I should be asleep. Stupid me.
Can't sleep. I laid down at 2am, feeling about as sleepy as I usually do when I go to bed (which is to say, not all that sleepy), and today for some reason it didn't work. Awake I lay, thinking at first about HERO system and an adventure I'm thinking of adapting to run for one of my playgroups, and then guiltily about my project, and then wonderingly that I could feel so accomplished when I'd only read 3 papers. They'd been pretty deep and extremely useful papers, but even so, that's far from great. This must say something meaningful about how little work I've been doing lately. But it did feel good to get things done, things that mattered.
I always find my bed incredibly, incomprehensibly comfortable in the morning, but now I'm either too cold from the breeze of my open window or too hot from the covers. One pillow is too hard, the other too soft. Toss, turn, fail.
Maybe eating the bagel helped. I can never go to sleep hungry.
For some reason, I started thinking of the Lorax. I thought of it the other day, and found a full page of quotes on IMDB. I don't know any other work as well as I know the Lorax, I think. I watched it a few years ago, and I knew every line. Every inflection. I think there's a good Lorax post in me, so I'll save most of my tree-speaker musings for that.
My CPU fan is likely a large part of the problem. It's obscenely loud for trying to sleep, and it's not constant. It started ... squealing? not quite that loud, and not quite grinding ... about 2 weeks ago, about when I started sleeping poorly again. At least I think they coincide. I suppose I should just shut the stupid thing off for the night. I think I'll try that, actually. I hate to pause my downloads, but I do need sleep.
Now that I think about it, I'm surprised I haven't been kept up more nights because of that stupid fan. I've never found it easy to get to sleep. Maybe that's why I've been staying up to 4am all the time lately - I've been going to sleep exhausted, because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until then.
Need to do more tomorrow. Need a passport before the 27th. Might be able to get everything together for it tomorrow. And then phone AirMiles, and then try to get this project together in 3 weeks. Ugh.
I wish I could somehow get by on 5h of sleep a night like my roommate Ben on his vegan diet. Or less like my friend Kyra. I think I might need to pull some very late nights in the next 19 days. I should put my name on the list to see a sleep specialist after that. I might have mild sleep apnea or something.
I think a lot about sleep. I read a book a year ago that stuck firmly in my mind, entitled Between the Strokes of Midnight. The main character's mantra was "sleep is the enemy" - she was cool. Curse you sleep. Give me back those years of my life. I wish I could practice what she preached, and take them back.
I probably shouldn't post when I'm this stupid with tired-ness. Maybe it'll amuse me when I'm awake. Or maybe I'll find my stream of consciousness, my duration exposed, to be disturbing and irritating. And strangely Adaptation-esque.
Heh. You're funny, Brian Eno. Also, my cat is 'numb', yet crying. Silly kitty.
I always find my bed incredibly, incomprehensibly comfortable in the morning, but now I'm either too cold from the breeze of my open window or too hot from the covers. One pillow is too hard, the other too soft. Toss, turn, fail.
Maybe eating the bagel helped. I can never go to sleep hungry.
For some reason, I started thinking of the Lorax. I thought of it the other day, and found a full page of quotes on IMDB. I don't know any other work as well as I know the Lorax, I think. I watched it a few years ago, and I knew every line. Every inflection. I think there's a good Lorax post in me, so I'll save most of my tree-speaker musings for that.
My CPU fan is likely a large part of the problem. It's obscenely loud for trying to sleep, and it's not constant. It started ... squealing? not quite that loud, and not quite grinding ... about 2 weeks ago, about when I started sleeping poorly again. At least I think they coincide. I suppose I should just shut the stupid thing off for the night. I think I'll try that, actually. I hate to pause my downloads, but I do need sleep.
Now that I think about it, I'm surprised I haven't been kept up more nights because of that stupid fan. I've never found it easy to get to sleep. Maybe that's why I've been staying up to 4am all the time lately - I've been going to sleep exhausted, because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until then.
Need to do more tomorrow. Need a passport before the 27th. Might be able to get everything together for it tomorrow. And then phone AirMiles, and then try to get this project together in 3 weeks. Ugh.
I wish I could somehow get by on 5h of sleep a night like my roommate Ben on his vegan diet. Or less like my friend Kyra. I think I might need to pull some very late nights in the next 19 days. I should put my name on the list to see a sleep specialist after that. I might have mild sleep apnea or something.
I think a lot about sleep. I read a book a year ago that stuck firmly in my mind, entitled Between the Strokes of Midnight. The main character's mantra was "sleep is the enemy" - she was cool. Curse you sleep. Give me back those years of my life. I wish I could practice what she preached, and take them back.
I probably shouldn't post when I'm this stupid with tired-ness. Maybe it'll amuse me when I'm awake. Or maybe I'll find my stream of consciousness, my duration exposed, to be disturbing and irritating. And strangely Adaptation-esque.
Heh. You're funny, Brian Eno. Also, my cat is 'numb', yet crying. Silly kitty.