can you feel this? 3
Title: Can you yet again feel this? (3)
Author: ratherbrightred
Pairing: Baldwin/Balian
Rating: nc-17!
Summary: An unabashedly plotless, sex-driven lepic. This exciting chapter: Tiberias reveals his tendency to be accidentally het (so, um, really brief mention of things het), Balian continues to have dirty thoughts in the vegetable garden.
A/N: Oh God, I can't stop writing this! I have other things I should be doing. Give me strength to back away slowly from the leppy!sex...look here for the previous parts. For those of you who want to proudly advertise your affiliation with the Baldwin Porn bus, I give you: the bus. Drivers wanted.
and a disclaimer: Obviously Baldwin & Balian are not gay together, although Baldwin doesn't have much of a choice, given that the only woman in the film is his sister. None of these characters belong to me, and I mean no offense. Be sure to investigate the list of leprosy charities in the header for part one, as leprosy is very real, although my fic is not.
I woke when I heard his voice, soft but firm. "What did I tell you?" he said, pulling away from me. I was hard, and had been pushing my cock into the soft silky space just below his bottom.
"I'm sorry, my lord, but-"
"What did I say?"
Tiberias. I opened one eye. Tiberias clutched some papers, and looked very apprehensive in general. Baldwin extricated himself from my arms and stood up. I couldn't help but notice the large stain on the front of his robe where his come had dried despite his efforts to wipe it off. I smiled, burying my head in my pillow. "Would you like to change, my lord?" Tiberias asked, his face coloring slightly.
"No," Baldwin said tersely, taking the papers and sitting at a small desk to look them over. That chair hadn't been there last night. He must have moved it to force me to sit on the bed. Sneaky little man. I pulled the maroon monstrosity over my head and sorted through Baldwin's closet, finding a simple blue silk robe and taking it over to him.
"Stand up," I whispered.
"I'm fine," Baldwin said, sounding very irritated.
I leaned closer to him. "You're a mess."
He looked down, then stood and let me wrap the robe around his shoulders. I returned to bed and poured myself some tea, which had been replaced in our sleep. It wasn't quite hot, but warm was good. I thought about offering some to Tiberias, but I noticed how he was carefully studying a spot on the floor and decided not to interrupt him.
"I'm very sorry," Tiberias said again, taking the papers when Baldwin held them out to him. Baldwin just held up his hand. "But," Tiberias continued, "there will be occasional business you will have to attend to, despite your, um, current engagements."
"Well, then you may come in if you must."
"I'd rather…I would…that is to say…I'd rather not. I don't want to…interrupt."
"That's the risk you take," Baldwin said shortly. Tiberias settled his gaze on the pile of vegetables on the side table and paled noticeably.
"They're just vegetables," I said innocently, pulling up the sheet so Baldwin could settle in beside me. His head found its favorite spot under my chin, and he rested his hand on my stomach, looking up at Tiberias.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Tiberias asked, looking genuinely pained. "Remember when I was trotting those awful prostitutes in here every damn night? I kept thinking I just hadn't found the right one. Why didn't you say something?"
"A number of them were quite companionable," Baldwin said. "Sit down, Tiberias, since you appear to be staying."
Tiberias dragged the desk chair over and sat beside the bed. He really seemed to want an answer. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It isn’t something I can discuss openly."
"But you could have told me to stop it with the whores."
"I did tell you to stop it."
"I don't remember that."
"I said, please stop sending these women to my room every night. But you liked them too well."
Tiberias blushed, and Baldwin pointed at him, laughing. "At last, you admit it! You bedded the lot of them. I even heard you once. You said, 'well, did you do it?,' and you knew perfectly well we hadn't because you'd been spying on us through the curtains." Tiberias was beet red. "And she said, 'no, we played chess and talked about poetry,' and you said, 'well, I am paying you perfectly good money, so is it all right if I have a go?' and she gave in to your delicate, charming way of putting things, and then if I'm not mistaken, you had your way with her on the couch in the vestibule."
