(no subject)
So earlier I began wondering about how I came to where I am in terms of my academic interests. I suppose a sugar coating of it would be "a retroactive introspective analysis of my current academic interests" while a layman's version would be "what leads me to believe I like what I plan to pursue as a major?".
When I think about it, it is quite complex. There is:
-the fact that I have always been rather interested in the natural sciences. I remember as a kid, my dad used to take my hiking a lot and he taught me the names of many trees. I also used to read a lot of books like "The Big Book of Answers" which was essentially a huge freakin' book (like 700 pages) full of questions about the natural world with watered-down-for-kids answers. On top of that, I've always had a fascination in the complexity of seemingly simple things. For example, I one of my favorite toys as a kid was a helicopter thing where you held onto a plastic handle, pulled on a string, and a rotor-blade like thing would fly high into the air and slowly descend as it lost momentum. I also had quite an interest in helicopters for a bit, both not because they did fly, but because they could fly (if that makes any sense). I guess it was more interest in something that had a scientific mechanism that enabled it to do the seemingly impossible, not simply because it did the impossible.
-also while a kid, I loved (and still do love) logic puzzles. One of my favorite games was called "Kriss Kross" or something like that. It was similar to a crossword puzzle, but instead of having words, it had strings of numbers and instead of giving clues, it just listed about 100 strings only organized length. From there, you were given only one seed string. I did as many as I could find and typically finished them all without trouble. Nowadays, my primary puzzle is similar: Sudoku. It's certainly more challenging and exactly the puzzle for me. It reflects my notion that there are niches for most anything just waiting to be filled and that things just need to be arranged in a careful way to optimize conditions. In short, I have a huge interest in efficiency. Likewise, I have always been a huge fan of the SimCity series, having played that a lot as a kid, often choosing to read the strategy guide (and all of its statistical glory) in lieu of the game.
-obviously my time working at Camp Sequassen and, more importantly, working with/for Rob. He was a freshman in college as I was a freshman in high school (my first year working at camp). It was during that summer that an interest in science really took hold in me. I don't know if it was Rob's influence or the fact that that next year I took my first chemistry course. I think I'll go with much of the former, but still some of the latter.
-my interest in lesser known things and typically unlearned mechanics. I like to, as I said earlier, discover the complexity in seemingly simple things. I like to know the chemical reactions behind changes or the mathematically derived equation for why something behaves the way it does. To be, the world is highly ordered, even if you can't see such. All you need to do is look on the correct scale, whether it be closer or further than you current perspective, to discover that most things operate in an ordered manner. (As a note, this line of thought this morning all came about when I was watching the mist of water spraying off of the back of tires on cars. I began to wonder how to create conditions in which the event could be transcribed over to a computer, analyzed, and used to create a realistic effect of this same event using CG, ie through algorithms.)
-my continued line of realizations that the world is exponentially more complex (and yet still ordered) than I can currently fathom. This happened on two large scales, both relating to my interest in performing chemical remediation.
=The first was when in my junior year AP Env Sci course, we had a mock town meeting over a Superfund site here in Connecticut. I volunteered to be the current owner of the plot of land (whose last name happened to Calabrese :P). In my research for the activity, I discovered that the site, the purpose of which during the polluting I do not recall, was ladened with numerous pollutants from PCBs and PAHs to nickel and chromium. There were at least ten major pollutants, a combination of persistent organic pollutants (POPs) and heavy metals primarily, that were above the EPA's "safe" levels. Prior, I figured that all polluted sites were strewn with only one kind of pollutant and that there weren't many significantly dangerous chemicals in the world (or at least, not many that were used for any purpose). On top of this was the discovery of many different methods for remediation of each pollutant, not to mention many different sources.
=The second epiphany came over the course of a few months. It was the summer during which I read Rachel Carson's Silent Spring. Somehow, I still thought that pollutants were avoided by manufactured and dealt with with utmost stewardship in all but the most extreme cases (like Love Canal or Times Beach). Of course, Carson's exposé on the usage of highly toxic, bioaccumalative POPs by the USDA (and their shameless promotion by the chemical industry) led me away from my previous intention of being a chemistry major and instead has pointed me on the trail to environmental science with a concentration in chemistry (which may change if necessary to suit my career goal).
At this point, I suspect my worry is that my chosen major won't reflect my wishes. I wonder if I'll need to look for a different major to pursue my career path. At this point, I'd really like to work in the remediation of polluted land. It'd be great to a) work outside, b) help clean up pollution, c) help return a piece of inaccessable land for development, d) make my positive impact on the environment. I just wish that there were a way to include educating others or in some other way help to make a larger change in the world on larger problems like global climate change and overpopulation. I feel so small sometimes when I consider my career path and realize that my contribution is going to be localized and won't do anything to stop new sites from popping u. What's the purpose of cleaning up pollution if it's not augmented with the reduction of it? I'm not wanting to be a green maid. I don't know, sometimes I wonder if it's what I want. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever escape the frustration associated with taking the time to learn about problems and watch so many others walk blindly by (although to their defense, they could likely say the same about me in some regards). I guess it's a wonder if people can ever find enough time to collectively care about what I do enough to make a difference so that maybe what I want to do will be an accomplishment instead of an exercise in futility.
