(no subject)
well here i am, back at bruno's again. ergh i wanna go home
so i went to kerries on wednesday and was with her until today, had a really nice time with her and now i miss her like crazy even though i think we would have started to irritate each other since we were pretty much in each other's pockets
i miss her so much
i can't believe that in my last entry, not only did i put it in the wrong lj account, but i also put that i was in love and let her read it, i completely forgot about it, can't believe how stupid i am sometimes
so she knew that i love her and she kind of tried saying it and then we talked about it and stuff and i still havent said it to her officially kos she's scared...i don't quite understand what of because i'm sure that this isnt going to be a repeat of last time
i certainly hope that it isn't going to be a repeat of my last time, i'm pretty sure it won't be
anyway, i dunno...i'm just going to wait a little while longer, i might tell her the next time i see her, we'll see.
so annie's still stuck in the land of unemployment
i'm unhappy
skint
bored
demotivated
fed up
pissed off
my stuff is scattered all over the country
my girlfriend lives miles away and went home today
i'm worried that the gig is going to go tits up
and just generally not very happy
i'm freeloading off of b and i hate that...i just really want to get out...i'm only doing it for the band...i just really want a fucking job, not some shitty shop job, i want a proper job like something to do with psychology and mental health
i've got a few applications to do tomorrow and it's sign on day tomorrow as well
ergh, i just wish someone would give me a break and give me a job
methinks i'm gunna ring healthy hub tomorrow and make an appointment because i need something to do before i go completely mental and kill someone or do something really stupid
i can't believe that i keep thinking about cutting, it's highly annoying because i don't want to do it and i really can't either i just want a job to distract me from everything else and how shit a time i'm having at the moment
so we had out first gig on saturday, it went really well and i couldn't have hoped for it to go any better
i was pretty nervous and slightly shakey when i was setting up and so on but once i got going it was really good
we've got one tomorrow night as well at the gay bar and they completely lied to us when they said that they have all the equipment that we would need, it turns out they have a 5 channel pa system and one speaker box...no amps or anything
it looks like we're just going to have to make do tbh but Dunc from playing aloud said that we could give him a ring and he would pop down and help us if he could which is so awesome of him
hopefully we won't need the gig to be saved but i dunno
its just so annoying that the christophers people can't even organise anything like a gig properly, it's mad
i've decided that i might go home after these gigs...it's just far too shit being here...i hate freeloading off people and me and bruno are starting to annoy each other a bit too much...also i can't find a job which is really bad kos there is nothing in lincoln and its incredibly hard to find a job...i'm seriously thinking about going to norwich kos there's loads of mental health jobs going there and some i know i could do...it's just so stupid tho
generally i'm getting the thanks but no thanks reply from places and it's getting old now
i just wanna get going with some kind of career...in some ways thats even more important than the band...just finding a job hmmm
anyway, now i've finally vented that i might just find something else to do, should hopefully sleep alright now that i've not got it going round my head lol yay
so i went to kerries on wednesday and was with her until today, had a really nice time with her and now i miss her like crazy even though i think we would have started to irritate each other since we were pretty much in each other's pockets
i miss her so much
i can't believe that in my last entry, not only did i put it in the wrong lj account, but i also put that i was in love and let her read it, i completely forgot about it, can't believe how stupid i am sometimes
so she knew that i love her and she kind of tried saying it and then we talked about it and stuff and i still havent said it to her officially kos she's scared...i don't quite understand what of because i'm sure that this isnt going to be a repeat of last time
i certainly hope that it isn't going to be a repeat of my last time, i'm pretty sure it won't be
anyway, i dunno...i'm just going to wait a little while longer, i might tell her the next time i see her, we'll see.
so annie's still stuck in the land of unemployment
i'm unhappy
skint
bored
demotivated
fed up
pissed off
my stuff is scattered all over the country
my girlfriend lives miles away and went home today
i'm worried that the gig is going to go tits up
and just generally not very happy
i'm freeloading off of b and i hate that...i just really want to get out...i'm only doing it for the band...i just really want a fucking job, not some shitty shop job, i want a proper job like something to do with psychology and mental health
i've got a few applications to do tomorrow and it's sign on day tomorrow as well
ergh, i just wish someone would give me a break and give me a job
methinks i'm gunna ring healthy hub tomorrow and make an appointment because i need something to do before i go completely mental and kill someone or do something really stupid
i can't believe that i keep thinking about cutting, it's highly annoying because i don't want to do it and i really can't either i just want a job to distract me from everything else and how shit a time i'm having at the moment
so we had out first gig on saturday, it went really well and i couldn't have hoped for it to go any better
i was pretty nervous and slightly shakey when i was setting up and so on but once i got going it was really good
we've got one tomorrow night as well at the gay bar and they completely lied to us when they said that they have all the equipment that we would need, it turns out they have a 5 channel pa system and one speaker box...no amps or anything
it looks like we're just going to have to make do tbh but Dunc from playing aloud said that we could give him a ring and he would pop down and help us if he could which is so awesome of him
hopefully we won't need the gig to be saved but i dunno
its just so annoying that the christophers people can't even organise anything like a gig properly, it's mad
i've decided that i might go home after these gigs...it's just far too shit being here...i hate freeloading off people and me and bruno are starting to annoy each other a bit too much...also i can't find a job which is really bad kos there is nothing in lincoln and its incredibly hard to find a job...i'm seriously thinking about going to norwich kos there's loads of mental health jobs going there and some i know i could do...it's just so stupid tho
generally i'm getting the thanks but no thanks reply from places and it's getting old now
i just wanna get going with some kind of career...in some ways thats even more important than the band...just finding a job hmmm
anyway, now i've finally vented that i might just find something else to do, should hopefully sleep alright now that i've not got it going round my head lol yay