"Well, yes, occasionally-"
"Occasionally. Ha. Every damn time, except for the big tall one with tattoos."
"I just thought you might like her, is all. Seemed rather, I don't know, mannish."
"So you suspected."
"No, I was just trying to expose you to the range of possibilities."
"That explains the midget and the enormously fat one."
"They were both exceptional in bed, my lord."
Baldwin snorted. "I bet."
"The fat one especially." Tiberias licked his lips. "I love a girl with a little meat on her."
Baldwin sighed. Tiberias stared off into space, reminiscing.
"Tiberias told me that some people think you have a silver penis," I said, trying to liven up the conversation. Tiberias looked at me sharply.
"Truly?" Baldwin asked. "Who says this?"
"The men, sir. The soldiers. It's, um, respectful. No harm meant by it."
"Well. That's fascinating. Maybe I should have a silver penis. Would you like that, Balian?"
I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. "I like you as you are."
"How sweet of you," Baldwin said, rubbing his hand in slow circles on my stomach. I felt myself hardening. The silver penis did kind of excite me. I took a sip of tea, trying not to embarrass myself in front of Tiberias. Baldwin's hand moved lower, discretely gathering up the hem of my robe until he could run the tip of his wrapped finger up and down my cock. I looked out the window, trying to think unpleasant thoughts and stave off my next leper-induced orgasm.
"I'll be going, then," Tiberias said after a very long pause interrupted only by a stifled moan on my part. Baldwin didn't say anything. Tiberias gathered up his papers, glanced at the vegetables one last time, and was gone.
"Silver," Baldwin said contemplatively. "I might enjoy that."
I was not able to speak, but I nodded, spreading my legs and pushing my hips into his hand.
He pulled away, picking up a fresh carrot from the pile and handing it to me. I fumbled around in my pocket for the vial of oil and coated the carrot generously, handing it back to him and wiping the rest of the oil between my legs. I kicked my knees up and watched him tease me with the tip of the carrot, circling it around my entrance. His eyes were wide, curious, and his free hand rested on my thigh, rubbing against me in small circles as he slowly pushed the carrot inside.
"Tip it toward you," I whispered, crying out as he found the spot I'd been telling him about. He pulled away, apologizing. "No, no, that was good, do it again. Please, do it again." He obliged, his eyes widening further as I started moving my hips against the intrusion. His hand returned to my cock, staying near the base so he didn't wet his bandages.
"You've done this before," he said, watching the way I moved against him. I handed him a cucumber and nodded, moaning as he pushed it in slowly, then a few minutes later, to my surprise and delight, added the tip of the carrot as well. "With many…men?"
"Not so many. A few." I was breathless, aching to touch myself. "Please, may I-" I moved my hand to my cock and he nodded, watching me. I heard him make a small sound, and, always the creative lover, had another brilliant idea. "Wait," I said. "Stop." He did, and I pulled him up so he knelt in front of me. I pulled my robe over my head, a button snapping off in my haste, and let it fall to the ground, too impatient to give it further attention. I undid the pale blue robe I'd forced him into earlier, and dropped to my hands and knees in front of him, lowering myself to my elbows. I reached between my legs and grabbed his stiff cock, pulling him up against me, tight under my balls, and hoped that he would figure out the rest.
He did, one hand on my hip, the other fucking me with the vegetable medley while his cock moved against me enthusiastically. I reached back and tickled him with my fingers before fisting my own cock and pulling my erection slowly. I waited until I felt the now familiar wet spot spread out against my balls before I sped up my strokes and came, trying to catch it in my hand. I slumped down in front of him and rolled over on my side, grinning at him.
He was still kneeling, sort of swaying back and forth, breathing heavily. I found a clean cloth, wetting it slightly and sitting in front of him. He didn't stop me from undoing his clothes and cleaning him up.
