Nothing Has Changed

Feb 03, 2004 15:19

Imagine having to win over the girl of your dreams every frickin` day !!! That`s the new slogan for the 'new' adam sandler movie, and I thought that I really don`t have to imagine it, I live it pretty much every day. But for me its like "Imagine living in a hellhole for the most vital years of your life, being hated is more of a familair feeling than love, and the girl of your dreams turns out to be a fuckin skank ass cunt! THEN you finally think the wost is over when you leave, and nothing has changed. Nothing." Fuck I hate life sooo much, I wish I was dead so I wouldn`t have to see everyone else being happy and all in love and shit. FUCK THAT SHIT !! I`m sick of it so I`ll have to kill it in my head, in other words EVERYONE IS THE ENEMY! *sigh* What am I to do, the genius of the hole is infinate. Just when you think your out it pulls you back down, deeper than the last time. I met one of the ghosts from my past today, justin hie my best friend for as long as I can rerember. We`ve always had a on again off again friendship, I guess now its on again. It`s odd, he`s always and I mean ALWAYS succeeded in literally EVERYTHING he sets his mind to. He married Kayla (his high school girlfriend) on halloween. Fuck man it makes my head spin, I mean I rerember when he wasn`t even WITH her, now their husband and wife. Everthing has changed I guess, but not for me. I`m still in this rut. a 21 year depression, and their doesn`t seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel or some hollywood-loser-gets-the-girl fuckin shit. So I fall down deeper and deeper till no one can save me, its all I`ve ever had.
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