(no subject)
Wail, Ah guess it's about time thet Ah posted in this here jernal! I has been so damn busy with mah prosteetushun thet Ah ain't had no dadblasted time to update this here jernal. Wail, you can call me a bucket o' hog jowls, but Ah is postin' now, so you can just kiss my big white hairy patootie!
The other day Ah was standin' up on the Northeast corner of Fourth an' Main where th' Commonwealth Bank is... when this ugly ol' heifer came up to me an' calt me a harlot! Ah ain't known what thet was, but Ah din't like her tone of voice none! Ah tol' her she could shove it whurr th' sun don't shine, an' she gat up all over me an' tried t'kill me, she did!
Wail, Ah dragged her sarry lookin' ass down to th' Dinsmore & Shohl's LLP down on Fifth street an' kicked her ass to th' curb. Wail, Ah went inside an' told them thet she came up an' hit me in the head with her dangblasted pocketbook! They got th' PO-lice up thurr an' some witnursses an' Ah'm fixin' t'sue th' bitch.