Today
It's been a horrible last couple of days! I hope when I fall asleep tonight I don't wake up! Well my dad and mom both said i could stay over with him and they know its gonig to just be me! even my mom told me if his mom was going to flip then don't tell her at all! I was like yeah... lol but yeah, its getting near the end I can feel it comming on closer and closer as the days progress... just wish it would come and put an end to my life... PUT ME OUT OF MY DAMN MISERY! I am on the telly with Ryan it's not like we are talking... then again when do we... I wanted him to come over so fucking BAD! I cleaned my room, painted my nails( i am peeling it off now) I am doing MY OWN LAUNDRY! I am listening to linkin park... (was his fave band) now he like KSE or something .... iono i dont listen to kill switch... i have heard some stuff it's good but i dont care... in later news He cut my face with his fingernail yesterday it was an accident but it fucking hurts! It bled and i have a ugly gash on my face, i gotta hit the hay soon because i got summer school tomorrow i am talking to kimber now. it seems as though she is the only 1 i can talk to i cant even talk to les or fle, deff not tracy (love her to death but she shares all my buisness) My cat broke my blinds down, i am afriad if she does something bad again my dad said he is getting rid of her!!! poor fwankee! I am getting sick... I hate ryan! UHHH!!! ok well not literally but he fucking FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He makes me SO MAD!!! I am trying to go to my happy place... We are still sitting on the telly and its 10:48... maybe he forgot about me. he should he ignores me... Ok so TODAY! Ryan didnt come over like normal so i called and i figured from the way he was talknig he was going to be like ok but only for a little bit, but it turnned into a bit of a fight! WHEN ARE WE NOT FIGHTING?!?!?!?!?! I FUCKING HATE IT FUCK FUCK! I FUCKING HATE ME!!! I wish i had a fucking knife FUCK!!! I am so pissed I don't wanna explose today.... I am about to just hang up, but I don;t wanna "annoy" him anymore, ok maybe he don't realize it but when he says to me that he is going to hang up because i am "annoying him" it really hurts! anyeways back to the today story he is not comming over! as u might be aboe to tell because i am a stupid fuck!!!!!!!! stiull sitting on the god damn fucking sdg sgasdfg PHONE with him! sorry... i am losing it 2r5 gkmdn dfgmngfm, wu7n ,m nmhjun s nm,cxm,cdcfowsokdsju67i-xc0st- OK better a little bit , i wanna tell him in person that i can come and what my mom said, if he dont read this first... i will prolly end up telling him to read it tho so oh well well this is really long and i need to crash because of school tomorrow!