(no subject)
Graduation was off the chain!
Not really.
Dr. Grant (Dean of the school...and my 2nd grade teacher's husband) got up to give his speech and spent 20 minutes going on and on about what a great school San Jac is and how we've won all these prestigeous, obscure awards. I was sitting in the front row...on stage...and watching Erika, dad and Brian as they made faux-impressed faces. At one point, when it seemed Dr. Grant would wet himself from the excitement of being Dead of SJC, Erika looked right at me and mouthed (complete with excited hand gestures), "Well, sign me up!"
Then came the actual pinning and hatting portion of the ceremony, complete with thank-you's, written by each student, and read aloud by the worst orator we could possibly find. [We had all decided originally that Ms. Murphy would read the thank-you's, and Mr. Rodriguez would read the Spanish thank-you's. Then, somehow, it all got switched, and Mr. Rodriguez read ALL the thank-you's.]
This guy couldn't public-speak his way out of a wet paper bag. Imagine a sentence that goes a little something like this:
First, I would like to thank my mother for being an enabler.
Pretty simple stuff, right. This is how Mr. Rod-Hooked On Phonics-riguez read it:
First I would...like....to thank...my....my mother...for...bringing..er..being an...an....en...en...enabler?
He didn't read the sentence as though it were a question; he was actually questioning the validity of "enabler" being a real word.
Brian and Danielle made the comment, "Did he just learn to read English 6 months ago?"
At least my party went a little more smoothly. Erika and Lisa came up with this cute little game-thing where they cut up some poster board into puzzle-like pieces with black lines all over them (Brian says they spell my name, but I don't know) and each party-person had to draw something on it that reminded them of me. Well, I invited a LOT more people than who actually came, so by the end of the night, there were TONS of pieces left over that Erika and Lisa are having to finish on their own. So, to all you losers who missed the party, you missed coloring time, too. Take that, suckers!
After the party, Sara and I went to the movies and saw Snakes on a Plane. Worst.
Movie.
Ever.
It was so awesome. Fantastically crappily done! Weakest backstory in the history of movies. Horrendous dialogue. Shallow plot lines. Predictable plot twists.
In short: a classic B movie. I recommend it for everyone. (I especially enjoyed the demise of the British guy...those of you close to me will understand why.)
My presents have thus far included:
A $25 Target gift card, courtesy of Sara.
A $30 Origins gift card, courtesy of Ranjana (and Richard).
A $100 check, courtesy of the Grandparents of the Jewish persuasion.
A photo album full of pictures of moi growing up with 10 $10 bills in the back, courtesy of the Grandparents of the Christian persuasion.
A $200 check, courtesy of The Reffners (whom I dogsit for. $100 was for grad; the other $100 was my 'fee' for playing at their daughter's wedding reception last weekend).
And something that's on order, courtesy of Erika and Lisa...which has just dawned on me miiiight be season two of Coupling...but that's just a guess, I swear.
My announcements should be arriving soon, and I'll send those out to my family and hopefully get even more money! Yay!
Also, I must say, Sara wins the award for Best Freaking Card Ever! The outside of the card said, "Never give up," and on the inside, she pasted a computer-printed picture of Alan Rickman as Dr. Lazarus from Galaxy Quest and wrote, "Never Surrender! ♥ A. Rickman" It's not only funny because the movie is funny; the weekend before, on the way home from Trystan's going away party, we were quoting the movie back and forth and I kept saying, "Mmmmmmmweeee.....neeed yourhelp!" and she would laugh and laugh. We had a gay old time.
So, congratulations, Sara. Excellent use of wit, movie-trivia, inside jokes and copyrighted images!
Not really.
Dr. Grant (Dean of the school...and my 2nd grade teacher's husband) got up to give his speech and spent 20 minutes going on and on about what a great school San Jac is and how we've won all these prestigeous, obscure awards. I was sitting in the front row...on stage...and watching Erika, dad and Brian as they made faux-impressed faces. At one point, when it seemed Dr. Grant would wet himself from the excitement of being Dead of SJC, Erika looked right at me and mouthed (complete with excited hand gestures), "Well, sign me up!"
Then came the actual pinning and hatting portion of the ceremony, complete with thank-you's, written by each student, and read aloud by the worst orator we could possibly find. [We had all decided originally that Ms. Murphy would read the thank-you's, and Mr. Rodriguez would read the Spanish thank-you's. Then, somehow, it all got switched, and Mr. Rodriguez read ALL the thank-you's.]
This guy couldn't public-speak his way out of a wet paper bag. Imagine a sentence that goes a little something like this:
First, I would like to thank my mother for being an enabler.
Pretty simple stuff, right. This is how Mr. Rod-Hooked On Phonics-riguez read it:
First I would...like....to thank...my....my mother...for...bringing..er..being an...an....en...en...enabler?
He didn't read the sentence as though it were a question; he was actually questioning the validity of "enabler" being a real word.
Brian and Danielle made the comment, "Did he just learn to read English 6 months ago?"
At least my party went a little more smoothly. Erika and Lisa came up with this cute little game-thing where they cut up some poster board into puzzle-like pieces with black lines all over them (Brian says they spell my name, but I don't know) and each party-person had to draw something on it that reminded them of me. Well, I invited a LOT more people than who actually came, so by the end of the night, there were TONS of pieces left over that Erika and Lisa are having to finish on their own. So, to all you losers who missed the party, you missed coloring time, too. Take that, suckers!
After the party, Sara and I went to the movies and saw Snakes on a Plane. Worst.
Movie.
Ever.
It was so awesome. Fantastically crappily done! Weakest backstory in the history of movies. Horrendous dialogue. Shallow plot lines. Predictable plot twists.
In short: a classic B movie. I recommend it for everyone. (I especially enjoyed the demise of the British guy...those of you close to me will understand why.)
My presents have thus far included:
A $25 Target gift card, courtesy of Sara.
A $30 Origins gift card, courtesy of Ranjana (and Richard).
A $100 check, courtesy of the Grandparents of the Jewish persuasion.
A photo album full of pictures of moi growing up with 10 $10 bills in the back, courtesy of the Grandparents of the Christian persuasion.
A $200 check, courtesy of The Reffners (whom I dogsit for. $100 was for grad; the other $100 was my 'fee' for playing at their daughter's wedding reception last weekend).
And something that's on order, courtesy of Erika and Lisa...which has just dawned on me miiiight be season two of Coupling...but that's just a guess, I swear.
My announcements should be arriving soon, and I'll send those out to my family and hopefully get even more money! Yay!
Also, I must say, Sara wins the award for Best Freaking Card Ever! The outside of the card said, "Never give up," and on the inside, she pasted a computer-printed picture of Alan Rickman as Dr. Lazarus from Galaxy Quest and wrote, "Never Surrender! ♥ A. Rickman" It's not only funny because the movie is funny; the weekend before, on the way home from Trystan's going away party, we were quoting the movie back and forth and I kept saying, "Mmmmmmmweeee.....neeed yourhelp!" and she would laugh and laugh. We had a gay old time.
So, congratulations, Sara. Excellent use of wit, movie-trivia, inside jokes and copyrighted images!