Ooh! This one's got a hidden crumb tray!

Nov 19, 2004 22:35

OK, it's time to reveal the ugly truth, a truth I have known for weeks now and have been struggling to come to grips with ( Read more... )

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Re: On behalf of my country: hey! the_gwenzilliad November 19 2004, 15:30:36 UTC
I suppose offering to carry your love child is an inappropriate response to this comment, but what the hey. =)

You need to be adored. And I, as you might have guessed, am very good at adoring people.

(I'm just starting Lost in a Good Book, and was reminded that I needed to write this toast post when I read that the Toast Marketing Board was sponsoring the talk show on which Thursday Next was appearing.)

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Re: On behalf of my country: hey! persis November 19 2004, 15:49:14 UTC
Oh, I know why you are both in our extended family! :-) I love reading your experiences, Harper, and Zander just has a way with words.

Last night I went to the only Boston area reading and book signing by Nigel Slater... I haven't laughed so hard in ages; he read some passages from his latest book, an autobiography of his childhood from ages 9-18. Mind you, he got the sad parts read on The Connection in the am, and left to good stuff for us. Having spent time at Talis's and Zander and Janet's, we are well acquainted with toast, but when Nigel started in with his Mum holding the burned toast out the kitchen window, and this was not a once in a while occurance, I couldn't help myself. The book is on top of my to-be-read pile. Is it a coincidence that toast has come up here?

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Re: On behalf of my country: hey! relentlesstoil November 20 2004, 08:13:04 UTC
*groan*

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Speaking as an American... auryn29a November 19 2004, 15:54:35 UTC
Ah! That Red Dwarf episode with Talkie Toaster makes more sense now.

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Re: On behalf of my country: hey! tnatj November 19 2004, 15:54:49 UTC
That's odd about not finding a toaster that makes consistent toast.

I have a toaster and it seems to have no trouble at all.

Perhaps the problem is the inconstant consistency of the bread? A slice a tad drier than its siblings will toast much darker. And a moist slice will be a pleasant golden color while a slice laid out for even 1/2 hour may go black at what seems the slightest warming.

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Re: On behalf of my country: hey! hrrunka November 20 2004, 02:24:16 UTC
I once had a fancy toaster with a single extra-long extra-wide slot that was supposed to be able to avoid doing that, but one day, with an in-elegant "phut!', some component expired in its poor little electronic apology for a brain. I guess it couldn't cope...

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Re: On behalf of my country: hey! folkmew November 19 2004, 18:40:26 UTC
Just for the record: I would carry your love child too.
I'm not as strong as I once was so I couldn't carry him/her far but I'd be more than happy, especially pigaback.

;-)

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Re: On behalf of my country: hey! keristor November 20 2004, 02:40:05 UTC
The Germans have a term for the sort of white bread which is squareish and sliced. They call it 'Toast' (uncooked). One reason we obsess about toast is that it's one of the few things to do with what the English call 'bread' which makes it interesting (others include feeding it to ducks, and making bread-and-butter pudding).

I remember what Michael Flanders said about eye-level grills -- carefully positioned so that without having to bend down it can spit right in your eye. Well, not /your/ eye of course, but my eye and that of other people of lesser stature than yourself *g*...

(I totally agree with you about toast by fork. Unfortunately few houses now have the requisite oopen fire. Or toasting forks...)

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Re: On behalf of my country: hey! points November 23 2004, 00:21:17 UTC
Hmm. Now that I realize the actual goal is simply to -replicate- the behavior of the end-product betwixt differing operating sessions, I forsee that there may soon be two-hundred-and-one toasters on the market.

In this slot, insert your reference toast. At which point my micro-controller, A.I., expert-system with no less than seventeen independent sensors will lovingly attempt to craft the humidity-matched duplicate from the given raw material, placed via forefinger and thumb into the slot cunningly marked 'B.'

Procurement tells me the average cost per unit should fall within no less than four hundred pounds per unit. Complexity analysis tells me we could get a baker's dozen slices between failures. Do you think we have a marketable product?

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