Dark Times at the Closing of the Summer
It's easy to go to bed every night with a head full of worry, wonder, and want if you just tell yourself it's all going to be better tomorrow. Sleep changes nothing. Self-prescribed assurances are empty. No one can make you better but yourself and sometimes, you're just too late in the actual realization of it all. You go to bed with aspirations for the coming day.
"Things will pick up. Everything will look better after a good night's sleep. After all, tomorrow is another day!" But it's not another day. It's the same god damn day it was when you thought you couldn't get any lower. The only difference is that you had hope before. You awaken without even a shred of it. This is how addictions start. Crawl inside your favorite bottle/bong/hypodermic because, quite frankly, you've got nothing left to lose but yourself.
I'm supposed to go to Toronto tonight for the weekend. I don't know if it's such a great idea now. I've been pretty depressed for the last few days and been desperately trying to hide it. Getting totally wrecked in an unfamiliar city has bad news written all over it. I just don't know which way is up anymore. I need to get something published soon. I have a feeling that if I don't get some of this work into the mainstream ASAP then I won't have enough time left to really make something that people can appreciate before I'm gone and forgotten. I never thought I'd hear myself say this AGAIN but... I just can't take it anymore.
"Things will pick up. Everything will look better after a good night's sleep. After all, tomorrow is another day!" But it's not another day. It's the same god damn day it was when you thought you couldn't get any lower. The only difference is that you had hope before. You awaken without even a shred of it. This is how addictions start. Crawl inside your favorite bottle/bong/hypodermic because, quite frankly, you've got nothing left to lose but yourself.
I'm supposed to go to Toronto tonight for the weekend. I don't know if it's such a great idea now. I've been pretty depressed for the last few days and been desperately trying to hide it. Getting totally wrecked in an unfamiliar city has bad news written all over it. I just don't know which way is up anymore. I need to get something published soon. I have a feeling that if I don't get some of this work into the mainstream ASAP then I won't have enough time left to really make something that people can appreciate before I'm gone and forgotten. I never thought I'd hear myself say this AGAIN but... I just can't take it anymore.