Beef: it's what's in my garage
I am tired. After the long drive on Sunday and working 8 am to 8:30 pm yesterday, I just feel beat. Fortunately, I will be off most of Thursday and all of Friday, which will segue nicely into the weekend. Friday we will be painting our tiniest bedroom to prepare it for its' transformation into a library. The new furniture we bought will be delivered next weekend, so we need to get the old furniture out and the house cleaned up.
Below I am typing up the history of the meat debacle, mostly for my own amusement. It is highly tl;dr, so don't feel bad about skipping it.
To give you a brief background on this, Rick has an older brother named Jason. Jason is a doll and I adore him, but he often has schemes. These schemes usually involve us lending him money or financing some venture, and mostly Rick and I have accepted that if we decide to participate in one of these schemes, generally it's not so much a "loan" as a "gift," and we're okay with that. I'm not sure we've ever seen a return on a scheme investment, but we've also gotten wary over the years, so we are participating in fewer of them.
As you possibly know, about 2 years ago Rick and I decided to go vegetarian. It wasn't so much the "killing of animals for food" we were protesting, but the incredibly cruel treatment of animals that are raised for food in this country. For more info, see: Food, Inc. However, earlier this year we discovered that we could get humanely raised meat through our local farmer's market, and we have eaten some of that. Rick is no longer calling himself a vegetarian, I still am. "Ethical omnivore" might be more appropriate, but if you don't think I should still be calling myself a vegetarian, well that's perhaps a discussion for the comments.
ANYWAY, so this fall Jason (who is a massage therapist at a fancy country club) says "One of my clients raises lovely humane meat and is slaughtering a cow soon--I was thinking about buying 1/4. Do you guys want another 1/4? They want to keep half and sell half." We'd previously talked about buying meat in bulk (for cost effectiveness), so Rick said "Sure." These are the beginnings of the meat debacle.
We agree to buy the 1/4 of a cow. This is expensive, but not un-affordable. Jason agrees to arrange things with the client and to drive the meat up here when he comes to visit, or to help us otherwise arrange for its transport. About a month later, the cow is dead and Jason is in a bit of a tight spot with his finances. He wants to know if we would also like to purchase his 1/4 of the cow, as they've already killed it and they want their money. Rick agrees to buy the other 1/4 of the cow. Our investment is now doubled. Jason says he will come to visit in October and bring the meat.
The appointed time comes for the visit and it doesn't happen. We are going down for Thanksgiving, so we say "Great, we'll fly it back with us after Thanksgiving." Rick calls the airline and inquires about flying meat--packaging, dry ice, etc. He gets the specifications and we calculate the cost of checking the meat.
We fly down for Thanksgiving. Many things have to happen with the meat. We have to buy insulated boxes. No one in Dallas sells insulated boxes. We go to the U-Haul store and buy boxes and then to Lowe's and buy insulation and create our own insulated boxes. (To be fair, I mostly just rode around in the car while this was going on.) Then we have to buy dry ice. Then the meat has to be placed in the boxes with the dry ice and labeled. At last the meat is ready to take to the airport.
We arrive in the airport to fly home. I can't find my wallet (which is an entirely separate story), resulting in a lot of stress as we are trying to check in. We determine that I don't have my wallet and will have to discuss this with Homeland Security before going through the checkpoint, but FIRST, the meat! We take our boxes of meat up the elevator on a baggage cart and bring them to the counter to check them.
(conversation is not verbatim)
Airport lady: "Those boxes say they have meat and dry ice in them."
Rick: "Yes. When I called they told me to label them clearly."
Airport lady: "You know there's a limit on how much dry ice you can have in each box."
Rick: "They didn't mention it on the phone. What is the limit?"
Airport lady: *typing for 10 mins* *calls supervisor* *consults computer again* "2.5 pounds per box. How much is in there?"
Rick: *shrug*
Now we have to open the boxes and weigh the dry ice. There is about 10 pounds in each box. We start removing dry ice and re-weighing each bag.
Airport lady: "You know dry ice is a hazardous material, right? And there's an extra charge for that?"
Rick: "They didn't mention that when I called. How much is the extra charge?"
Airport lady: "Well, the checked bag fees are $100 and then there's an extra $200 charge per box." (I'm not exactly sure what the number was, but it struck me as exceedingly ridiculous at the time.)
Me: "Seriously? Fuck this."
So, Jason returned the meat to his car and we flew out without it. When we decided to drive to my parents' for Christmas, we agreed to meet Jason on the drive back up to get the meat. Rick asked Jason to purchase a small freezer on craig's list because we don't have one and we could drive the freezer with the meat in it back to Iowa. Jason sends the freezer measurements to Rick. Rick measures the car. We meet Jason. The freezer will not fit in the car. Jason and Rick go to Wal-Mart and buy 3 large ice chests. These do actually fit in our back seat, and we return home with no further incident. Jason is re-selling the freezer on craig's list for a $10 loss.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story behind the half a cow that is currently in my garage.
