Family, Part 5 - Reasoning
This part was an interesting one to write. In this one, there's a lot of backstory to be told.
Rating - PG/PG-13.
Family, Part 5 - Reasoning
"That engine just doesn't sound right." Even with a comment that could've been disparaging aimed toward them, the newcomers smiled. The woman in the labcoat was smiling as well. "Hi, Kitt. Hi, Shawn."
"Hello, Bonnie," both of them chorused.
"I'm glad you two came in," she said. "I've got that transfer worked out. We should be able to get Kitt at least a copy of his memories from your chip."
"Thank heavens," said Kitt. "I'd like to be able to fill in my own gaps."
Both women smiled at that. "And I'd like to be able to remember my own things without yours getting in the way," Shawn answered him, and sat down where Bonnie indicated. For those few moments, there was silence. Preparations were made, and Shawn wasn't nervous in the least. Kitt trusted Bonnie. That leached through the chip in her head, lending her to trust Bonnie as well. "So," she began, quiet, trying to break a tension that wasn't really there. "You're back? I mean, you're staying?"
"Looks like it," Bonnie said, speaking more to the chip reader than to Shawn. "April offered me the position. I'm almost on par with her, so I think I'll keep it."
"Good." And then, the words came from Shawn's lips that she didn't know she was saying until they were said. "I missed you."
Silence again, this time as Bonnie looked at her curiously. Shawn amended: "I mean... Kitt missed you."
Bonnie nodded. "I'd kind of figured it was him talking through your mouth."
"I can talk through my own vocalizers as well," Kitt mentioned from not too far away. Just like Bonnie preferred, her lab at the new Knight Industries had room for both people and car, as both were equally important in her eyes.
"Don't I know it," Bonnie grinned.
"But tell me," he continued, more quietly. "What happened, while you were gone?"
---
"That engine keeps bringing back memories." Both people smiled at the comment, a door slam only a bit of an interruption. The car had a strong V8, and despite how most had converted to the methane fuel, the old Firebird was one that still ran on good old gasoline, and sounded all the stronger for it.
"Hi, Michael," said Becky as she stepped over into his yard. "I got your message."
"I can tell. You showed up."
A laugh was shared between them, and Becky seated herself across the picnic table from Michael, picking up the glass of iced tea that was obviously meant for her. "How could I not?" she asked rhetorically after a sip. "You make great tea."
This time, it was just a smile, and there were a few moments of silence. Not quite silence, Becky amended to herself. There would always be the sound of the water, and the wind high in the trees. Birds, bugs, the ice in the glass. But neither of them were speaking. Michael didn't even look like he was thinking about speaking, for all he was looking out into nowhere.
A million other things were playing behind Michael's eyes. He'd called her to tell her the truth, but now that she was here, he was almost having cold feet. It was ridiculous - he was twenty years older than her, and here he was nervous about telling her about things that she was more than old enough to understand.
"Michael?"
"Huh? Oh - oh, yeah, sorry. Mind wandered. That's what happens when you get old." He smiled in that lopsided way he had, that Becky couldn't help but smile at in return. But she knew it was more than that.
"Michael," she began quietly, "I get the feeling you didn't just invite me out here for iced tea under your trees."
She didn't get an answer. So she plowed on quietly, "Michael, tell me what happened. Why did you leave the Foundation?"
---
"To begin with," Bonnie started, "I didn't leave because of anything anybody did. Not directly." She talked while she worked, affixing patches like heart monitor sensors to Shawn's temple. "I left because... because of the same things that hit after my first year. I wasn't getting any rest. I was never seeing my family. My blood family. All I did was work, and I wanted to have some time for me while I was still young. So I left. I figured, just like had happened before, someone would take over for me and everything would be okay."
