longest post i have ever writen....and if you are in a good moood don't read this
well it has been a long time since i have posted anything so i am goin to tel you what is goin on in my life....i am still with jayne which is the most important thing.....8 months yay......
well tonight was awsome b/c i got to hang out with my girl friend, which was so awsome...but i got home and i put on hbo....and there was a program on about 911...it made me think a lot about that year of school.....that year i had lost three of the most important people in my life...two of which passed away and one of which decided to hate me...
there is so much i wanna beable to say the my grandpa who died in late november right after my birthday...i don't think he ever realized how much i loved him...and how much he really ment to me and what a big help he was with a lot of the things i was goin through...when i found out he died i was heart broken but at the same time i felt nothing....i had never lost any one before....so i didn't know how to feel....for 3 days after the funeral i sat in the attic and cried...i am not exagerating this at all....i could't stop...i didn't talk to my parents i only came down to eat and go to the bathroom...i wouldn't go to school, or talk to my friends when the called or came over....i felt so alone...he was my favorite person in the world and he was taken from me so fast and without warning...but he lived a long health great life and died without pain...the seocnd person i lost was my great aunt caroline....my grandpa's sister....she was also so awosme and up beat and was always so happy....she was wonderful....i was in florida when it happened...i was visting all my family there....and on the last night i was packing my things at my grandma's house when my parenst called from home to tell me that she died....my brother and i were so confused...we had seen her earlier that day....at breakfest...and little did i know that that would be the last time i saw her...
for those who know me and know who i loved in 9th grade you know who the third person i lost was that year...
freshman year was hard.....wierd b/c i was in a new school with new people.....and depression was a big issue with me and the loss of 3 of my favorite people in my life...i dunno why i wrote this....most of you who read this probibly won;t even get this far.....but yea....i am in just a wierd mood b/c i am o so depressed but at the same time i am so happy b/c i have jayne.....and she means so much to me.....more then i ever thought she would.....jayne baby i love you.....well i have a feeling sleep will not happen tonight b/c i am in one of my can't stop thinking/ crying moods.....and yes i know i am a bitch but i can't help it...
well tonight was awsome b/c i got to hang out with my girl friend, which was so awsome...but i got home and i put on hbo....and there was a program on about 911...it made me think a lot about that year of school.....that year i had lost three of the most important people in my life...two of which passed away and one of which decided to hate me...
there is so much i wanna beable to say the my grandpa who died in late november right after my birthday...i don't think he ever realized how much i loved him...and how much he really ment to me and what a big help he was with a lot of the things i was goin through...when i found out he died i was heart broken but at the same time i felt nothing....i had never lost any one before....so i didn't know how to feel....for 3 days after the funeral i sat in the attic and cried...i am not exagerating this at all....i could't stop...i didn't talk to my parents i only came down to eat and go to the bathroom...i wouldn't go to school, or talk to my friends when the called or came over....i felt so alone...he was my favorite person in the world and he was taken from me so fast and without warning...but he lived a long health great life and died without pain...the seocnd person i lost was my great aunt caroline....my grandpa's sister....she was also so awosme and up beat and was always so happy....she was wonderful....i was in florida when it happened...i was visting all my family there....and on the last night i was packing my things at my grandma's house when my parenst called from home to tell me that she died....my brother and i were so confused...we had seen her earlier that day....at breakfest...and little did i know that that would be the last time i saw her...
for those who know me and know who i loved in 9th grade you know who the third person i lost was that year...
freshman year was hard.....wierd b/c i was in a new school with new people.....and depression was a big issue with me and the loss of 3 of my favorite people in my life...i dunno why i wrote this....most of you who read this probibly won;t even get this far.....but yea....i am in just a wierd mood b/c i am o so depressed but at the same time i am so happy b/c i have jayne.....and she means so much to me.....more then i ever thought she would.....jayne baby i love you.....well i have a feeling sleep will not happen tonight b/c i am in one of my can't stop thinking/ crying moods.....and yes i know i am a bitch but i can't help it...