(no subject)
Yes, yes I am still alive. I am just without the net again.
Life is unchanged really. Here are the highlights.
Still single, and hating it.
Still have the same job, I've so far survived the various lay-offs.
Still have my Guinea, and he is still AWESOME.
Still the best damned Aunt on the planet, but Autumns daughter seems to hate me. Well, she hates everyone that isn't her mother.
I need to think of ways to get out of the house. I found out that the local community college here in Vancouver doesn't offer fun non-credit non-student classes unless you are over 65. I really want to take something fun like a cooking class. Pretty much all of the community colleges over in Portland have a TON of classes, but I'd have to pay out of state costs. Turning a cooking class that should cost $65 for two classes a week into $215. Fuck that I say. Even the community centers here are aimed at kids or old folks. It seems that my 33 year old self is screwed. Some suggested volunteering but so far I've not found something that works with my schedule that doesn't involve mentoring messed up kids or working with old people who are on their way out. I get too attached to old people to work with someone whose soul could float away at any moment.
About two months ago I got super sick. Nothing like N1H1 or anything like that but sicker than I have been in a while. It started out as just a normal cold. Lots sneezing, hacking and the like. About three days after that came on it started to feel like I was at the top of a big ass hill and my ears wouldn't pop and the coughing was getting out of control. When the ears kept getting more and more sore I went to the doctor. Not only did I have a nasty cold but I had also developed a double ear infection and a nasty case of bronchitis. By the time I got my antibiotics the left ear infection decided, just to make my life more fun, to move deep into my inner ear. Thus, severely impairing my ability to walk. So I was stuck at home, creeping around my apartment like a 90 year old, having problem sitting up straight or even standing. The ears made it to the only way they didn't hurt was when I laid down. The only problem with that was the bronchitis made anything other than sitting up a cough fest. I was off work for two days one week and three the following. When everything finally cleared up I was sooo happy to go back to my job. The only thing worse than being sick is being stuck in your cable and internet free apartment.
Over the last five months I've gone on some truly horrible first dates. And some dates that seemed great where the guys turned out to be, to say the least, lame. Here are the highlights in no order.
Nick -
We had dinner and listened to a band that played really bad music but played it with spirit. Dinner lasted a good two hours where we talked and laughed a lot. After the date we walked around for another hour chit chatting about life. We then spent half an hour with me leaned against my car while we did some pretty great kissing. And it was just kissing, he didn't make a play for the girls but I did, from time to time, feel Mr. Happy brush against me. Not in a grinding himself on my leg or anything but I could tell Nick was enjoying the smooching. He opened my car for me and told me what a really awesome time he had and that he would love to do it again. Two nights later I got a text telling me that he had met someone the afternoon after our date that he was interesting in pursuing.
Stephen -
We went to a great casual Hawaiian restaurant in NE Portland, lots of getting to know you chatting and we agreed that we had a great time. We started to set up date number two, he called and said he was checking the availability of a place we both wanted to try and was never heard from again. He didn't return calls, emails or texts. I know he didn't die because a few weeks later he included me on a forward of a pretty funny joke. When I replied back "That almost made me fall out of my chair from laughing" the stretch of silence resumed.
Joe -
He asked me, after we ordered drinks but before they arrived, what his odds were of getting sex at the end of the night. My shock at the question must have showed on my face cause he then said "Hey, just trying to decide how much effort I need to put in to this thing" I told him no effort at all was needed, paid for the drink that I didn't consume and walked out.
Jason -
Now Jason seemed great. Without a doubt my type. Tall, cute, laid back and really funny. We went bowling at a place down the road from my work. We played two games but spent so much time talking and laughing that those two games took almost three hours. He took me home and there was a wee bit of kissing in the parking lot. He walked me to my door, gave me a sweet kiss, made no attempt to get into my pants. Fifteen minuets after he left he called and told me to turn my radio to a certain station. They were playing the song Amanda, he said it was a highly entertaining end to a great date. We had date number two at a pub down the road from my house and had an equally wonderful time playing pool as we had bowling. Lots of chatting and getting to know each other over pub grub. We each had two drinks and spent a good four hours making sure the booze was out of our systems before heading to our cars. There was some kissing in his truck and where all players in the game rounded second base. Date number three happened after he got home from visiting family out of state for New Years. I decided OK, date three. Time for action! Lots of making out and lots of foreplay ended, sadly, with Mr. Happy falling asleep halfway through the show. No biggie I thought, it sometimes happens. There was no mocking, no poking fun at, no shaming in anyway. Holiday stress does odd things. We spent another half hour in bed just talking and cuddling. A few days later I called, no answer. I few days after that I sent a few texts. How is work, what's new and the like. A few days later I sent a text asking if there was any point in me keeping his number to which he said "nope, no point at all". I was a bit confused so I sent an email saying "OK, I don't really know what happened but feel free to text or call if you want, I really did have a great time on our dates" I thought maybe he was embarrassed about the earlier die off. Then, the little jack off sent me this. "Well maybe if you weren't so fucking fat I wouldn't have had that little problem in bed." WHAT?? Excuse me? He was trying to blame his erectile dysfunction on me? oh FUCK THAT! So I replied back "Excuse me? I was a fat chick when you asked me out, I was a fat chick when you made out with me, I was a fat chick when you were happily playing with my boobs in your truck. If I had known you had a dick that didn't work I wouldn't have bothered to lace up the bowling shoes!" Don't try and insult me without getting some mean shit thrown right back at you.
So yeah, still single and not really expecting that to change anytime soon. As much as I would love to find a great guy, at the moment I am seriously doubting there are any out there.