---
"Well," exhaled Michael, "it was something I really had to think about. It wasn't just what one person said, or just because of the workload. I'd gotten used to that. I'd gotten immersed in that. I had some of the best friends I could ever ask for in that job. Devon was like a second father to me, and Bonnie... She was so much. And Kitt meant the world to me. But I was starting to see that there wasn't a world for me outside Devon and Bonnie and Kitt and the Foundation and the work and the road. It was getting heavy. For all the years before that, though, I'd never realised just how heavy."
---
"Devon kept in touch. And I kept in touch with Devon. I sent him invitations to my wedding."
"Wedding?" chorused Shawn and Kitt, and Bonnie could see Kitt's scanner's pace leap.
"Yes, wedding. His name was Jason Mitchell. He was a Physics professor at MIT. The marriage didn't last long. A few years. Six. The problem was that we both loved work more than we loved each other, and when we did have time together, it felt... awkward. We never had children. Tried, at one point, but God only knows why it didn't work, and now I'm glad it didn't."
---
"Devon tried to keep in touch with me, but I didn't really want to keep in touch. Because things had changed. Things had changed a lot." Michael looked into his glass. "I'd started to resent him. And the whole place didn't feel right after Bonnie left. It wasn't like the last time. She'd went all the way back to Massachusetts.
"But I didn't get a real out, I couldn't make the conscious choice, until I got this phone call one day." He exhaled, and the breath was deep and long and as heavy as the load on his shoulders. "When I first got the job, first became Michael Knight, I did some really stupid stuff. I'd lost my whole life. So I made up for it by being reckless. But Gina --" He sighed. "She told me that day that I had a daughter."
---
"Jason and I stayed friends after we divorced, but I was learning a few things. My mom and dad had passed away. My sister was so involved with her life, her kids, that we barely had time for each other. And then there was this phone call. I could be a professor at CalTech for better than I was doing at MIT. And it hit me then how much I missed the west coast. So I didn't even bother thinking. I just said yes, packed everything, loaded up the moving van, and drove cross-country." And Bonnie, as she activated the chip reader, watching the process carefully but with more on her mind than the monitor, rubbed her forehead. "But everything had changed."
---
"Starting then, everything changed. Gina told me Renee - that's her name, Renee Douglas - had been asking about her father, and we both decided there, on the phone, that it would be good if I was a part of Renee's life. But I couldn't be part of her life and risk my life every day. The weight of the job really hit then."
---
"Knight Industries had moved up here to Seattle. And I heard from Devon that Michael had left. And that Kitt had been..." Bonnie looked over her shoulder, pained to say it aloud. "That he'd been... deactivated. But Devon stressed that it'd been temporary and had asked me not to come up, because it was only going to be for a while. When he didn't bring it up again, I figured everything was all right."
---
"So I left. I barely said goodbye to Devon. Let him know where I'd be, but I left. I didn't know until he got hold of me this last time what had happened to Kitt. Devon had thought that he would be waiting. It was that Maddock idiot who had him deactivated and disassembled and crated like so much junk." The venom was audible in his voice, and Becky could see how tightly he was holding on to the glass.
"I never thought I'd have to trade one life for another like that. I didn't even know there was going to be a trade."
---
"I let it rest. I didn't think anything was wrong until suddenly I heard about Devon's death, and then the whole story came reeling out from the guy who contacted me - guess who, Russ Maddock. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't believe..." Bonnie took in a deep, shaky breath, and even past the memory transfer, neither of them could sort through memories or files to find a time when she seemed more pained, more agitated.
"I never thought I'd hear that. Hear that you'd been taken for granted like that, that someone, anyone, could overlook what a miracle you are."
---
"I had a child. And I had a friend. It's unfair to ask me to choose one. But I had to."
---
"You're like my child, and I thought Michael was a friend to both of us. I don't understand."
---
"Maybe if I'd had Bonnie to talk to about the whole thing..."
---
"I wish I could've talked some sense into him."
---
In two places at once, there was silence as audience and speaker both only breathed. Emotions had to cool, to stabilise. Tears that hadn't been anticipated had to be quelled. And two voices spoke in tandem. "I would've done anything to keep Kitt safe."
