February 28, 2006
Nicole and I were talking today about our favorite poems and she made the comment that all the poems I like are sad. Which is true for some reason. Thinking about it more led me to the realization that sometimes I am happy being sad. Not sad like totally depressed and miserable, but sad like something is bothering me but I won't say what. I think the reason I do that is because I want people to pay attention to me. If I act sad and won't tell them why, it gives them a reason to talk to me, to pay attention to me, and to care about what I have to say.
But I think that's stupid. I know people care about me and what I have to say. I know people pay attention to me and have plenty of good reasons to talk to me. I have an amazing girlfriend that cares about me all the time and is always interested in talking to me, even when she is mostly distracted by homework. I have many handfuls of friends that also care about me and want to talk to me. Maybe it's just that I am lazy a lot of the time and am usually sitting around doing nothing, while everyone else works a lot harder than me and is usually busy. And I don't realize that they're not too busy for me; I'm just too lazy.
So I'm going to work on fixing that.
_____
Scott
But I think that's stupid. I know people care about me and what I have to say. I know people pay attention to me and have plenty of good reasons to talk to me. I have an amazing girlfriend that cares about me all the time and is always interested in talking to me, even when she is mostly distracted by homework. I have many handfuls of friends that also care about me and want to talk to me. Maybe it's just that I am lazy a lot of the time and am usually sitting around doing nothing, while everyone else works a lot harder than me and is usually busy. And I don't realize that they're not too busy for me; I'm just too lazy.
So I'm going to work on fixing that.
_____
Scott