Dream
I had the strangest dream last night. I can't tell if I loved it or hated it...
A memorial service for Jim was coming up, so the McBride's, me, and my parents were all getting ready for it. The police department was there, and doctors who treated him.
They all started talking about how he was dead when I got there...that I never got a chance to see him "alive." I was outraged, and I ran away from home, screamed, was violent, etc. My mom was looking for me, even though she was insisting that she knew he was dead, and never told me he'd make it.
Then it was time for the memorial...but I had to find my Jim.
This memorial was rather interesting in that the dead police officers were in a pond, underwater, waiting their turn until their names were called, then they would stand up and tell their story. I guess that trip to SeaWorld is stuck in my head...
The first name is read, and a young female officer stands up out of the water, and she is bone dry. I hear her talking, but I'm ignoring her, as I need to find Jim. I know he is here. I go into the water, and stand where he should be, as they are all in alphabetical order. He stands up right next to me, and looks me square in the eyes. He looks amazing, still wearing his hat, a twinkle in his eye, and bone dry like the rest of them. We stare at each other, and overwhelming joy encompasses me. Then it's his turn.
Jim turns around, facing the audience. He starts walking towards the shallow water, greeting living colleagues all the way. I'm following him, and I remember seeing Sipes and Fanone. Fanone has a girlfriend in tow, and he asks Jim something like, "How are you doing." Jim seems happy to see everyone, and I follow him as he climbs out of the water and towards a piano. He sits down and joyfully plays as I watch.
He is beautiful and happy.
And then I woke up, feeling very shaken and frozen. It was hard to move, and the song he was playing and singing kept echoing in my head. It took a moment to orient myself. I still feel weird, an hour after waking up.
A memorial service for Jim was coming up, so the McBride's, me, and my parents were all getting ready for it. The police department was there, and doctors who treated him.
They all started talking about how he was dead when I got there...that I never got a chance to see him "alive." I was outraged, and I ran away from home, screamed, was violent, etc. My mom was looking for me, even though she was insisting that she knew he was dead, and never told me he'd make it.
Then it was time for the memorial...but I had to find my Jim.
This memorial was rather interesting in that the dead police officers were in a pond, underwater, waiting their turn until their names were called, then they would stand up and tell their story. I guess that trip to SeaWorld is stuck in my head...
The first name is read, and a young female officer stands up out of the water, and she is bone dry. I hear her talking, but I'm ignoring her, as I need to find Jim. I know he is here. I go into the water, and stand where he should be, as they are all in alphabetical order. He stands up right next to me, and looks me square in the eyes. He looks amazing, still wearing his hat, a twinkle in his eye, and bone dry like the rest of them. We stare at each other, and overwhelming joy encompasses me. Then it's his turn.
Jim turns around, facing the audience. He starts walking towards the shallow water, greeting living colleagues all the way. I'm following him, and I remember seeing Sipes and Fanone. Fanone has a girlfriend in tow, and he asks Jim something like, "How are you doing." Jim seems happy to see everyone, and I follow him as he climbs out of the water and towards a piano. He sits down and joyfully plays as I watch.
He is beautiful and happy.
And then I woke up, feeling very shaken and frozen. It was hard to move, and the song he was playing and singing kept echoing in my head. It took a moment to orient myself. I still feel weird, an hour after waking up.