When I think about it, it is quite complex. There is:
-the fact that I have always been rather interested in the natural sciences. I remember as a kid, my dad used to take my hiking a lot and he taught me the names of many trees. I also used to read a lot of books like "The Big Book of Answers" which was essentially a huge freakin' book (like 700 pages) full of questions about the natural world with watered-down-for-kids answers. On top of that, I've always had a fascination in the complexity of seemingly simple things. For example, I one of my favorite toys as a kid was a helicopter thing where you held onto a plastic handle, pulled on a string, and a rotor-blade like thing would fly high into the air and slowly descend as it lost momentum. I also had quite an interest in helicopters for a bit, both not because they did fly, but because they could fly (if that makes any sense). I guess it was more interest in something that had a scientific mechanism that enabled it to do the seemingly impossible, not simply because it did the impossible.
-also while a kid, I loved (and still do love) logic puzzles. One of my favorite games was called "Kriss Kross" or something like that. It was similar to a crossword puzzle, but instead of having words, it had strings of numbers and instead of giving clues, it just listed about 100 strings only organized length. From there, you were given only one seed string. I did as many as I could find and typically finished them all without trouble. Nowadays, my primary puzzle is similar: Sudoku. It's certainly more challenging and exactly the puzzle for me. It reflects my notion that there are niches for most anything just waiting to be filled and that things just need to be arranged in a careful way to optimize conditions. In short, I have a huge interest in efficiency. Likewise, I have always been a huge fan of the SimCity series, having played that a lot as a kid, often choosing to read the strategy guide (and all of its statistical glory) in lieu of the game.
-obviously my time working at Camp Sequassen and, more importantly, working with/for Rob. He was a freshman in college as I was a freshman in high school (my first year working at camp). It was during that summer that an interest in science really took hold in me. I don't know if it was Rob's influence or the fact that that next year I took my first chemistry course. I think I'll go with much of the former, but still some of the latter.
-my interest in lesser known things and typically unlearned mechanics. I like to, as I said earlier, discover the complexity in seemingly simple things. I like to know the chemical reactions behind changes or the mathematically derived equation for why something behaves the way it does. To be, the world is highly ordered, even if you can't see such. All you need to do is look on the correct scale, whether it be closer or further than you current perspective, to discover that most things operate in an ordered manner. (As a note, this line of thought this morning all came about when I was watching the mist of water spraying off of the back of tires on cars. I began to wonder how to create conditions in which the event could be transcribed over to a computer, analyzed, and used to create a realistic effect of this same event using CG, ie through algorithms.)
-my continued line of realizations that the world is exponentially more complex (and yet still ordered) than I can currently fathom. This happened on two large scales, both relating to my interest in performing chemical remediation.
=The first was when in my junior year AP Env Sci course, we had a mock town meeting over a Superfund site here in Connecticut. I volunteered to be the current owner of the plot of land (whose last name happened to Calabrese :P). In my research for the activity, I discovered that the site, the purpose of which during the polluting I do not recall, was ladened with numerous pollutants from PCBs and PAHs to nickel and chromium. There were at least ten major pollutants, a combination of persistent organic pollutants (POPs) and heavy metals primarily, that were above the EPA's "safe" levels. Prior, I figured that all polluted sites were strewn with only one kind of pollutant and that there weren't many significantly dangerous chemicals in the world (or at least, not many that were used for any purpose). On top of this was the discovery of many different methods for remediation of each pollutant, not to mention many different sources.
=The second epiphany came over the course of a few months. It was the summer during which I read Rachel Carson's Silent Spring. Somehow, I still thought that pollutants were avoided by manufactured and dealt with with utmost stewardship in all but the most extreme cases (like Love Canal or Times Beach). Of course, Carson's exposé on the usage of highly toxic, bioaccumalative POPs by the USDA (and their shameless promotion by the chemical industry) led me away from my previous intention of being a chemistry major and instead has pointed me on the trail to environmental science with a concentration in chemistry (which may change if necessary to suit my career goal).
At this point, I suspect my worry is that my chosen major won't reflect my wishes. I wonder if I'll need to look for a different major to pursue my career path. At this point, I'd really like to work in the remediation of polluted land. It'd be great to a) work outside, b) help clean up pollution, c) help return a piece of inaccessable land for development, d) make my positive impact on the environment. I just wish that there were a way to include educating others or in some other way help to make a larger change in the world on larger problems like global climate change and overpopulation. I feel so small sometimes when I consider my career path and realize that my contribution is going to be localized and won't do anything to stop new sites from popping u. What's the purpose of cleaning up pollution if it's not augmented with the reduction of it? I'm not wanting to be a green maid. I don't know, sometimes I wonder if it's what I want. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever escape the frustration associated with taking the time to learn about problems and watch so many others walk blindly by (although to their defense, they could likely say the same about me in some regards). I guess it's a wonder if people can ever find enough time to collectively care about what I do enough to make a difference so that maybe what I want to do will be an accomplishment instead of an exercise in futility.