"Thank you," he whispered, watching the cloth join the other one on the floor. I smiled at him, pulling him down and wrapping my legs around his back. The mask was hard and uncomfortable against my shoulder, but I didn’t care. I hadn't felt this giddy since my first night with my dear late wife. She had been an exceptional lover, very adept with her tongue and more than willing to finger my ass while sucking me, something I always appreciate in a woman. I had felt almost euphoric at the thought that I was to spend the rest of my life with her.
Of course, I hadn't spent even two years with her, and part of me doubted that Baldwin would last that long, but the feeling was the same. I was in love. And he was slowly opening up to me, in small ways. Taking his mask off to sip his tea, letting me clean him up, letting me see his thighs when his trousers puddled around his knees. It was slow but steady progress.
"Tiberias bothers me," Baldwin said a few minutes later.
"He cares for you very much."
"Hmpf." He shifted in my arms. "I had to get rid of that couch. It was disgusting by the time he was done with it."
"He means well."
"I used to find him attractive. I was even a little bit, you know. Interested."
"But not anymore?"
"Not since he fucked over fifty prostitutes in my vestibule, no. He probably has diseases." Baldwin paused, realized what he'd said, and laughed. "And he's old enough to be my father."
"Doesn't stop him from being attractive."
"No. Suppose not." Baldwin sighed. "I would never have sex with prostitutes on someone else's sofa. Well, I wouldn't have sex with prostitutes at all, but if I did, it would be in my own room."
"To each his own."
"You're so tolerant, Balian."
I shut my eyes, running my hands up and down his sides. He was so thin. I swear I could feel his ribs. "You should tell him how you feel. Or, how you felt."
"Tiberias?"
"Yes. You should. I have to leave soon, I have to at least go look at my father's land. I can't live here, and be your concubine, or whatever I am, as much as I might like to. Tiberias already lives here. He can look after you."
"Look after me?"
"Yes, look after you. Make sure you never go to bed without a wet spot."
"I don't think-"
"He slept with fifty prostitutes. Obviously he has urges."
"I suppose."
"Promise me you'll tell him."
"But he bothers me."
"He could redeem himself. Maybe he'd even show you what's so great about the vestibule."
Baldwin laughed, squirming around and trying to push my hands away from his armpits, which were, I was thrilled to discover, extremely ticklish.
"Stop, please, no-"
"Promise me."
"Oh, please-"
"Promise. Promise you'll tell him."
"Yes, yes I will!" I kept tickling him anyway. "You said you would stop!"
"No, I didn’t, I just asked you to promise." I pulled my hands away, then reached back over and pulled him close. He'd managed to scuttle half way across the bed trying to escape me. His mask was crooked and his robes were all tangled up. I straightened him out, my hands lingering on his chest, finding a nipple and pinching him. He was still catching his breath from our tickle session. "Feel that?" I asked. He nodded.
"I haven't felt this much in a long time."
I just smiled, running my hand down his side and along the curve of his hip. "So did any of the prostitutes already know how to play chess?"
"Do you know how to play? Would you like to?" His voice rose hopefully. "Nobody will play with me any more. Not even my sister. Tiberias used to play. Guy even played with me a few times. I'll let you win."
"All right, I'll play."
He was out of bed before I could sit up, obviously excited about this. I examined the maroon madness and found the button I had popped off. Wasn't a critical button, so I became an eggplant and rummaged around in the bedclothes for that blue robe. He'd need to cover up the wet spot.
"Come on, then," he hollered from the next room.
I handed him the robe. "You're so unconcerned about your wet spot," I said, helping him adjust the robe and sitting opposite him. He was perched on the edge of his chair, waiting for me to make the first move. "It's like you want everyone to see you and your wet spot." I moved one of my pawns. I was terrible at games; my only hope of winning was if I distracted him. I ran my toes up the inside of his calf as he made his move. "You're so shameless, showing it off to Tiberias like that." I saw several servants darting in and out of the bedroom and kept my foot to myself. I glanced their way every so often to make sure they weren't making off with the cucumbers. "You think they'll take our vegetables?"
