amda
so i'm at school now... moved in friday.
started classes yesterday.. techinally two days ago but whatev.
it's nice to be back.. like really good.
i mean, obviously i miss home and the people there but it's nice to be back in ny and with all my crazy ass theatre bitches.
let me just tell you, we DEFINATELY got some cute straight first semesters on our hands.
yowza.
on the topic of men... i haven't talked to donnie since thursday... which for me, is quite a bit of time. i want to but i know that it's for the best if i don't right now.. ya know?
he needs to see how things are without me completely.
i know i'll give in soon but i'm really trying not to communicate with him for as long as can.
i love him but i'm not subjecting myself to bullshit anymore.
i DO deserve better than that.. and it's time i start believing it, ya know? i need to gain some more self confidence.
the "amda" boy as most people know him as.. has a g/f so yeah, idk. he's been kind of like... been being a penis. when he sees me, obviously he can't not like come up to me and hug me.. but like otherwise i'll text him sometimes and he'll respond or he won't. i've made it known that i'm there ya know... even though he really is one of the biggest man whores i've ever met, i'm over it. like, he has a g/f and congrats on that and i hope everything goes well... but at the same time i want you to like.. idk, realize i'm a cool chica hahaa. idk, whatev.
since being at school i've been sooo sarcastic.
i probably should stop because people are going to begin thinking i'm a real bitch or like.. not a serious person at all.
i mean i am serious but i like to joke around.. i'm sarcastic, i can't help it.
BUT
i am going to try to cut it back a tad bit because i am a nice girl ya know?
i kind of feel like i'm misunderstood.
i like try so hard to be like.. the laid-back one.. when really i don't need to.
i am a laid-back person so i don't have to try as hard as i do.
i just want to meet people and make friends and what not but i'm getting bored of being the sarcastic one all the time.
i want someone to see me for who i really am ya know?
like... i'm really caring about everyone and i'm always willing to help people out and what not and i don't think people know that about me.
like i am a genuine person, i know i am... but for some reason i like to come off as a hard ass and i don't know why.
i'm really scared about tomorrow's musical theatre class.
our teacher evaluates you and tells you your flaws and i'm just not ready for that ya know?
i have such low self-esteem as it is, i don't need some bald little man telling me my problems too.
and if i dare hear that i need to lose weight i'm pretty sure i'll break down.
i know i need to lose weight.
i know that it needs to happen soon.
but just because you say it, it doesn't mean it's going to happen at the snap of a finger.
it takes work and i'm trying.
idk, i'm going to some shit on myspace and then go in the tv lounge.. then hopefully i'll be able to pass out and go to bed!.
ah.
started classes yesterday.. techinally two days ago but whatev.
it's nice to be back.. like really good.
i mean, obviously i miss home and the people there but it's nice to be back in ny and with all my crazy ass theatre bitches.
let me just tell you, we DEFINATELY got some cute straight first semesters on our hands.
yowza.
on the topic of men... i haven't talked to donnie since thursday... which for me, is quite a bit of time. i want to but i know that it's for the best if i don't right now.. ya know?
he needs to see how things are without me completely.
i know i'll give in soon but i'm really trying not to communicate with him for as long as can.
i love him but i'm not subjecting myself to bullshit anymore.
i DO deserve better than that.. and it's time i start believing it, ya know? i need to gain some more self confidence.
the "amda" boy as most people know him as.. has a g/f so yeah, idk. he's been kind of like... been being a penis. when he sees me, obviously he can't not like come up to me and hug me.. but like otherwise i'll text him sometimes and he'll respond or he won't. i've made it known that i'm there ya know... even though he really is one of the biggest man whores i've ever met, i'm over it. like, he has a g/f and congrats on that and i hope everything goes well... but at the same time i want you to like.. idk, realize i'm a cool chica hahaa. idk, whatev.
since being at school i've been sooo sarcastic.
i probably should stop because people are going to begin thinking i'm a real bitch or like.. not a serious person at all.
i mean i am serious but i like to joke around.. i'm sarcastic, i can't help it.
BUT
i am going to try to cut it back a tad bit because i am a nice girl ya know?
i kind of feel like i'm misunderstood.
i like try so hard to be like.. the laid-back one.. when really i don't need to.
i am a laid-back person so i don't have to try as hard as i do.
i just want to meet people and make friends and what not but i'm getting bored of being the sarcastic one all the time.
i want someone to see me for who i really am ya know?
like... i'm really caring about everyone and i'm always willing to help people out and what not and i don't think people know that about me.
like i am a genuine person, i know i am... but for some reason i like to come off as a hard ass and i don't know why.
i'm really scared about tomorrow's musical theatre class.
our teacher evaluates you and tells you your flaws and i'm just not ready for that ya know?
i have such low self-esteem as it is, i don't need some bald little man telling me my problems too.
and if i dare hear that i need to lose weight i'm pretty sure i'll break down.
i know i need to lose weight.
i know that it needs to happen soon.
but just because you say it, it doesn't mean it's going to happen at the snap of a finger.
it takes work and i'm trying.
idk, i'm going to some shit on myspace and then go in the tv lounge.. then hopefully i'll be able to pass out and go to bed!.
ah.