Im so scared...
I am so scared about mine and Ryan's relationship... I love him so much but I don't know what to do. I am scared. I am afriad he thinks I am a sex crazed maniac! I would never push anyone into doing anything, I mean I know what it feels like. It's not cool at all. It's all my fault, I should have never brought up sex and stuff! I don't want to cry but I really don't want anything to happen to us! I love him so much, I really truly can say I have never in my life felt like this before. It's a rush. I love being with him and seeing him. He's totally awesome! He is so beautiful to me. If anything ever happened to me and Ryan I really don't know what I would do. Maybe I should have never brought anything sexual up. I am not looking for any of that. I jsut can't make it to where I can tell him that. I know he is not ready for that. And I don't think that our relationship needs and sexual content at all, I mean things might get weird. GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! He is the most awesomest person ever! Hes so beautiful, and sexy, and sweet, I can't even explain how I feel for Ryan! I wihs I could just kiss him everyday, see him smile all the time, look into his beautiful eyes for hours at a time. I love the feeling I get when he says he loves me, or when he leans in for a kiss, or just gives me a hug, and I even love when he holds my hand. Everything about Ryan makes me have a tingly feeling inside my tum-E. Maybe I am just scared because I know when he finds out he is so awesome he is going to find another girl. I think Leslie already wants him. She acts like it. My back really hurts, especially my right shoulder, 11 days till my birthday. Yea-UH! :-\