He called one of them over and asked them to leave the vegetables. The man nodded, not fazed by this request. They were probably used to strange behavior, working around here. He even brought us tea, to assure us our vegetables were safe with him.
"How long have people thought I had a silver penis?"
I spat up my tea, wiping the table with my sleeve.
"Probably since you started wearing the mask."
"Do you think it would be advantageous in any way?"
"Not really."
"Well, I could, ah, use it. For various things."
"And I'm sure that various things would feel very nice with a silver penis, but it really isn't necessary." He was trying so hard to lose, but he just couldn't do it. I was that bad.
He sighed, taking one of the last of my chess pieces with his little white hand. "I'm sorry, I'm really giving you the benefit of the doubt here."
"Well, when I said I could play, I didn't say I played well."
"So should I get one? A silver penis?"
"No, no, I don't think so."
"Oh." He sounded disappointed.
"Ask Tiberias what he thinks. I mean, I wouldn't complain, I just think things are fine the way they are. Tiberias might like it though. Might turn him on," I said, looking at him suggestively. It wasn't that I wanted to lose him to someone else, but I couldn't stay, Tiberias was a very loyal, devoted person, and he was obviously a sort of male nymphomaniac.
I lost five times in a row. Each time, the king really tried to let me win. He even skipped a turn a few times, just to see if I could do something intelligent if I had two turns in a row. I couldn't. The servants came around with dinner. I watched Baldwin take tiny little bites again, and spent a pleasant hour alone with my thoughts while he saw his doctor in the bedroom. I couldn't hear much of what they said, but when he emerged, his bandages were fresh and white, and his wet spot was gone. I wondered how many sets of these pajamas he had.
"Will you stay?" he asked.
"Of course," I replied, taking his small, bandaged hand when he offered it.
Sigh...I think there will be more whether you want it or not.
Author: ratherbrightred
Pairing: Baldwin/Balian
Rating: nc-17!
Summary: An unabashedly plotless, sex-driven lepic. This exciting chapter: Tiberias reveals his tendency to be accidentally het (so, um, really brief mention of things het), Balian continues to have dirty thoughts in the vegetable garden.
A/N: Oh God, I can't stop writing this! I have other things I should be doing. Give me strength to back away slowly from the leppy!sex...look here for the previous parts. For those of you who want to proudly advertise your affiliation with the Baldwin Porn bus, I give you: the bus. Drivers wanted.
and a disclaimer: Obviously Baldwin & Balian are not gay together, although Baldwin doesn't have much of a choice, given that the only woman in the film is his sister. None of these characters belong to me, and I mean no offense. Be sure to investigate the list of leprosy charities in the header for part one, as leprosy is very real, although my fic is not.
I woke when I heard his voice, soft but firm. "What did I tell you?" he said, pulling away from me. I was hard, and had been pushing my cock into the soft silky space just below his bottom.
"I'm sorry, my lord, but-"
"What did I say?"
Tiberias. I opened one eye. Tiberias clutched some papers, and looked very apprehensive in general. Baldwin extricated himself from my arms and stood up. I couldn't help but notice the large stain on the front of his robe where his come had dried despite his efforts to wipe it off. I smiled, burying my head in my pillow. "Would you like to change, my lord?" Tiberias asked, his face coloring slightly.
"No," Baldwin said tersely, taking the papers and sitting at a small desk to look them over. That chair hadn't been there last night. He must have moved it to force me to sit on the bed. Sneaky little man. I pulled the maroon monstrosity over my head and sorted through Baldwin's closet, finding a simple blue silk robe and taking it over to him.
"Stand up," I whispered.
"I'm fine," Baldwin said, sounding very irritated.
I leaned closer to him. "You're a mess."
