What are you hiding from?
It doesn’t hit often.
Severus twists and turns and avoids with the best of them. He can ignore what he cannot manipulate and as a Spy, he’s learned to pick and choose; as a torturer at the Carrow’s knee, he can endure so much more then he can give out. He’s never quite mastered control over his tongue, or his temper but even that, even now, can be used as weapons. Disguises. He’s learned to hide behind what makes him so dismissible.
But what is he hiding?
And from who?
There’s the obvious, of course, Voldemort and Dumbledore and both and neither. He hides from seeing too much, or from being seen. He tries to be helpful but not too helpful, reliable but not too important. He wants to be noticed but he can’t be too crucial because then people will wonder, Masters will wonder…are you theirs? Are you his? Mine? Nobody’s?
And occasionally it hits him. When he’s maudlin or it’s Halloween, when he fixes something with his hands like a Muggle he’s forgotten how to be, or just when no one has use of their Spy and he’s allowed to retire; quiet and unassuming to whatever snakes slither back to when it’s time to rest.
Serving a Master he does not love, and betraying a Master he believes in makes him property of neither. The School is temporary, he’s vaguely aware of that and while he might tease McGonagall, debate Filius and assist Paloma, he is no more theirs then he belongs to Tobias, and Morgan a lifetime ago.
And what if someone sees that?
What if someone knows?
Not his. Not yours. She’s gone.
Then who’s?
The angry kid from a lifetime ago is dying to belong, and afraid to show his hand. He’s willing to lie, cheat and steal to belong knowing full well that all the while, if he slips, if they notice him…then the Spy becomes useless.
Luckily for him; Snape can dance and twist with the best of them. Look at his teachers.
Severus Snape
Harry Potter
340
Severus twists and turns and avoids with the best of them. He can ignore what he cannot manipulate and as a Spy, he’s learned to pick and choose; as a torturer at the Carrow’s knee, he can endure so much more then he can give out. He’s never quite mastered control over his tongue, or his temper but even that, even now, can be used as weapons. Disguises. He’s learned to hide behind what makes him so dismissible.
But what is he hiding?
And from who?
There’s the obvious, of course, Voldemort and Dumbledore and both and neither. He hides from seeing too much, or from being seen. He tries to be helpful but not too helpful, reliable but not too important. He wants to be noticed but he can’t be too crucial because then people will wonder, Masters will wonder…are you theirs? Are you his? Mine? Nobody’s?
And occasionally it hits him. When he’s maudlin or it’s Halloween, when he fixes something with his hands like a Muggle he’s forgotten how to be, or just when no one has use of their Spy and he’s allowed to retire; quiet and unassuming to whatever snakes slither back to when it’s time to rest.
Serving a Master he does not love, and betraying a Master he believes in makes him property of neither. The School is temporary, he’s vaguely aware of that and while he might tease McGonagall, debate Filius and assist Paloma, he is no more theirs then he belongs to Tobias, and Morgan a lifetime ago.
And what if someone sees that?
What if someone knows?
Not his. Not yours. She’s gone.
Then who’s?
The angry kid from a lifetime ago is dying to belong, and afraid to show his hand. He’s willing to lie, cheat and steal to belong knowing full well that all the while, if he slips, if they notice him…then the Spy becomes useless.
Luckily for him; Snape can dance and twist with the best of them. Look at his teachers.
Severus Snape
Harry Potter
340