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Feb 27, 2008 16:14

Kelly's Letters to fictional Characters, part 6.
Ace Attorney Series.

Dear Phoenix Wright:
You are so in Love with Edgeworth and you don't hide it well. I'm sorry he broke your heart but let's not take it out on every prosecutor that comes by kay?
Love, Kelly.

Dear Miles Edgeworth:
Hates Crime? Check. Going to extremes for Great Justice? Check. Witnessed a parents murder? Check.
That's right, I know you're really Batman, but to be an effective vigilante you might have to tone down your obsession with the color pink. I mean comon hun, even a pink knife? Don't you think that's taking it to a bit far? Also I told Phoenix about how you really Love him. He wasn't picking up on your not so subtle hints. Oh don't act to shocked, I have to help him with all his cases.
Stealthily, Kelly.

Dear Mia:
You're Dead. Stop telling me how to defend my clients. I have a perfect win record, I think I can handle it.
Rest In Peace Already, Kelly.

Dear Dick Gumshoe:
You're a sweetie, but I think it's time for a career change. Maybe Edgeworth needs a Robin? Or a puppy?
Sympathetically, Kelly

Dear Judge:
Dude, that chick keeps whipping me and I get contempt of court? WHAT. THE. HELL?
You need a good smack, Kelly.

Dear Court of Law:
The prosecution gets the entire police squad to help them investigate and I get confused teenage girls? Do you think maybe we could all just start SHARING evidence? No? Ffffinnne...
Brow Furrowed, Kelly.

Dear Maya:
Will you stop getting arrested? I'm getting tired of defending you. Especially since I think I do it for free every time. Hmm...Maybe I shoudl send a copy of this to Edgeworth too...
Looking for fresh clients, Kelly.

Dear Judicial system:
Why have all my clients minus Maya and maybe one or two others been members of you? It seems all I do is defend prosecutors and cops. And even if I'm not defending them, it's someone from inside of you that's the real culprit! The hell? Comon! COMON!
Shakes fist at you! Kelly.

Dear Criminals:
Elaborate Much? Gawd!
There are no Simple crimes, Kelly.

Dear Capcom:
Can we play as Phoenix in the Next Capcom vs. Marvel Game? I think he could take down Jean Grey with a single enthusiastic OBJECTION! (Get it? Phoenix vs. the Phoenix? anyone? No? No one else caught that? Kay then...)
Eagerly Awaiting, Kelly.
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