He looked down, then stood and let me wrap the robe around his shoulders. I returned to bed and poured myself some tea, which had been replaced in our sleep. It wasn't quite hot, but warm was good. I thought about offering some to Tiberias, but I noticed how he was carefully studying a spot on the floor and decided not to interrupt him.
"I'm very sorry," Tiberias said again, taking the papers when Baldwin held them out to him. Baldwin just held up his hand. "But," Tiberias continued, "there will be occasional business you will have to attend to, despite your, um, current engagements."
"Well, then you may come in if you must."
"I'd rather…I would…that is to say…I'd rather not. I don't want to…interrupt."
"That's the risk you take," Baldwin said shortly. Tiberias settled his gaze on the pile of vegetables on the side table and paled noticeably.
"They're just vegetables," I said innocently, pulling up the sheet so Baldwin could settle in beside me. His head found its favorite spot under my chin, and he rested his hand on my stomach, looking up at Tiberias.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Tiberias asked, looking genuinely pained. "Remember when I was trotting those awful prostitutes in here every damn night? I kept thinking I just hadn't found the right one. Why didn't you say something?"
"A number of them were quite companionable," Baldwin said. "Sit down, Tiberias, since you appear to be staying."
Tiberias dragged the desk chair over and sat beside the bed. He really seemed to want an answer. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It isn’t something I can discuss openly."
"But you could have told me to stop it with the whores."
"I did tell you to stop it."
"I don't remember that."
"I said, please stop sending these women to my room every night. But you liked them too well."
Tiberias blushed, and Baldwin pointed at him, laughing. "At last, you admit it! You bedded the lot of them. I even heard you once. You said, 'well, did you do it?,' and you knew perfectly well we hadn't because you'd been spying on us through the curtains." Tiberias was beet red. "And she said, 'no, we played chess and talked about poetry,' and you said, 'well, I am paying you perfectly good money, so is it all right if I have a go?' and she gave in to your delicate, charming way of putting things, and then if I'm not mistaken, you had your way with her on the couch in the vestibule."
"Well, yes, occasionally-"
"Occasionally. Ha. Every damn time, except for the big tall one with tattoos."
"I just thought you might like her, is all. Seemed rather, I don't know, mannish."
"So you suspected."
"No, I was just trying to expose you to the range of possibilities."
"That explains the midget and the enormously fat one."
"They were both exceptional in bed, my lord."
Baldwin snorted. "I bet."
"The fat one especially." Tiberias licked his lips. "I love a girl with a little meat on her."
Baldwin sighed. Tiberias stared off into space, reminiscing.
"Tiberias told me that some people think you have a silver penis," I said, trying to liven up the conversation. Tiberias looked at me sharply.
"Truly?" Baldwin asked. "Who says this?"
"The men, sir. The soldiers. It's, um, respectful. No harm meant by it."
"Well. That's fascinating. Maybe I should have a silver penis. Would you like that, Balian?"
I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. "I like you as you are."
"How sweet of you," Baldwin said, rubbing his hand in slow circles on my stomach. I felt myself hardening. The silver penis did kind of excite me. I took a sip of tea, trying not to embarrass myself in front of Tiberias. Baldwin's hand moved lower, discretely gathering up the hem of my robe until he could run the tip of his wrapped finger up and down my cock. I looked out the window, trying to think unpleasant thoughts and stave off my next leper-induced orgasm.
"I'll be going, then," Tiberias said after a very long pause interrupted only by a stifled moan on my part. Baldwin didn't say anything. Tiberias gathered up his papers, glanced at the vegetables one last time, and was gone.
"Silver," Baldwin said contemplatively. "I might enjoy that."
I was not able to speak, but I nodded, spreading my legs and pushing my hips into his hand.
