what ever happen the simple things.
So I'm at work and i have some free time. I would like to be able to write something impressive that will make problem think "man what a thinker" or "how insightful" but I've never been able to do that. So, I'll just ramble with what's on my mind, and hope for the best.
So sometimes I wonder where life got complex. One day everything is simple and clear cut, and the next it's overwhelming. I've never really have fiqured it out. My life is currently hitting between being simple and overwhelming. i've been head over heals for a girl for about a month now. Now there's a 99% i've never get to date her, I won't go into the reason's. Now, i'm not an asshole. I don't mind being her friend and I can accept not getting to date her. She's a wonderful person, and I care about her. I really just want her to be happy. One of my major draw backs is I'm not a selfish man. I don't really get jealous. I've never really been able to say "you should be withme" to anyone I care about, and I proberly never will be able to. The problem is my mind is used to a pattern and it seems I'm constantly trying to sabotage my friendship. I have to activily look for it to keep from doing. It's hard and it sucks. I don't want to. It just seems childish to me to stop talking to someone just cause you can't date them. unfortunatly, in the past that has been my pattern. So now I'm fighting myself and it stinks. yesterday i wasn't paying attention and said somethings I should've said. It annoyed her at the very least. at the time I said them I didn't know why i did. I would to think there was a real reason behind it, bu tI can't think of one. I apologized and i think she's forgiving me. So were cool now, but its still on my mind I guess. Anyway, things just seem to complex some times. Hard to believe what comes from a simple convesation and a nice smile.
I guess that's the biggest thing on my mind right now. There's a couple more, maybe I'll have a chance to right them down later. Take care everyone.
I leave with the lyrics to a song that somes up my current mood.
"So Moved On" by OAR
I woke today, felt another way,
everything was gonna be fine.
My head rose up then my legs came too,
quarter past nine was the time.
I used to lose floating memories, found myself
wishing I'd remember old times.
But I woke today,
felt another way,
felt free in the sky to fly.
I stepped out the door, didn't know what for,
I saw my lady walking along.
I could have cried out what I wanted to say,
but I am sick of all this terrible charm.
I used to be into apologies, a regular to shame I
was shy.
But I woke today,
felt another way,
felt free in the sky to fly.
Well I'm through the gate, got to my house about
a quarter to eight.
And I made a drink, got about an hour to relax and
just think.
I'm just bored, nothing's ever gonna be the same
anymore.
And with my drink in hand I got up to stand and I
was off to a regular day.
The morning dragged on, I was walking along,
missing pieces fell to the ground.
Apparently, I could not see,
but I saw everything going down.
So I packed my bags and I was on my way,
I feel a little different in a different way.
But like I said when I got out of bed, I was off to a
regular day.
I could not hide, I wore my pride,
it felt good to be on the run.
The air quality was something new to me and I got
along fine with the sun.
And when I rest my heard and I lay down to bed,
I put the pieces down with the blame.
And if all goes well, at the morning bell,
I'll wake feeling free just the same.
Well I'm through the gate, got to my house about
a quarter to eight.
And I made a drink, got about an hour to relax and
just think.
I'm just bored, nothing's ever gonna be the same
anymore.
And with my drink in hand I got up to stand and I
was off to a regular day.
So sometimes I wonder where life got complex. One day everything is simple and clear cut, and the next it's overwhelming. I've never really have fiqured it out. My life is currently hitting between being simple and overwhelming. i've been head over heals for a girl for about a month now. Now there's a 99% i've never get to date her, I won't go into the reason's. Now, i'm not an asshole. I don't mind being her friend and I can accept not getting to date her. She's a wonderful person, and I care about her. I really just want her to be happy. One of my major draw backs is I'm not a selfish man. I don't really get jealous. I've never really been able to say "you should be withme" to anyone I care about, and I proberly never will be able to. The problem is my mind is used to a pattern and it seems I'm constantly trying to sabotage my friendship. I have to activily look for it to keep from doing. It's hard and it sucks. I don't want to. It just seems childish to me to stop talking to someone just cause you can't date them. unfortunatly, in the past that has been my pattern. So now I'm fighting myself and it stinks. yesterday i wasn't paying attention and said somethings I should've said. It annoyed her at the very least. at the time I said them I didn't know why i did. I would to think there was a real reason behind it, bu tI can't think of one. I apologized and i think she's forgiving me. So were cool now, but its still on my mind I guess. Anyway, things just seem to complex some times. Hard to believe what comes from a simple convesation and a nice smile.
I guess that's the biggest thing on my mind right now. There's a couple more, maybe I'll have a chance to right them down later. Take care everyone.
I leave with the lyrics to a song that somes up my current mood.
"So Moved On" by OAR
I woke today, felt another way,
everything was gonna be fine.
My head rose up then my legs came too,
quarter past nine was the time.
I used to lose floating memories, found myself
wishing I'd remember old times.
But I woke today,
felt another way,
felt free in the sky to fly.
I stepped out the door, didn't know what for,
I saw my lady walking along.
I could have cried out what I wanted to say,
but I am sick of all this terrible charm.
I used to be into apologies, a regular to shame I
was shy.
But I woke today,
felt another way,
felt free in the sky to fly.
Well I'm through the gate, got to my house about
a quarter to eight.
And I made a drink, got about an hour to relax and
just think.
I'm just bored, nothing's ever gonna be the same
anymore.
And with my drink in hand I got up to stand and I
was off to a regular day.
The morning dragged on, I was walking along,
missing pieces fell to the ground.
Apparently, I could not see,
but I saw everything going down.
So I packed my bags and I was on my way,
I feel a little different in a different way.
But like I said when I got out of bed, I was off to a
regular day.
I could not hide, I wore my pride,
it felt good to be on the run.
The air quality was something new to me and I got
along fine with the sun.
And when I rest my heard and I lay down to bed,
I put the pieces down with the blame.
And if all goes well, at the morning bell,
I'll wake feeling free just the same.
Well I'm through the gate, got to my house about
a quarter to eight.
And I made a drink, got about an hour to relax and
just think.
I'm just bored, nothing's ever gonna be the same
anymore.
And with my drink in hand I got up to stand and I
was off to a regular day.