(no subject)
I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.
- Anna Freud
Well, I received my second e-mail! I'm very happy with the warm welcome I've been given into LiveJournal. You are all too kind. Really.
The second e-mailer wished to remain anonymous as well. Not only that, but asked me not to post their e-mail at all. Since there is no purpose of having this journal without posting my advice, I will go ahead and post a summary of the e-mail I received and then my full response.
Dear Dr. Katherine,
A friend and I have had a falling out. Our friendship was very good, but now we barely ever talk. How can I regain her friendship without compromising my current friendships?
Sincerely,
An LJ user in need.
Dear Needy on LJ,
Your situation is hard to go through. When friends have a parting of the way, sometimes there can be no reconciliation. Other times there can be. The only way you can make it clear that you want to make things right is just to come forward and say so. Tell your friend you'd like to move past this, that you're sorry if she got hurt, and that your friendship means more to you than whatever happened.
Sometimes, even if we are right, we have to swallow our pride and apologize if the person who is mad at us means more to us than being right does. That's a choice you have to make, and no one can make it for you.
As far as not compromising your current friendships to regain your old one, it is difficult to give you advice on that without knowing a bit more. Are your other friends the reason you had a fight? Are you afraid you'll ignore your other friends if you are able to repair your relationship with this friend? If those are the case, you have to learn to balance yourself. You'll have to make sure you make it clear to all your friends that you don't choose sides. It can be very hard to balance two sets of friends who do not get along, but if you want to keep both of them, you'll have to find a way.
Remember, it takes two people to have a successful friendship, so if your friend doesn't want to make the effort on her side, then there is nothing you'll be able to do about it. In this case, you'll have to move on. Though this can be a painful process, it will make you stronger, and you'll come out the other end of it capable of building and sustaining stronger friendships and relationships with others.
Good luck with your friends!
Yours in therapy,
Dr. Katherine Ward
The LJ Psychologist
-----
I would also like to comment on the "Lust Anon-Meme" I saw. You are all some horny little buggers aren't you? All of this harbored lust every which way you turn! My, oh my, it's like a co-ed shower. Remember, masturbation is a healthy way to release some of these pent up hormones, and it is perfectly natural.
If you need someone to talk about these feelings with, you know I am always here. Perhaps I could recommend a few devices to assist you?
As always, I leave you with the note that you can e-mail me, or you can leave an anonymous comment. By the way, I find it most humorous that some of you are commenting, only to delete after I've replied. I really do hope you realize it's perfectly within my rights to repost your comment within another entry. So from now on, do try to make sure you don't leave a comment unless you intend for it to stay there.
One last thing: I'll be holding an all day chat on Thursday on AOL Instant Messenger. I'll be posting the link to the chat in an entry that day, and you will all be welcome to come in and talk to me! I feel a group therapy session could do you all a world of good.
Have a lovely day!
Disclaimer: Katherine Ward is not a real doctor or a real person. She is a figment of The Creators’ imaginations. She is here for entertainment purposes only. Though, she does give fantastic advice if you take her up on it. As for The Creators themselves… let’s just leave it at this:
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!
- The Wizard of Oz
- Anna Freud
Well, I received my second e-mail! I'm very happy with the warm welcome I've been given into LiveJournal. You are all too kind. Really.
The second e-mailer wished to remain anonymous as well. Not only that, but asked me not to post their e-mail at all. Since there is no purpose of having this journal without posting my advice, I will go ahead and post a summary of the e-mail I received and then my full response.
Dear Dr. Katherine,
A friend and I have had a falling out. Our friendship was very good, but now we barely ever talk. How can I regain her friendship without compromising my current friendships?
Sincerely,
An LJ user in need.
Dear Needy on LJ,
Your situation is hard to go through. When friends have a parting of the way, sometimes there can be no reconciliation. Other times there can be. The only way you can make it clear that you want to make things right is just to come forward and say so. Tell your friend you'd like to move past this, that you're sorry if she got hurt, and that your friendship means more to you than whatever happened.
Sometimes, even if we are right, we have to swallow our pride and apologize if the person who is mad at us means more to us than being right does. That's a choice you have to make, and no one can make it for you.
As far as not compromising your current friendships to regain your old one, it is difficult to give you advice on that without knowing a bit more. Are your other friends the reason you had a fight? Are you afraid you'll ignore your other friends if you are able to repair your relationship with this friend? If those are the case, you have to learn to balance yourself. You'll have to make sure you make it clear to all your friends that you don't choose sides. It can be very hard to balance two sets of friends who do not get along, but if you want to keep both of them, you'll have to find a way.
Remember, it takes two people to have a successful friendship, so if your friend doesn't want to make the effort on her side, then there is nothing you'll be able to do about it. In this case, you'll have to move on. Though this can be a painful process, it will make you stronger, and you'll come out the other end of it capable of building and sustaining stronger friendships and relationships with others.
Good luck with your friends!
Yours in therapy,
Dr. Katherine Ward
The LJ Psychologist
-----
I would also like to comment on the "Lust Anon-Meme" I saw. You are all some horny little buggers aren't you? All of this harbored lust every which way you turn! My, oh my, it's like a co-ed shower. Remember, masturbation is a healthy way to release some of these pent up hormones, and it is perfectly natural.
If you need someone to talk about these feelings with, you know I am always here. Perhaps I could recommend a few devices to assist you?
As always, I leave you with the note that you can e-mail me, or you can leave an anonymous comment. By the way, I find it most humorous that some of you are commenting, only to delete after I've replied. I really do hope you realize it's perfectly within my rights to repost your comment within another entry. So from now on, do try to make sure you don't leave a comment unless you intend for it to stay there.
One last thing: I'll be holding an all day chat on Thursday on AOL Instant Messenger. I'll be posting the link to the chat in an entry that day, and you will all be welcome to come in and talk to me! I feel a group therapy session could do you all a world of good.
Have a lovely day!
Disclaimer: Katherine Ward is not a real doctor or a real person. She is a figment of The Creators’ imaginations. She is here for entertainment purposes only. Though, she does give fantastic advice if you take her up on it. As for The Creators themselves… let’s just leave it at this:
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!
- The Wizard of Oz