One said, "If I'd just known."
The other said, "But how could I know?"
"I shouldn't have left."
"I had to leave."
"And now I've lost so much time."
---
Silence again. Becky reached out across the table and placed her hand on Michael's. Silence.
"You're old enough," she said quietly, "to know the 'hard decisions' speech. There are things we all do that we regret."
"And you can't change the past," he filled in.
"Right," she agreed softly. "But there's always the future."
---
"I know," exhaled Bonnie. "I know. That's why I'm here now. I've made my mistakes. I'm back now."
"It's another decision to make," agreed Shawn. "Was it hard?"
That, Bonnie smiled at. "No. I want to be here for Kitt. Even if I still think Michael needs a stern talking-to."
"Maybe he has his reasons too."
---
"Nobody knew. I didn't even tell Devon."
"Maybe it's time to tell them." Becky watched him, evaluating his expression before adding, more quietly, "Especially Bonnie."
"Now that she's here to tell?"
"Mmhm."
---
"I'm not looking forward to talking to him."
---
"She's not going to be very happy with me."
---
"Hard decisions," voices chorused.
---
"I've already made more than a few."
---
"Not the first or the last."
---
"Then maybe it's time to make another one," Becky told him.
Michael looked up again, at last. "I think it's already been made."
"Then it's time to carry through."
---
"Yeah. Time to carry through," Bonnie exhaled, and detached the sensors. "There. Done."
"You're a miracle-worker, Bonnie," Kitt said quietly.
"You're the miracle," Bonnie returned with a smile. "But we're still going to see about painting you black."
---
"Need a ride?" she asked quietly, nodding over to her Firebird.
"Nah. I'll go tomorrow. Besides, riding in a Firebird just isn't right without the dashboard talking to me." His smile was wistful. Hers was gentle.
"Then how about you take me for a ride in that boat of yours. Teach me to fish?"
Michael's smile widened. "Sure. I'll even loan you a pole."
------
It only gets harder from here.
Rating - PG/PG-13.
Family, Part 5 - Reasoning
"That engine just doesn't sound right." Even with a comment that could've been disparaging aimed toward them, the newcomers smiled. The woman in the labcoat was smiling as well. "Hi, Kitt. Hi, Shawn."
"Hello, Bonnie," both of them chorused.
"I'm glad you two came in," she said. "I've got that transfer worked out. We should be able to get Kitt at least a copy of his memories from your chip."
"Thank heavens," said Kitt. "I'd like to be able to fill in my own gaps."
Both women smiled at that. "And I'd like to be able to remember my own things without yours getting in the way," Shawn answered him, and sat down where Bonnie indicated. For those few moments, there was silence. Preparations were made, and Shawn wasn't nervous in the least. Kitt trusted Bonnie. That leached through the chip in her head, lending her to trust Bonnie as well. "So," she began, quiet, trying to break a tension that wasn't really there. "You're back? I mean, you're staying?"
"Looks like it," Bonnie said, speaking more to the chip reader than to Shawn. "April offered me the position. I'm almost on par with her, so I think I'll keep it."
"Good." And then, the words came from Shawn's lips that she didn't know she was saying until they were said. "I missed you."
Silence again, this time as Bonnie looked at her curiously. Shawn amended: "I mean... Kitt missed you."
Bonnie nodded. "I'd kind of figured it was him talking through your mouth."
"I can talk through my own vocalizers as well," Kitt mentioned from not too far away. Just like Bonnie preferred, her lab at the new Knight Industries had room for both people and car, as both were equally important in her eyes.
"Don't I know it," Bonnie grinned.
"But tell me," he continued, more quietly. "What happened, while you were gone?"
---
"That engine keeps bringing back memories." Both people smiled at the comment, a door slam only a bit of an interruption. The car had a strong V8, and despite how most had converted to the methane fuel, the old Firebird was one that still ran on good old gasoline, and sounded all the stronger for it.
