The guys in my life

[the_koira]

Guy one.
Tries to give me a cigarette.
„No, thanks.“
„Oh come on, try it.“
„No.“
„Please?“
„No.“
„Come on. For me.“
„Well, then especially no.“
„I like you.“
And dumps his freshly lit cigarette in the ashtray to kiss me.

He examines a bracelet someone here bought me. It says „100% Bosnian“.
„100% Bosanka, uh-huh.“ He's mad.
„Yes. Why, what's wrong with it?“
„Nothing. It's just not true.“
„I know it's not. It's just a joke.“
„It's not. Why should you say you're Bosnian? I like you because you're not. Don't make yourself something stupid.“

Guy Two. Online chat.

„Hey, are you a virgin btw?“
„No.“
„Well, I wouldn't care either way. It's just that it would mean more „work“ for me.“
Wow, now I feel special.

He invites me to a party. I thank him but I say that I'll come home that very night after half a year abroad and that I might, for one thing, be tired and for another would like to spend that night with my family. „So I don't know if I will come.“
„Well, whatever. Do what the fuck you want. It's an invitation, not a plea.“
Thank you so much for caring.