And the Tank He Rode In On
Becaus star_lin was curious.
Title: And the Tank He Rode In On
Author the_lost_robot
Continuity: post 2007, AU, TF:A, G1, IDW and whole mess of fanon concepts
Warnings: None
Rating: K
Characters: Simmons, Roller, Epps, Lennox
Summary: Simmons meets Roller. Things degenerate from there.
Notes: Continuation to Optimus and Prime
Simmons stared. He blinked once. The image before him did not disappear.
“This is Prime?” he squawked incredulously.
It was a tank. A non-sentient tank, if he understood correctly. Except it was also capable of ‘independent thought’...? It sounded like a disastrous combination if he’d ever heard one and the metaphysics hurt his brain just thinking about it. There were times when Simmons just flat-out did not understand the aliens.
“Yep,” Epps was smug, the bastard. “This is Roller.”
“Roller,” Simmons parroted blankly, “What-?”
Lennox sported a shit-earing grin, “Because Optimus is not bad-ass enough by himself.”
Simmons shot the two a sharp glance. It did not stop them.
“Taking the children was a bad idea,” the sergeant deepened his voice into an approximation of Optimus. Simmons didn’t know who had told the two soldiers the story but he would find out and make their lives extremely uncomfortable. It was probably the Witwicky kid.
It was always the Witwicky kid.
“Now imagine that scene and add a tank into it, backing Optimus up,” Lennox continued.
“And the Combat Deck,” Epps reminded his CO.
“And the Combat Deck.”
It sounded like a nightmare. After getting to know Optimus and what he was capable of, Simmons woke up every day constantly amazed that he’d made it through that encounter alive. And all his subsequent ones as well, given what he had done to Bumblebee.
“I think Optimus would have looked really, really bad-ass,” Epps affirmed.
“You mean, Optimus Prime would have looked exceptionally bad-ass,” Lennox corrected.
Simmons glared. The tank didn’t move but somehow he swore it was suddenly intently focused on him. Now Optimus and the rest of the Autobots may have worked their way around the bad start they’d gotten off on but he wasn’t about to trust the non-sentient tank. Somehow he had the distinct impression that it didn’t like him and he decided a strategic retreat was in order. He ignored the low chuckles as he backed away slowly.
Then the barrel of Roller’s turret rotated menacingly and he couldn’t help himself, dignity be dammed, he turned tail and ran.
End
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