(no subject)
He started ignoring me a month ago. Now that I know the truth, I've given up, moved on, started ignoring him too. And he actually noticed.
I know it's not a huge item, but when things were good he used to lock the front door behind him when he left for work, and for some reason this always struck me as sweet and meaningful. Like he wanted to keep me safe. Like he cared. Anyway, at some point he stopped doing that. But now that I've clearly moved on, he's started doing it again. I'm not sure whether that means he cares again, has realized the error of his ways and wants to protect me, or if it is a way of trying to lock me up. I go out without him. I don't tell him what I do. I've slept over at Link's 3 times this week, but he doesn't know where I was. He only knows how much I've been away.
As for Link... there's another detail that makes things even more complicated. My best friend is also Link's best friend. And she happens to be infatuated with him. And since we come to each other about all of our guy-related stuff, in the past I ended up giving her a lot of advice and encouragement because I really thought it was just a matter of time for them. Well, she left the country for 10 days and Link and I started hanging out a lot, and he revealed that although he loves our friend, he does not and probably won't ever see her that way, and he's always been more attracted to me. So in return I reveal that before we met, a mutual acquaintance wanted to set us up but kept flaking out, so by the time I actually got to meet Link I was seeing someone. But perhaps the "bad timing" was for the best, because we got the chance to become friends. Unfortunately, my best friend also got the chance to fall in love with him. So now she's back, and now when she comes to me to gush about him I don't know what to say. I talked to Link about it, and he agreed with me that he has to be more clear with her or she'll never have a chance to get over him. I don't know how long I can bite my tongue either so he has to make a change soon. The longer it drags out, the more it's going to hurt my best friend. I can't let her get hurt. I know he doesn't want to hurt her either, which is why it's hard for him to guage how affectionate to be. Meanwhile we have to sneak around like we're having an affair when really we haven't even kissed, we just don't want people talking. Now is not the time for us anyway. I'm in no state to be jumping into anything, even though now I want to more than ever. And Link really is wonderful. And we have so much in common. But he's even older than the boyfriend... exboyfriend I guess... so I'm a little wary. I think he is too because of everything going on. Anyway, we like being together. He makes me smile. But we shouldn't take it to the next level right now. But I'm still sexually frustrated because I haven't gotten laid in a month. Maybe I'll pick things back up with Coty. I really don't know if that's a good idea either, being on the rebound now and having developed confusing feelings for him when we did stuff before. Grrrr too much confusion.
I know it's not a huge item, but when things were good he used to lock the front door behind him when he left for work, and for some reason this always struck me as sweet and meaningful. Like he wanted to keep me safe. Like he cared. Anyway, at some point he stopped doing that. But now that I've clearly moved on, he's started doing it again. I'm not sure whether that means he cares again, has realized the error of his ways and wants to protect me, or if it is a way of trying to lock me up. I go out without him. I don't tell him what I do. I've slept over at Link's 3 times this week, but he doesn't know where I was. He only knows how much I've been away.
As for Link... there's another detail that makes things even more complicated. My best friend is also Link's best friend. And she happens to be infatuated with him. And since we come to each other about all of our guy-related stuff, in the past I ended up giving her a lot of advice and encouragement because I really thought it was just a matter of time for them. Well, she left the country for 10 days and Link and I started hanging out a lot, and he revealed that although he loves our friend, he does not and probably won't ever see her that way, and he's always been more attracted to me. So in return I reveal that before we met, a mutual acquaintance wanted to set us up but kept flaking out, so by the time I actually got to meet Link I was seeing someone. But perhaps the "bad timing" was for the best, because we got the chance to become friends. Unfortunately, my best friend also got the chance to fall in love with him. So now she's back, and now when she comes to me to gush about him I don't know what to say. I talked to Link about it, and he agreed with me that he has to be more clear with her or she'll never have a chance to get over him. I don't know how long I can bite my tongue either so he has to make a change soon. The longer it drags out, the more it's going to hurt my best friend. I can't let her get hurt. I know he doesn't want to hurt her either, which is why it's hard for him to guage how affectionate to be. Meanwhile we have to sneak around like we're having an affair when really we haven't even kissed, we just don't want people talking. Now is not the time for us anyway. I'm in no state to be jumping into anything, even though now I want to more than ever. And Link really is wonderful. And we have so much in common. But he's even older than the boyfriend... exboyfriend I guess... so I'm a little wary. I think he is too because of everything going on. Anyway, we like being together. He makes me smile. But we shouldn't take it to the next level right now. But I'm still sexually frustrated because I haven't gotten laid in a month. Maybe I'll pick things back up with Coty. I really don't know if that's a good idea either, being on the rebound now and having developed confusing feelings for him when we did stuff before. Grrrr too much confusion.