(no subject)
I'm trying to find a used pool table to put in my new place.
I'm gradually making it sober. I drink lightly 2 nights a week now. much much different. it's really not easy changing ones lifestyle. There is no doubt that I'm a better person for it. Though I am great to party with.
Why change?
Because I think I was attracted to certain women but couldn't be a good friend and partner the way my life was lived. And I knew it. I wasn't prepared to have a relationship the way a good man can. I spent large amounts of money on booze. I had a lot of friends. but are they really? realization - they're drunks too. most of them .. not all. My great friend Eli is not. He is one of the better men I've met in my life. A True man of honorable character.
sooo.
I do want love again. I do want the facilities to nuture it. I want it to be someone who really enjoys me. More than thinking I'm -hot- or -funny-. Someone who is captured by me but doesn't know all the reasons why. And I want her to feel the same way.
Why not feel magical. Why not try anyway. Why not be truely happy. Why not.
I'm happy. but it could be better.
so more to the point.
I'm becoming the man i should be. Not the moody hangover. Not the drunk good timer.
something more credible.
something more worth your time. friend or lover or both.
something more stable.
something that people look forward to.
something people will listen to.
something that will make you proud to know.
something you want more of.
something you can't wait for.
something your willing to wait for.
something noble.
something you can truly fall in love with.
and not ever be affraid of anything again.
I'm gradually making it sober. I drink lightly 2 nights a week now. much much different. it's really not easy changing ones lifestyle. There is no doubt that I'm a better person for it. Though I am great to party with.
Why change?
Because I think I was attracted to certain women but couldn't be a good friend and partner the way my life was lived. And I knew it. I wasn't prepared to have a relationship the way a good man can. I spent large amounts of money on booze. I had a lot of friends. but are they really? realization - they're drunks too. most of them .. not all. My great friend Eli is not. He is one of the better men I've met in my life. A True man of honorable character.
sooo.
I do want love again. I do want the facilities to nuture it. I want it to be someone who really enjoys me. More than thinking I'm -hot- or -funny-. Someone who is captured by me but doesn't know all the reasons why. And I want her to feel the same way.
Why not feel magical. Why not try anyway. Why not be truely happy. Why not.
I'm happy. but it could be better.
so more to the point.
I'm becoming the man i should be. Not the moody hangover. Not the drunk good timer.
something more credible.
something more worth your time. friend or lover or both.
something more stable.
something that people look forward to.
something people will listen to.
something that will make you proud to know.
something you want more of.
something you can't wait for.
something your willing to wait for.
something noble.
something you can truly fall in love with.
and not ever be affraid of anything again.