He pulled away, picking up a fresh carrot from the pile and handing it to me. I fumbled around in my pocket for the vial of oil and coated the carrot generously, handing it back to him and wiping the rest of the oil between my legs. I kicked my knees up and watched him tease me with the tip of the carrot, circling it around my entrance. His eyes were wide, curious, and his free hand rested on my thigh, rubbing against me in small circles as he slowly pushed the carrot inside.
"Tip it toward you," I whispered, crying out as he found the spot I'd been telling him about. He pulled away, apologizing. "No, no, that was good, do it again. Please, do it again." He obliged, his eyes widening further as I started moving my hips against the intrusion. His hand returned to my cock, staying near the base so he didn't wet his bandages.
"You've done this before," he said, watching the way I moved against him. I handed him a cucumber and nodded, moaning as he pushed it in slowly, then a few minutes later, to my surprise and delight, added the tip of the carrot as well. "With many…men?"
"Not so many. A few." I was breathless, aching to touch myself. "Please, may I-" I moved my hand to my cock and he nodded, watching me. I heard him make a small sound, and, always the creative lover, had another brilliant idea. "Wait," I said. "Stop." He did, and I pulled him up so he knelt in front of me. I pulled my robe over my head, a button snapping off in my haste, and let it fall to the ground, too impatient to give it further attention. I undid the pale blue robe I'd forced him into earlier, and dropped to my hands and knees in front of him, lowering myself to my elbows. I reached between my legs and grabbed his stiff cock, pulling him up against me, tight under my balls, and hoped that he would figure out the rest.
He did, one hand on my hip, the other fucking me with the vegetable medley while his cock moved against me enthusiastically. I reached back and tickled him with my fingers before fisting my own cock and pulling my erection slowly. I waited until I felt the now familiar wet spot spread out against my balls before I sped up my strokes and came, trying to catch it in my hand. I slumped down in front of him and rolled over on my side, grinning at him.
He was still kneeling, sort of swaying back and forth, breathing heavily. I found a clean cloth, wetting it slightly and sitting in front of him. He didn't stop me from undoing his clothes and cleaning him up.
"Thank you," he whispered, watching the cloth join the other one on the floor. I smiled at him, pulling him down and wrapping my legs around his back. The mask was hard and uncomfortable against my shoulder, but I didn’t care. I hadn't felt this giddy since my first night with my dear late wife. She had been an exceptional lover, very adept with her tongue and more than willing to finger my ass while sucking me, something I always appreciate in a woman. I had felt almost euphoric at the thought that I was to spend the rest of my life with her.
Of course, I hadn't spent even two years with her, and part of me doubted that Baldwin would last that long, but the feeling was the same. I was in love. And he was slowly opening up to me, in small ways. Taking his mask off to sip his tea, letting me clean him up, letting me see his thighs when his trousers puddled around his knees. It was slow but steady progress.
"Tiberias bothers me," Baldwin said a few minutes later.
"He cares for you very much."
"Hmpf." He shifted in my arms. "I had to get rid of that couch. It was disgusting by the time he was done with it."
"He means well."
"I used to find him attractive. I was even a little bit, you know. Interested."
"But not anymore?"
"Not since he fucked over fifty prostitutes in my vestibule, no. He probably has diseases." Baldwin paused, realized what he'd said, and laughed. "And he's old enough to be my father."
"Doesn't stop him from being attractive."
"No. Suppose not." Baldwin sighed. "I would never have sex with prostitutes on someone else's sofa. Well, I wouldn't have sex with prostitutes at all, but if I did, it would be in my own room."
"To each his own."
"You're so tolerant, Balian."
I shut my eyes, running my hands up and down his sides. He was so thin. I swear I could feel his ribs. "You should tell him how you feel. Or, how you felt."
"Tiberias?"
"Yes. You should. I have to leave soon, I have to at least go look at my father's land. I can't live here, and be your concubine, or whatever I am, as much as I might like to. Tiberias already lives here. He can look after you."
"Look after me?"
"Yes, look after you. Make sure you never go to bed without a wet spot."
