Friends can suck. This is the truth. And being afraid of being without friends sucks more.
I know this brings little or not consolation to you, but I know where you are. You are just before your breaking point. when you finally give up the fight of biting your tongue.
You'll start sounding bitter and mean to your friends, you'll chew them out for every little thing. Some will walk away, leaving you. Other they will storm off and say "what the hell's wrong with you" but those who storm off will cool down and ask the question less angrily. "What is the hell wrong with you?" I know it doesn't sound much better, but those few friends are the ones that will and do care. They are going to be there no matter what. And sometimes it takes finally losing your cool to find them.
As an outsider to your life for these many years, I always ask you how you are when I get a chance to talk to you. And I'm not interested in just hearing you are just "okay." I have an issue that I am loyal and love all my friends no matter how long it has been since I've talked or seen them.
I haven't seen Bekki or any of her posse and/or the friends I associate with her in years. And I smile to see an updated profile on Facebook for anyone of them. And I love to hear of successes and failures. I love to hear of their lives, even the silly seemingly insignificant things.
But as I said, I know where you are. Because I've been there. I've done that. And I lost many people that I called friends because of it. But when the dust settled, I had a few, a very small number, go "okay, well aren't you the queen of everything. glad you got that out?" And some of them I've had to prove the strength of my friendship again, just like when we started out, but we are stronger, and my relationships with them are more meaningful then they ever have.
Stay strong how ever long you can. Do whatever you think you can do. Handle it for as long as you think you must.
Know that even I'm never around, and you haven't seen me in years, and you probably don't even remember what I look like, I remember you. And hearing your rant, as dark and upset as it is, makes me smile.
Friends can suck. This is the truth. And being afraid of being without friends sucks more.
I know this brings little or not consolation to you, but I know where you are. You are just before your breaking point. when you finally give up the fight of biting your tongue.
You'll start sounding bitter and mean to your friends, you'll chew them out for every little thing. Some will walk away, leaving you. Other they will storm off and say "what the hell's wrong with you" but those who storm off will cool down and ask the question less angrily. "What is the hell wrong with you?" I know it doesn't sound much better, but those few friends are the ones that will and do care. They are going to be there no matter what. And sometimes it takes finally losing your cool to find them.
As an outsider to your life for these many years, I always ask you how you are when I get a chance to talk to you. And I'm not interested in just hearing you are just "okay." I have an issue that I am loyal and love all my friends no matter how long it has been since I've talked or seen them.
I haven't seen Bekki or any of her posse and/or the friends I associate with her in years. And I smile to see an updated profile on Facebook for anyone of them. And I love to hear of successes and failures. I love to hear of their lives, even the silly seemingly insignificant things.
But as I said, I know where you are. Because I've been there. I've done that. And I lost many people that I called friends because of it. But when the dust settled, I had a few, a very small number, go "okay, well aren't you the queen of everything. glad you got that out?" And some of them I've had to prove the strength of my friendship again, just like when we started out, but we are stronger, and my relationships with them are more meaningful then they ever have.
Stay strong how ever long you can. Do whatever you think you can do. Handle it for as long as you think you must.
Know that even I'm never around, and you haven't seen me in years, and you probably don't even remember what I look like, I remember you. And hearing your rant, as dark and upset as it is, makes me smile.
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