Wanted: a Butterfly Net for my Stomach
After a somewhat major breakdown last week (I spent Thursday, Friday, and Saturday exhausted to the point of illness), today I managed to accomplish in a few hours what I tried to do for four full days.
A week ago I found out that I would be responsible for delivering a four-hour writers workshop to the group that I work with. I am a lowly editor (okay, not so lowly), and a vendor rather than a direct employee in this group. Panic and confidence started a civil war in the region of my stomach.
Panic kept shouting barbed points:
- I'm a vendor. I have no standing to tell these people how they should do their jobs.
- I've never done a presentation like this.
- I'm not only exposing myself to failure, I'm representing my employer who depends on this contract and stands to lose reputation if I do a bad job.
- I've avoided stuff like this my whole life.
- I've never created handouts.
- I've never created and delivered a PowerPoint presentation.
- I don't even have a freaking degree!
- I only have a week!
Confidence lobbed back:
- I have trained as a presenter and done well.
- I know my stuff.
- I am a good editor, and a good editor knows good writing and can help writers achieve it.
- I have a background in theater and am a good and comfortable public speaker.
- I have edited many PowerPoint presentations.
- I co-developed and co-led a two-DAY workshop for my non-profit, World Forgiveness Initiative.
- I helped shape and participated in a similar training for my co-vendors in August.
- I only have to come up with the first half of the training for this week.
- I really am good at this type of thing. (I hope!)
During the same week, I also had extreme personal stress in addition to even more work stress than usual. I may get to that in another post, but no promises. Hence the exhaustion, hence starting today with less than 20% of my preparation for tomorrow's training done. Did I mention that these lovely people scheduled the training for 8:00 AM? Bastards. I am not a morning person, and even morning people don't willing engage in a "class" like this first thing in the work day. Hmph.
Cutting to the chase, I am about to log off and pack up in preparation for my ungodly early commute tomorrow. In the last 8 hours I have:
- Finished and polished my first PowerPoint presentation
- Added my speaker's notes to said presentation, and printed the result.
- Created and printed multiple handouts, including a take-home exercise.
- Printed supporting materials to review in the morning.
- Planned, prepared, and packed nutritious food for the morning.
- Chosen and set out my outfit.
I am prepared and confident! I just hope my stomach gets the news by tomorrow morning.... :)
Thanks to Richard, who gave me the foundation; to Dalton, who saved my sanity by volunteering to run the AV; to Darin and the rest of Entirenet for having confidence in me; and most of all to my sweet Mac, who took care of me Thursday and all weekend, who reviewed my first outline and pronounced it solid, and who always, always makes me feel loved, strong, and capable.
Damn, I'm good. And man, I'm lucky.
A week ago I found out that I would be responsible for delivering a four-hour writers workshop to the group that I work with. I am a lowly editor (okay, not so lowly), and a vendor rather than a direct employee in this group. Panic and confidence started a civil war in the region of my stomach.
Panic kept shouting barbed points:
- I'm a vendor. I have no standing to tell these people how they should do their jobs.
- I've never done a presentation like this.
- I'm not only exposing myself to failure, I'm representing my employer who depends on this contract and stands to lose reputation if I do a bad job.
- I've avoided stuff like this my whole life.
- I've never created handouts.
- I've never created and delivered a PowerPoint presentation.
- I don't even have a freaking degree!
- I only have a week!
Confidence lobbed back:
- I have trained as a presenter and done well.
- I know my stuff.
- I am a good editor, and a good editor knows good writing and can help writers achieve it.
- I have a background in theater and am a good and comfortable public speaker.
- I have edited many PowerPoint presentations.
- I co-developed and co-led a two-DAY workshop for my non-profit, World Forgiveness Initiative.
- I helped shape and participated in a similar training for my co-vendors in August.
- I only have to come up with the first half of the training for this week.
- I really am good at this type of thing. (I hope!)
During the same week, I also had extreme personal stress in addition to even more work stress than usual. I may get to that in another post, but no promises. Hence the exhaustion, hence starting today with less than 20% of my preparation for tomorrow's training done. Did I mention that these lovely people scheduled the training for 8:00 AM? Bastards. I am not a morning person, and even morning people don't willing engage in a "class" like this first thing in the work day. Hmph.
Cutting to the chase, I am about to log off and pack up in preparation for my ungodly early commute tomorrow. In the last 8 hours I have:
- Finished and polished my first PowerPoint presentation
- Added my speaker's notes to said presentation, and printed the result.
- Created and printed multiple handouts, including a take-home exercise.
- Printed supporting materials to review in the morning.
- Planned, prepared, and packed nutritious food for the morning.
- Chosen and set out my outfit.
I am prepared and confident! I just hope my stomach gets the news by tomorrow morning.... :)
Thanks to Richard, who gave me the foundation; to Dalton, who saved my sanity by volunteering to run the AV; to Darin and the rest of Entirenet for having confidence in me; and most of all to my sweet Mac, who took care of me Thursday and all weekend, who reviewed my first outline and pronounced it solid, and who always, always makes me feel loved, strong, and capable.
Damn, I'm good. And man, I'm lucky.