"I don't think-"
"He slept with fifty prostitutes. Obviously he has urges."
"I suppose."
"Promise me you'll tell him."
"But he bothers me."
"He could redeem himself. Maybe he'd even show you what's so great about the vestibule."
Baldwin laughed, squirming around and trying to push my hands away from his armpits, which were, I was thrilled to discover, extremely ticklish.
"Stop, please, no-"
"Promise me."
"Oh, please-"
"Promise. Promise you'll tell him."
"Yes, yes I will!" I kept tickling him anyway. "You said you would stop!"
"No, I didn’t, I just asked you to promise." I pulled my hands away, then reached back over and pulled him close. He'd managed to scuttle half way across the bed trying to escape me. His mask was crooked and his robes were all tangled up. I straightened him out, my hands lingering on his chest, finding a nipple and pinching him. He was still catching his breath from our tickle session. "Feel that?" I asked. He nodded.
"I haven't felt this much in a long time."
I just smiled, running my hand down his side and along the curve of his hip. "So did any of the prostitutes already know how to play chess?"
"Do you know how to play? Would you like to?" His voice rose hopefully. "Nobody will play with me any more. Not even my sister. Tiberias used to play. Guy even played with me a few times. I'll let you win."
"All right, I'll play."
He was out of bed before I could sit up, obviously excited about this. I examined the maroon madness and found the button I had popped off. Wasn't a critical button, so I became an eggplant and rummaged around in the bedclothes for that blue robe. He'd need to cover up the wet spot.
"Come on, then," he hollered from the next room.
I handed him the robe. "You're so unconcerned about your wet spot," I said, helping him adjust the robe and sitting opposite him. He was perched on the edge of his chair, waiting for me to make the first move. "It's like you want everyone to see you and your wet spot." I moved one of my pawns. I was terrible at games; my only hope of winning was if I distracted him. I ran my toes up the inside of his calf as he made his move. "You're so shameless, showing it off to Tiberias like that." I saw several servants darting in and out of the bedroom and kept my foot to myself. I glanced their way every so often to make sure they weren't making off with the cucumbers. "You think they'll take our vegetables?"
He called one of them over and asked them to leave the vegetables. The man nodded, not fazed by this request. They were probably used to strange behavior, working around here. He even brought us tea, to assure us our vegetables were safe with him.
"How long have people thought I had a silver penis?"
I spat up my tea, wiping the table with my sleeve.
"Probably since you started wearing the mask."
"Do you think it would be advantageous in any way?"
"Not really."
"Well, I could, ah, use it. For various things."
"And I'm sure that various things would feel very nice with a silver penis, but it really isn't necessary." He was trying so hard to lose, but he just couldn't do it. I was that bad.
He sighed, taking one of the last of my chess pieces with his little white hand. "I'm sorry, I'm really giving you the benefit of the doubt here."
"Well, when I said I could play, I didn't say I played well."
"So should I get one? A silver penis?"
"No, no, I don't think so."
"Oh." He sounded disappointed.
"Ask Tiberias what he thinks. I mean, I wouldn't complain, I just think things are fine the way they are. Tiberias might like it though. Might turn him on," I said, looking at him suggestively. It wasn't that I wanted to lose him to someone else, but I couldn't stay, Tiberias was a very loyal, devoted person, and he was obviously a sort of male nymphomaniac.
I lost five times in a row. Each time, the king really tried to let me win. He even skipped a turn a few times, just to see if I could do something intelligent if I had two turns in a row. I couldn't. The servants came around with dinner. I watched Baldwin take tiny little bites again, and spent a pleasant hour alone with my thoughts while he saw his doctor in the bedroom. I couldn't hear much of what they said, but when he emerged, his bandages were fresh and white, and his wet spot was gone. I wondered how many sets of these pajamas he had.
"Will you stay?" he asked.
"Of course," I replied, taking his small, bandaged hand when he offered it.
Sigh...I think there will be more whether you want it or not.