*hand flailing*
So all of the teachers have said with increasing frequency two things:
1) If we always 我慢する eventually it'll just build up and we'll explode, so we should talk to them or to the office staff. This plea was accompanied by drawings of volcanoes and hand motions to demonstrate "to explode."
2) It's been unusually warm in Hakodate recently, and when it gets warm we get tired and don't want to do anything/get irritable.
I've hit that point. Both points. Whatever the hell I'm talking about.
I'm hot, sweaty, tired, mentally drained, and I just want to do nothing. I get irritated at the smallest things, whether it's regarding me or other people, real life or RP. Of course there are things that are nice and that cheer me up, but even something as small as someone not replying to a comment I've made (not a tag) is getting on my nerves. I can't stand to eat dinner at the same time as my housemate. I hate that I have homework to do and I hate how long it takes me to type LJ entries.
I should only have to 我慢する through school and RP. School because it's school and it's a bitch but that's why I love it, and RP because I at the moment I have no patience for stupidity, asshattery, and more stupidity. I have no patience for people who don't like me when I'm being perfectly pleasant and trying my best, and I have no desire to interact with people who think only of themselves and don't see it as a collective effort. I deal with people who pretend to like me but obviously don't give a shit, and I deal with people that I like who can't be bothered to pay attention to me. I deal with this because in the end, there are actually genuinely nice, interesting, friendly people who appreciate me and make me feel like I'm not worthy of their friendship and time.
I should not have to 我慢する through real life. I should not have to feel like every day I'm going to cry or just starting screaming at people because I'm just that annoyed. It's one of the worst feelings I've ever experienced. Right now I feel like the good things don't override the immediacy of the bad things - that the fun things aren't balancing out right. I laugh and I have a good time and I'm happy and I've made friends, but that somehow isn't enough to make me want to take a deep breath and bear with the person next to me chewing with their mouth open just one more day. It makes it harder to deal with everything else. It exacerbates my irritability and it confuses me because I have nowhere to turn to find a way to get away from it.
I'm so frustrated. This isn't like the other time(s) where I've wanted to give up because I feel defeated and inadequate. This time I want to give up because I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to describe it.
In the meantime, have a pretty picture.
1) If we always 我慢する eventually it'll just build up and we'll explode, so we should talk to them or to the office staff. This plea was accompanied by drawings of volcanoes and hand motions to demonstrate "to explode."
2) It's been unusually warm in Hakodate recently, and when it gets warm we get tired and don't want to do anything/get irritable.
I've hit that point. Both points. Whatever the hell I'm talking about.
I'm hot, sweaty, tired, mentally drained, and I just want to do nothing. I get irritated at the smallest things, whether it's regarding me or other people, real life or RP. Of course there are things that are nice and that cheer me up, but even something as small as someone not replying to a comment I've made (not a tag) is getting on my nerves. I can't stand to eat dinner at the same time as my housemate. I hate that I have homework to do and I hate how long it takes me to type LJ entries.
I should only have to 我慢する through school and RP. School because it's school and it's a bitch but that's why I love it, and RP because I at the moment I have no patience for stupidity, asshattery, and more stupidity. I have no patience for people who don't like me when I'm being perfectly pleasant and trying my best, and I have no desire to interact with people who think only of themselves and don't see it as a collective effort. I deal with people who pretend to like me but obviously don't give a shit, and I deal with people that I like who can't be bothered to pay attention to me. I deal with this because in the end, there are actually genuinely nice, interesting, friendly people who appreciate me and make me feel like I'm not worthy of their friendship and time.
I should not have to 我慢する through real life. I should not have to feel like every day I'm going to cry or just starting screaming at people because I'm just that annoyed. It's one of the worst feelings I've ever experienced. Right now I feel like the good things don't override the immediacy of the bad things - that the fun things aren't balancing out right. I laugh and I have a good time and I'm happy and I've made friends, but that somehow isn't enough to make me want to take a deep breath and bear with the person next to me chewing with their mouth open just one more day. It makes it harder to deal with everything else. It exacerbates my irritability and it confuses me because I have nowhere to turn to find a way to get away from it.
I'm so frustrated. This isn't like the other time(s) where I've wanted to give up because I feel defeated and inadequate. This time I want to give up because I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to describe it.
In the meantime, have a pretty picture.