dear will,
i have found myself unable to sleep and at this obscene time of 6:15, i figure my thoughts of you are what's keeping me up.
i don't know what kind of a person you are generally, and what i have to say is based on my personal acquaintence and relationship with you.
there are four things.
you are impatient. you have come to help me learn that i need a great deal of patience when romance comes to play. i've asked you to understand that i am indeed indecisive, and i can't make petty decisions, unless at that very moment there's something i desire. which doesn't generally happen. and this is who i am.
i dare call you narcissistic. or at least you have much to say about yourself. and there are vast amounts of things in this world that exist on every level you speak of yourself on...so why can't we talk about those things? i really want to justify my word choice by also saying that i shouldn't have to prompt you to ask me about my day. and when you do ask, you don't care to listen to the answer, i know because post my response, you just patronize me. "oh, i'm sorry babe. is there anything i can do?" and something i really fucking loathe you for...when i had that awful day, for no real reason, it was just awful..and i told you this. all your retort consisted of was "well i had a wonderful day...etc..etc..etc..yesyesletmetellyouallaboutmyday". i really resent that. probe. does that mean anything to you? selfish. selfish. selfish. i'm so SICK of hearing about you. it doesn't need to be about me either. fuck. just something that doesn't consist of you and your opinion and what it does for you spirituality.
third. i hate that i cannot confide my fears to you, because i need closure. and before i can have closure, i have to fret. alot. excess. but i don't need to tell you about it all the time, just some of the time. but the one and only time i tried..you tell me that anything i fear you may do, is exactly what you will do. if i accuse you, or obsess too much over it.
well excuse me but you're hardly worth defying human nature over.
and third. i can't retain feelings, and i haven't for well over a year. so fuck off.
i don't know what kind of a person you are generally, and what i have to say is based on my personal acquaintence and relationship with you.
there are four things.
you are impatient. you have come to help me learn that i need a great deal of patience when romance comes to play. i've asked you to understand that i am indeed indecisive, and i can't make petty decisions, unless at that very moment there's something i desire. which doesn't generally happen. and this is who i am.
i dare call you narcissistic. or at least you have much to say about yourself. and there are vast amounts of things in this world that exist on every level you speak of yourself on...so why can't we talk about those things? i really want to justify my word choice by also saying that i shouldn't have to prompt you to ask me about my day. and when you do ask, you don't care to listen to the answer, i know because post my response, you just patronize me. "oh, i'm sorry babe. is there anything i can do?" and something i really fucking loathe you for...when i had that awful day, for no real reason, it was just awful..and i told you this. all your retort consisted of was "well i had a wonderful day...etc..etc..etc..yesyesletmetellyouallaboutmyday". i really resent that. probe. does that mean anything to you? selfish. selfish. selfish. i'm so SICK of hearing about you. it doesn't need to be about me either. fuck. just something that doesn't consist of you and your opinion and what it does for you spirituality.
third. i hate that i cannot confide my fears to you, because i need closure. and before i can have closure, i have to fret. alot. excess. but i don't need to tell you about it all the time, just some of the time. but the one and only time i tried..you tell me that anything i fear you may do, is exactly what you will do. if i accuse you, or obsess too much over it.
well excuse me but you're hardly worth defying human nature over.
and third. i can't retain feelings, and i haven't for well over a year. so fuck off.