'm not what you want in that way."
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"W... what...? You... mom you don't... I mean..." He had no idea how to respond. She was his mother, he loved her to death. He wouldn't want to take advantage of her... but she was also a woman, a gorgeous woman who had it sounded like, just offered herself to a teenage boy.
"Ugh I don't want to... make you do something you don't want... I'd feel awful!" He exclaimed. Though his heart was racing at the thought of having her at least, the part that loved her as a son was scared, nervous, and not wanting to hurt his mother over his weird... urges.
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"Shido, you have no reason to feel awful. I want to, if it means helping you. You're the most important person to me, and I don't think I could handle losing you because of something like this."
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But he shot his eyes right back up to meet hers. "You have to promise nothing changes, ok? No matter what happens... I don't want to lose you either, mom."
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"I promise," she said firmly, "You'll always be my Shido. I love you."
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"So... um... w-what should I...?" He began, uncertain where to go from here. A virgin through and through.
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"We could try a...a kiss and go from there," Akiko suggested, hand moving from his cheek to cup his chin, tilting his head towards her so she could lean in and, after a beat of hesitation, brushed her lips lightly over his.
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When he felt her lips to his, he felt like he might melt, her soft lips brushing over his and making him let out a quiet moan of excitement already, that made him blush furiously. "S-sorry..." he said quickly to that, his hands still fidgeting, not sure where to go though knowing exactly where they wanted to be.
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"It's all right," she murmured. Now that she had already taken the leap, she might as well keep going, right? She pressed her lips more firmly against his mouth, wanting him to get used to the sensation.
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But he tried to relax, to get used to the feeling of the kiss. Closing his eyes and letting himself be lost in the feeling of it, the warmth of her.
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