Life is unchanged really. Here are the highlights.
Still single, and hating it.
Still have the same job, I've so far survived the various lay-offs.
Still have my Guinea, and he is still AWESOME.
Still the best damned Aunt on the planet, but Autumns daughter seems to hate me. Well, she hates everyone that isn't her mother.
I need to think of ways to get out of the house. I found out that the local community college here in Vancouver doesn't offer fun non-credit non-student classes unless you are over 65. I really want to take something fun like a cooking class. Pretty much all of the community colleges over in Portland have a TON of classes, but I'd have to pay out of state costs. Turning a cooking class that should cost $65 for two classes a week into $215. Fuck that I say. Even the community centers here are aimed at kids or old folks. It seems that my 33 year old self is screwed. Some suggested volunteering but so far I've not found something that works with my schedule that doesn't involve mentoring messed up kids or working with old people who are on their way out. I get too attached to old people to work with someone whose soul could float away at any moment.
About two months ago I got super sick. Nothing like N1H1 or anything like that but sicker than I have been in a while. It started out as just a normal cold. Lots sneezing, hacking and the like. About three days after that came on it started to feel like I was at the top of a big ass hill and my ears wouldn't pop and the coughing was getting out of control. When the ears kept getting more and more sore I went to the doctor. Not only did I have a nasty cold but I had also developed a double ear infection and a nasty case of bronchitis. By the time I got my antibiotics the left ear infection decided, just to make my life more fun, to move deep into my inner ear. Thus, severely impairing my ability to walk. So I was stuck at home, creeping around my apartment like a 90 year old, having problem sitting up straight or even standing. The ears made it to the only way they didn't hurt was when I laid down. The only problem with that was the bronchitis made anything other than sitting up a cough fest. I was off work for two days one week and three the following. When everything finally cleared up I was sooo happy to go back to my job. The only thing worse than being sick is being stuck in your cable and internet free apartment.
Over the last five months I've gone on some truly horrible first dates. And some dates that seemed great where the guys turned out to be, to say the least, lame. Here are the highlights in no order.
Nick -
We had dinner and listened to a band that played really bad music but played it with spirit. Dinner lasted a good two hours where we talked and laughed a lot. After the date we walked around for another hour chit chatting about life. We then spent half an hour with me leaned against my car while we did some pretty great kissing. And it was just kissing, he didn't make a play for the girls but I did, from time to time, feel Mr. Happy brush against me. Not in a grinding himself on my leg or anything but I could tell Nick was enjoying the smooching. He opened my car for me and told me what a really awesome time he had and that he would love to do it again. Two nights later I got a text telling me that he had met someone the afternoon after our date that he was interesting in pursuing.
Stephen -
We went to a great casual Hawaiian restaurant in NE Portland, lots of getting to know you chatting and we agreed that we had a great time. We started to set up date number two, he called and said he was checking the availability of a place we both wanted to try and was never heard from again. He didn't return calls, emails or texts. I know he didn't die because a few weeks later he included me on a forward of a pretty funny joke. When I replied back "That almost made me fall out of my chair from laughing" the stretch of silence resumed.
Joe -
He asked me, after we ordered drinks but before they arrived, what his odds were of getting sex at the end of the night. My shock at the question must have showed on my face cause he then said "Hey, just trying to decide how much effort I need to put in to this thing" I told him no effort at all was needed, paid for the drink that I didn't consume and walked out.
Jason -
Now Jason seemed great. Without a doubt my type. Tall, cute, laid back and really funny. We went bowling at a place down the road from my work. We played two games but spent so much time talking and laughing that those two games took almost three hours. He took me home and there was a wee bit of kissing in the parking lot. He walked me to my door, gave me a sweet kiss, made no attempt to get into my pants. Fifteen minuets after he left he called and told me to turn my radio to a certain station. They were playing the song Amanda, he said it was a highly entertaining end to a great date. We had date number two at a pub down the road from my house and had an equally wonderful time playing pool as we had bowling. Lots of chatting and getting to know each other over pub grub. We each had two drinks and spent a good four hours making sure the booze was out of our systems before heading to our cars. There was some kissing in his truck and where all players in the game rounded second base. Date number three happened after he got home from visiting family out of state for New Years. I decided OK, date three. Time for action! Lots of making out and lots of foreplay ended, sadly, with Mr. Happy falling asleep halfway through the show. No biggie I thought, it sometimes happens. There was no mocking, no poking fun at, no shaming in anyway. Holiday stress does odd things. We spent another half hour in bed just talking and cuddling. A few days later I called, no answer. I few days after that I sent a few texts. How is work, what's new and the like. A few days later I sent a text asking if there was any point in me keeping his number to which he said "nope, no point at all". I was a bit confused so I sent an email saying "OK, I don't really know what happened but feel free to text or call if you want, I really did have a great time on our dates" I thought maybe he was embarrassed about the earlier die off. Then, the little jack off sent me this. "Well maybe if you weren't so fucking fat I wouldn't have had that little problem in bed." WHAT?? Excuse me? He was trying to blame his erectile dysfunction on me? oh FUCK THAT! So I replied back "Excuse me? I was a fat chick when you asked me out, I was a fat chick when you made out with me, I was a fat chick when you were happily playing with my boobs in your truck. If I had known you had a dick that didn't work I wouldn't have bothered to lace up the bowling shoes!" Don't try and insult me without getting some mean shit thrown right back at you.
So yeah, still single and not really expecting that to change anytime soon. As much as I would love to find a great guy, at the moment I am seriously doubting there are any out there.