"Hi, Michael," said Becky as she stepped over into his yard. "I got your message."
"I can tell. You showed up."
A laugh was shared between them, and Becky seated herself across the picnic table from Michael, picking up the glass of iced tea that was obviously meant for her. "How could I not?" she asked rhetorically after a sip. "You make great tea."
This time, it was just a smile, and there were a few moments of silence. Not quite silence, Becky amended to herself. There would always be the sound of the water, and the wind high in the trees. Birds, bugs, the ice in the glass. But neither of them were speaking. Michael didn't even look like he was thinking about speaking, for all he was looking out into nowhere.
A million other things were playing behind Michael's eyes. He'd called her to tell her the truth, but now that she was here, he was almost having cold feet. It was ridiculous - he was twenty years older than her, and here he was nervous about telling her about things that she was more than old enough to understand.
"Michael?"
"Huh? Oh - oh, yeah, sorry. Mind wandered. That's what happens when you get old." He smiled in that lopsided way he had, that Becky couldn't help but smile at in return. But she knew it was more than that.
"Michael," she began quietly, "I get the feeling you didn't just invite me out here for iced tea under your trees."
She didn't get an answer. So she plowed on quietly, "Michael, tell me what happened. Why did you leave the Foundation?"
---
"To begin with," Bonnie started, "I didn't leave because of anything anybody did. Not directly." She talked while she worked, affixing patches like heart monitor sensors to Shawn's temple. "I left because... because of the same things that hit after my first year. I wasn't getting any rest. I was never seeing my family. My blood family. All I did was work, and I wanted to have some time for me while I was still young. So I left. I figured, just like had happened before, someone would take over for me and everything would be okay."
---
"Well," exhaled Michael, "it was something I really had to think about. It wasn't just what one person said, or just because of the workload. I'd gotten used to that. I'd gotten immersed in that. I had some of the best friends I could ever ask for in that job. Devon was like a second father to me, and Bonnie... She was so much. And Kitt meant the world to me. But I was starting to see that there wasn't a world for me outside Devon and Bonnie and Kitt and the Foundation and the work and the road. It was getting heavy. For all the years before that, though, I'd never realised just how heavy."
---
"Devon kept in touch. And I kept in touch with Devon. I sent him invitations to my wedding."
"Wedding?" chorused Shawn and Kitt, and Bonnie could see Kitt's scanner's pace leap.
"Yes, wedding. His name was Jason Mitchell. He was a Physics professor at MIT. The marriage didn't last long. A few years. Six. The problem was that we both loved work more than we loved each other, and when we did have time together, it felt... awkward. We never had children. Tried, at one point, but God only knows why it didn't work, and now I'm glad it didn't."
---
"Devon tried to keep in touch with me, but I didn't really want to keep in touch. Because things had changed. Things had changed a lot." Michael looked into his glass. "I'd started to resent him. And the whole place didn't feel right after Bonnie left. It wasn't like the last time. She'd went all the way back to Massachusetts.
"But I didn't get a real out, I couldn't make the conscious choice, until I got this phone call one day." He exhaled, and the breath was deep and long and as heavy as the load on his shoulders. "When I first got the job, first became Michael Knight, I did some really stupid stuff. I'd lost my whole life. So I made up for it by being reckless. But Gina --" He sighed. "She told me that day that I had a daughter."
---
"Jason and I stayed friends after we divorced, but I was learning a few things. My mom and dad had passed away. My sister was so involved with her life, her kids, that we barely had time for each other. And then there was this phone call. I could be a professor at CalTech for better than I was doing at MIT. And it hit me then how much I missed the west coast. So I didn't even bother thinking. I just said yes, packed everything, loaded up the moving van, and drove cross-country." And Bonnie, as she activated the chip reader, watching the process carefully but with more on her mind than the monitor, rubbed her forehead. "But everything had changed."