*bow*
Below I am typing up the history of the meat debacle, mostly for my own amusement. It is highly tl;dr, so don't feel bad about skipping it.
To give you a brief background on this, Rick has an older brother named Jason. Jason is a doll and I adore him, but he often has schemes. These schemes usually involve us lending him money or financing some venture, and mostly Rick and I have accepted that if we decide to participate in one of these schemes, generally it's not so much a "loan" as a "gift," and we're okay with that. I'm not sure we've ever seen a return on a scheme investment, but we've also gotten wary over the years, so we are participating in fewer of them.
As you possibly know, about 2 years ago Rick and I decided to go vegetarian. It wasn't so much the "killing of animals for food" we were protesting, but the incredibly cruel treatment of animals that are raised for food in this country. For more info, see: Food, Inc. However, earlier this year we discovered that we could get humanely raised meat through our local farmer's market, and we have eaten some of that. Rick is no longer calling himself a vegetarian, I still am. "Ethical omnivore" might be more appropriate, but if you don't think I should still be calling myself a vegetarian, well that's perhaps a discussion for the comments.
ANYWAY, so this fall Jason (who is a massage therapist at a fancy country club) says "One of my clients raises lovely humane meat and is slaughtering a cow soon--I was thinking about buying 1/4. Do you guys want another 1/4? They want to keep half and sell half." We'd previously talked about buying meat in bulk (for cost effectiveness), so Rick said "Sure." These are the beginnings of the meat debacle.
We agree to buy the 1/4 of a cow. This is expensive, but not un-affordable. Jason agrees to arrange things with the client and to drive the meat up here when he comes to visit, or to help us otherwise arrange for its transport. About a month later, the cow is dead and Jason is in a bit of a tight spot with his finances. He wants to know if we would also like to purchase his 1/4 of the cow, as they've already killed it and they want their money. Rick agrees to buy the other 1/4 of the cow. Our investment is now doubled. Jason says he will come to visit in October and bring the meat.
The appointed time comes for the visit and it doesn't happen. We are going down for Thanksgiving, so we say "Great, we'll fly it back with us after Thanksgiving." Rick calls the airline and inquires about flying meat--packaging, dry ice, etc. He gets the specifications and we calculate the cost of checking the meat.
We fly down for Thanksgiving. Many things have to happen with the meat. We have to buy insulated boxes. No one in Dallas sells insulated boxes. We go to the U-Haul store and buy boxes and then to Lowe's and buy insulation and create our own insulated boxes. (To be fair, I mostly just rode around in the car while this was going on.) Then we have to buy dry ice. Then the meat has to be placed in the boxes with the dry ice and labeled. At last the meat is ready to take to the airport.
We arrive in the airport to fly home. I can't find my wallet (which is an entirely separate story), resulting in a lot of stress as we are trying to check in. We determine that I don't have my wallet and will have to discuss this with Homeland Security before going through the checkpoint, but FIRST, the meat! We take our boxes of meat up the elevator on a baggage cart and bring them to the counter to check them.
(conversation is not verbatim)
Airport lady: "Those boxes say they have meat and dry ice in them."
Rick: "Yes. When I called they told me to label them clearly."
Airport lady: "You know there's a limit on how much dry ice you can have in each box."
Rick: "They didn't mention it on the phone. What is the limit?"
Airport lady: *typing for 10 mins* *calls supervisor* *consults computer again* "2.5 pounds per box. How much is in there?"
Rick: *shrug*
Now we have to open the boxes and weigh the dry ice. There is about 10 pounds in each box. We start removing dry ice and re-weighing each bag.
Airport lady: "You know dry ice is a hazardous material, right? And there's an extra charge for that?"
Rick: "They didn't mention that when I called. How much is the extra charge?"
Airport lady: "Well, the checked bag fees are $100 and then there's an extra $200 charge per box." (I'm not exactly sure what the number was, but it struck me as exceedingly ridiculous at the time.)
Me: "Seriously? Fuck this."
So, Jason returned the meat to his car and we flew out without it. When we decided to drive to my parents' for Christmas, we agreed to meet Jason on the drive back up to get the meat. Rick asked Jason to purchase a small freezer on craig's list because we don't have one and we could drive the freezer with the meat in it back to Iowa. Jason sends the freezer measurements to Rick. Rick measures the car. We meet Jason. The freezer will not fit in the car. Jason and Rick go to Wal-Mart and buy 3 large ice chests. These do actually fit in our back seat, and we return home with no further incident. Jason is re-selling the freezer on craig's list for a $10 loss.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story behind the half a cow that is currently in my garage.
*bow*