Reviewage. Beware...contains drug references and snark. BAHAHA
-"You just totally saved my life. You are amazing." Okay, I know that sometimes little kids like to write screenplays and shit. But COME ON. YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS. PULL THE CREATIVITY OUT OF THE ENDLESS ABYSS OF YOUR ASS. God.....
-Chlark banter in the beginning. I am bored. CGI didn't fail to impress tho. Vewwy cutting edge. Oh, and of course, Tom didn't fail to impress either. *mops up puddle of drool under desk*
-One minor question tho, where is Lana in all this "Hollywood coming to film shit" at Clark's farm hubbub? I need me some KK.
- THERE SHE IS!!!! Clark is POUNDING wooden posts into the ground while Lana watches. MMMMMMMMMM.
- Oh my God, what a TEASINGLY GOOD SCENE. I HATE YOU KRISTOM. AND YOUR PURDYNESS. Lana goes " I can think of other ways to burn calories." JUST FUCK ALREADY.
-Uh oh, Lana jealousy. It's ok bb, Christina Milian got nothin on yooh.
-This is boring, there is no need for commentary.
- OOOH ITS ZACH AND BOOBS. *dies*
-Man, boobs is more stubborn than I AM.
-ZOMG ITS LIONEL! WHAT THE FUCKERY?!?!?!?! HE looks half doed too. Yummy.
-Methinks Lionel is being purposely kept against his will. By Lex, maybe? HMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
-It also looks like the culprit is living in a house that is cultivating the GANJ, so load me a bowl, pls? Kthx.
-OH MY GOD. THAT HO. CHRISTINA MILLIAN trying to rehearse kissing scenes with Clark. HAHAHA LANA WALKS IN. YOU GO BETCH.
- "I hope Clark has saved some of those lines to rehearse with me later." CAN WE GET ANY MORE CUES FOR THEM TO JUMP EACHOTHER CW?
- OH MY GOD. KRISTOM IS TALKING ABOUT WARRIOR ANGEL FANBLOGS. OH MY GOD I JUST PEED MYSELF. *thinks of this blog and the PT.* *dies*
- Wow, Lex definitely has a fancy schmancy comic book rack that is conveniently and dramatically well lit for someone who hasn't picked up a comic book since "HIM AND CLARK WERE BUTT BUDDIEZ MMKAY?"
- Awww it's one of the crew men trying to kill Christina! Hopefully he is successful.
- Dammit! Clark CAUGHT ze bullet. And was seen by murderous crew guy all at the same time. HMMMM how many times has THIS sort of thing happened? Hahahahhaha. Nevermind. I really don't want to count. Cause I might throw up. And as
skanking_easy just so eloquently put, we probably can't count that high.
- Uh oh, BOOBS was caught snooping through Luthorcorp by LEX. Oh, and take the hooker schoolgirl glasses off you hooker. YOU DON'T NEED THEM. LAME.
- I swear no matter what Boobs does, she looks like she just walked off of HARRY HINES BOULEVARD after a night of workin it.
-Um. EW. Lionel practically just like uhhh..ripped his hand off. UNNECESSARY. GROTSKY.
-Ok...wtf is Christina Milian doing. A body massage in the middle of the Kent's livingroom is NOT APPROPRIATE.
-This is alllll kinds of Lame.
-AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH. LANA JUST TOOK A SHOVEL TO LIONELS HEAD. AND OH MY GOD SHE IS THE ONE KEEPING LIONEL TRAPPED!
-WHAT THE FUCK. GREAT. JUST GREAT. OF COURSE SHE'S THE ONE. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHSDKGHEIGHRE.
-What are they doing to my show? Wait, why am I even asking anymore? ALL I WANT IS THE OLD CLANA. I WANT A CUTE SCENE. FUCKERS! *goes into rage blackout*
-BRING THE PINK BACK YOU ASSHATTARDS! I WILL BEAT YOU WITH STICK THAT HAS A GIANT STEEL SHAPED PASTRY AT THE END OF IT. Yes, YOU HEARD ME CORRECT.
-Not only that, but as
skanking_easy just expressed to me, HOW DO THEY JUSTIFY HER LYING AFTER EVERYTHING SHE COMPLAINED ABOUT WITH CLARK'S SECRET.
-Just lock them in a room with rose petals everywhere, a nice supply of well lit and nicely scented candles, silk sheets, and a bottle of champagne. AND LET THEM BANGAGA EACHOTHERS BRIZZAINS OUT.
-I am like....so bored with this shit. WHERE IS MAH CLANA.
-OH SHIT. LEX IN THE HASH ROOM. HE FOUND LIONEL. OH FUCK. HE IS GONNA FIND OUT. Shit.
-Ok yeah Lionel pretty much just killed that bitch. Brutally.
- Awww Lana and Christina talking about how much Clark LOGGS HER.
-Well, shit......uhh..Lana and Christina just got TAZED by crazie dude. Ohhh the damsels. YELL FOR HIM, BETCH.
- Hahahahah...Clark and the line he has said a bajillion times. "Lana..."
- Ok that was one of the coolest shots I have EVAR SEEN. Lana falling from a hugeass skyscraper. Clark, instead of running down to catch her....DIVES, catches her in midair, and they STARE at eachother for about 10 seconds, then Clark crushes a car. They SMILE AT EACHOTHER AND EYEFUCK EACHOTHER BUT STILL NO FUCKING KISS. WHAT THE FUCK.
-They are trying to kill my brain.
I now interrupt this running commentary with a few comments from the spectators.
smatbabie: if they dont kiss after this i will KILL SOMETHING
smatbabie: HAHAHAHAHAHA
smatbabie: SMOOSHIED CAR
smatbabie: KISS ALREADY
craziekatie2006: um
smatbabie: WTF
craziekatie2006: where was that kiss?
smatbabie: yeah i must be going blind cuz i missed it
smatbabie: AND I KNOW THEY DIDNT NOT KISS
smatbabie: CUZ TEH CW PPL DONT WANNA DOE
smatbabie: DO THEY
smatbabie: CUZ UH.
smatbabie: *CRACKS KNUCKLES AND GRABS SHOTGUN AND PITCHFORK*
smatbabie: *PICKS YOU UP*
craziekatie2006: like
craziekatie2006: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT
-Okay we are bizzack. And boobs just got asked on a semi date with ZACH. Bahah.
-LOFT SCENE. FUCK LIONEL IS IN THERE. OH SHIT. And he knows. Dammit. Secrets. This. Sucks. He just told her if she knows what is good for her she will let Clark go.
- I HATE THIS SHOW.
- CLANA MOMENT I TINK!?!?!?! MAYBE? Fuck its Christina. Wearing what appears to be a giant plum. And here comes Lana. Hopefully to fuck his brains out. Not break it off.
-I don't like the look on her face.
-KISS HER. KISSSS HER! What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK.WHERE IS IT. OH MY GOD. So Clark gets a cape in a box. How symbolic. I DONT CARE. UGH.
-NOTHING. JUST TEASING SHIT. I AM ANGRY AS HELL. They should have kissed at least 3 times. WHAT THE FUCK.
-Next week looks shitty. I am pissed, TIME FOR GREYS. DO NOT DISSAPPOINT ME SHONDA.
Oh, and as I was finalizing this and watching grey's, Meredith just dropped her mother's ashes on the floor in the hallway. And she and DerDer are picking them up. *dies*