---
"Starting then, everything changed. Gina told me Renee - that's her name, Renee Douglas - had been asking about her father, and we both decided there, on the phone, that it would be good if I was a part of Renee's life. But I couldn't be part of her life and risk my life every day. The weight of the job really hit then."
---
"Knight Industries had moved up here to Seattle. And I heard from Devon that Michael had left. And that Kitt had been..." Bonnie looked over her shoulder, pained to say it aloud. "That he'd been... deactivated. But Devon stressed that it'd been temporary and had asked me not to come up, because it was only going to be for a while. When he didn't bring it up again, I figured everything was all right."
---
"So I left. I barely said goodbye to Devon. Let him know where I'd be, but I left. I didn't know until he got hold of me this last time what had happened to Kitt. Devon had thought that he would be waiting. It was that Maddock idiot who had him deactivated and disassembled and crated like so much junk." The venom was audible in his voice, and Becky could see how tightly he was holding on to the glass.
"I never thought I'd have to trade one life for another like that. I didn't even know there was going to be a trade."
---
"I let it rest. I didn't think anything was wrong until suddenly I heard about Devon's death, and then the whole story came reeling out from the guy who contacted me - guess who, Russ Maddock. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't believe..." Bonnie took in a deep, shaky breath, and even past the memory transfer, neither of them could sort through memories or files to find a time when she seemed more pained, more agitated.
"I never thought I'd hear that. Hear that you'd been taken for granted like that, that someone, anyone, could overlook what a miracle you are."
---
"I had a child. And I had a friend. It's unfair to ask me to choose one. But I had to."
---
"You're like my child, and I thought Michael was a friend to both of us. I don't understand."
---
"Maybe if I'd had Bonnie to talk to about the whole thing..."
---
"I wish I could've talked some sense into him."
---
In two places at once, there was silence as audience and speaker both only breathed. Emotions had to cool, to stabilise. Tears that hadn't been anticipated had to be quelled. And two voices spoke in tandem. "I would've done anything to keep Kitt safe."
One said, "If I'd just known."
The other said, "But how could I know?"
"I shouldn't have left."
"I had to leave."
"And now I've lost so much time."
---
Silence again. Becky reached out across the table and placed her hand on Michael's. Silence.
"You're old enough," she said quietly, "to know the 'hard decisions' speech. There are things we all do that we regret."
"And you can't change the past," he filled in.
"Right," she agreed softly. "But there's always the future."
---
"I know," exhaled Bonnie. "I know. That's why I'm here now. I've made my mistakes. I'm back now."
"It's another decision to make," agreed Shawn. "Was it hard?"
That, Bonnie smiled at. "No. I want to be here for Kitt. Even if I still think Michael needs a stern talking-to."
"Maybe he has his reasons too."
---
"Nobody knew. I didn't even tell Devon."
"Maybe it's time to tell them." Becky watched him, evaluating his expression before adding, more quietly, "Especially Bonnie."
"Now that she's here to tell?"
"Mmhm."
---
"I'm not looking forward to talking to him."
---
"She's not going to be very happy with me."
---
"Hard decisions," voices chorused.
---
"I've already made more than a few."
---
"Not the first or the last."
---
"Then maybe it's time to make another one," Becky told him.
Michael looked up again, at last. "I think it's already been made."
"Then it's time to carry through."
---
"Yeah. Time to carry through," Bonnie exhaled, and detached the sensors. "There. Done."
"You're a miracle-worker, Bonnie," Kitt said quietly.
"You're the miracle," Bonnie returned with a smile. "But we're still going to see about painting you black."
---
"Need a ride?" she asked quietly, nodding over to her Firebird.
"Nah. I'll go tomorrow. Besides, riding in a Firebird just isn't right without the dashboard talking to me." His smile was wistful. Hers was gentle.
"Then how about you take me for a ride in that boat of yours. Teach me to fish?"
Michael's smile widened. "Sure. I'll even loan you a pole."
------
It only gets harder from here.